As we write these lines, men deliberately decide to murder women to reaffirm their dominance over them. Every day, in the world, 137 women die at the hands of a relative, and one third at the hands of their partner or ex-partner, according to the latest UN report. How many women have to be killed in order for a true policy to eradicate this scourge to be launched and finally understood that it is not about isolated events but a system of social domination of one sex over another?
From Harvey Weinstein to Dominique Strauss-Kahn, through Roman Polanski and Jeffrey Epstein, the #MeToo revolution is the true turning point of this century, the sign that it will not be like any other and that we have fully entered the XXI century. Women have always tried to build a fair and balanced model of society, setting an example through their words and their resistance. Their commitments are renewed in each era to allow humanity to exploit its potential, often at the cost of suffering domination and exploitation. From Anne Zinga to the suffragists, from Rosa Parks to the #MeToo militants, women keep asking us, raising awareness and mobilizing about the society we want.
Women do not stop questioning, raising awareness and mobilizing us about the society we want
But, in this struggle to raise, improve humanity, a significant and heavy silence prevents us from moving forward: that of men. What does it mean to be a man in the 21st century? What is (are) the masculinity (s)? Masculinity is linked to conquest, to power. We, the men, are the ones who exploit a system in which we always have all the advantages and that, in fact, we have built for that purpose. Women have theorized feminism and masculinities to overcome their condition and integrate men into their struggle.
The men we hear about masculinity (Trump, Bolsonaro, Putin and others) are locked in a defensive and aggressive position, unable to develop a humanistic vision, at the service of everyone. His conception of masculinity aims to defend the established order and, above all, change nothing. There is fear of seeing a world disappear, fear of seeing our hegemony vanish. The masculine is synonymous with freedom at the expense of others. To perpetuate that dominance, there are "safeguards" that watch over us and remind us of the "good principles" of masculinity, the myth of virility. We are locked in a supposed invulnerability. Because to be vulnerable is to betray.
There is a bad link to the relationship with power, invulnerability and control of our emotions. We need to rethink, rebuild, revolutionize, individually and collectively. Stop making coldness a virtue, stop isolating ourselves from our emotions, in other words, integrate all aspects of who we are to live in peace. We want to appropriate and put into practice an idea of Edward Said on identities. In his book Orientalism , he says that "human identity is not only neither natural nor stable but also derived from an intellectual construction, when it is not completely invented." Said proposes as a mode of action "the construction of an identity [...] linked to the exercise of power in each society". To get out of the "dehumanizing ideologies" it would be necessary that each human being and each system had the will to "unlearn the spontaneous spirit of domination."
What we propose is to re-imagine and heal again, also individually and collectively. From us, from each individual, can we help to stop building or nurturing systems that legitimize differences through separation, segregation, manipulation, domination and death?
We are locked in a supposed invulnerability. Because to be vulnerable is to betray
We want to contribute to the conceptualization of a way of life, a way of relating, sharing and collaborating, with a system based on the complementarity, equality, benevolence, physical, emotional and emotional security of individuals. How? Talking to each other Talking about our vulnerabilities. Because talking is already a transgression. It is to dare to forbid and kill the myth. That myth of the invulnerability that makes humanity suffer and, therefore, the planet. This invites us to question man's relationship with domination, with the feeling of invulnerability and irresponsibility. Who are we and what role do we play in the face of the great crises of our world?
This world in which the attributes of masculinity reign has favored a culture of irresponsibility and the privileges that are at the origin of the global economic and social disaster. The paradox is that the response given to the contemporary evils of society is interpreted through the mutation of the international political landscape. The rise to power of extremes, beginning with divisive leaders who embody the myth of manhood and nurture "dehumanizing ideologies," move us a little further from fundamental moral principles. Perhaps it is the moral, precisely, that allows us to get out of the myth. Dare, run the risk of exposing ourselves as we are, overcome the fear of reconsidering and jeopardize everything we take for granted.
It is necessary that the public authorities of all countries facilitate discussions about masculinity, to act more concretely against this plague that devastates our world. We know very well that it will not be the decisive element, but it is a stone that is lacking in the arsenal of initiatives to promote equality between women and men.
Bolewa Sabourin is a dancer and choreographer, co-founder of the LOBA association. William Njaboum , a member of the collective, is an economist.
Translation by María Luisa Rodríguez Tapia.
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