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Boom, ethics and aesthetics of the 'dick pick' during confinement: if you are going to do it, do it well

2020-04-07T11:07:04.151Z


Sexual habits change during confinement and social distance leads to new forms of eroticism and seduction, although almost all end up in the image of one of the most photographed things of the 21st century.


Dick pic ? Avoiding anglicisms is an act of good journalism, but let's agree that avoiding its most direct translation is an act of elegance here. That term defines the photo that a man takes of his member to send it to another person, within the context of a digital sexual courtship that is almost exclusive to the 21st century and has its designation of origin on social networks (whether they are to link or no: explicit photos overflow private Instagram messages). Nor is it entirely new. In the nineties they could be sent over the Internet, although they took much longer to arrive. In the eighties they could be published in contact magazines, although you had to go through the drink of someone doing them and someone revealing them. For having, there are historians who believe that the poet Walt Whitman did it to them already at the end of the XIX century.

During these days of confinement due to the Covid-19 pandemic in which many couples who do not live together have been deprived of intimate moments and singles cannot go out to flirt, sexting has become a powerful weapon for the drill. of normality. So much so that from The Guardian experts recommend it and even youth publications such as Teen Vogue explain how to do it well (to the absolute horror of the Christian press). All this usually ends in an image that is already almost in the DNA of the social networks of the 21st century and circulates privately with more quantity, speed and diffusion than that of any celebrity: a penis.

"If what you are looking for is only sex, showing the merchandise from the beginning makes your purpose very clear," says the sexologist. But for those who receive it, there is sometimes something more practical than mere excitement. "In a photo of this type there is a lot of information that goes beyond size", explains a writer from Madrid

Within this phenomenon of the dick pic there are many variables, but ethics is the most important. Let's tattoo this on the inside of the eyelids before continuing the reading: sending a photo of this type to someone who has not requested it is harassment. And let's also remember, as reported to ICON by the National Police, that although " sexting is not a crime, spreading intimate photos of other people who have previously sent us or even forwarding those of strangers if it could be."

The Internet is the perfect place to update an old figure: that of the man who opened his raincoat to show his sex in a parking lot, now emboldened after anonymity and impunity. "According to the figures, the desire for exhibitionism in the genitals occurs more in men than in women and the rate of men suffering from a disorder that we can call paraphilia is over two percent." explains sexologist Eva Moreno, who has just published the book My desire depends on me (Editorial Grijalbo). When is paraphilia considered? "When it is an uncontrollable desire that, if not satisfied, causes states of anguish and anxiety."

"Men who send the image of their genitals indiscriminately seek to make the person who receives it uncomfortable, as a way of violating any norm," continues the specialist. "It is also a way of reaffirming your manhood. Sometimes, lack of self-esteem leads to that being the only way to do it. Sending that image causes a false sense of power and control over who receives it." Having overcome these previous considerations, it is clear that we are talking about an intimate photo sent by an adult to another adult who has previously requested it.

In 'Euphoria' the photos of penises roam freely on mobile phones. And in Nate's case they cause him more than one problem.

For the sender, as the sexologist suggested, it is a ritual that may have some self-affirmation, self-centeredness. Whoever sends a photo of his penis acts as the artist who draws the curtain on his latest painting: he expects a review and he hopes it is a good one. "If what you are looking for is only sex, showing the merchandise from the beginning makes your purpose very clear," says Moreno. But for those who receive it, there is sometimes something more practical than mere excitement. "In a photo of this type there is a lot of information that goes beyond size," explains a writer from Madrid who is in her forties. “Lighting is basic to me. An intimate photograph in the dark and twilight makes me automatically think of psychopathy. And then there is the decor, the sheets, the choice of underwear. I get the feeling that many men take the photo and send it directly without taking a look. That says a lot about whether they are retailers, if they take care of the forms ”.

This love of anatomical photography is not shared by everyone. The dick pic world is absolutely divisive: it is as easy to find people who use them, claim them and enjoy them as people who are horrified by their very existence. There are no half measures here. For example, for this Murcian engineer who is not in his thirties, for whom the process has more aesthetic than moral problems: "I think of sending a photo of my own penis to a woman and I am overwhelmed with shame. Even though in some cases it may be opportune, it could not because I would not be able to move the process forward. I am very embarrassed to imagine someone doing it at home, trying poses and angles alone. "

Don't believe everything you see. “If the camera has an angular lens it distorts the ratio and, when zoomed in, creates something akin to the fisheye effect. That makes what is in the foreground look bigger, "explains a photographer.

"I detest this type of photos, I do not participate in the phallocratic fever that ravages the gay world and also a penis does not seem to me a very photogenic thing in general," says another deserter of sex 2.0, in this case from Madrid and in his thirties. "Obviously, a dick pic implies the promise of good sex. And that is part of a contemporary tendency to reductionism, to take the part for the whole, that is, to do vital metonymy." For others, there is a lot of generation gap in this audiovisual idea of ​​sexual pleasure. "Receiving a photo of a penis makes me start and laugh and it certainly doesn't excite me at all," explains a Barcelona editor who is in her forties. "If this happened in a context of flirting, I would think that the person who sent it to me is a bit crazy and it would automatically take away the desire to continue flirting. I am aware that this is a cultural and generational frontier, because I see in series youth like Euphoria who is perfectly admitted and accepted. "

A thirty-five-year-old Galician official, who sporadically uses networks to meet people and have sexual encounters with other men, represents just the opposite: he demands this type of images from his appointments for a purely practical matter: “Look, if I'm going to traveling fifteen kilometers by car I want to know what I am going to find ”, he explains. “When I meet another man to have sex, I demand to see photos of everything before. I don't want to scare me. It is not so much for the size, that many men are wrong with that, but for the shape. I am looking for a nice penis. Also, size can be deceiving, there are a thousand ways to make something look bigger or smaller. However, the aesthetic is there, it cannot be disguised. ”

A photographer confirms that it is very easy to deceive the lens and, therefore, the receiver of the image. “If the camera has an angular lens it distorts the ratio and, when zoomed in, creates something akin to the fisheye effect. That makes what is in the foreground look bigger. The camera that the iPhone has as standard has these characteristics, so all you have to do is put your mobile in front of what you want to photograph to get a photo where what is in the foreground looks very large and the rest does not. ” Their advices? "Never put the flash on, don't zoom in on the camera from below to alter the size, which is very noticeable, and choose natural light from a window whenever you can."

But when did this purely visual part of sex start to interest us so much? When did desire become a kind of anatomy book (a curiosity: while men demand more of the photo of their penis, women demand more of the photo of their breasts)? The influence of pornography is obvious in shaping sexual desire in more recent generations. "The sexual model of porn has influenced our sexual education, of course," confirms sexologist Eva Moreno. "There are so many sexual inputs that we receive from porn and from the media that we build sexuality from a model of self-demand: 'I have to have a bigger penis, I have to endure longer' ... A long list of false beliefs that can lead us to distance ourselves from sex by living it more as a burden than as a pleasant experience. Porn should not be demonized, but I do deeply miss more education and less shame to talk about sex and skin ". Conclusion: let's be creative during confinement, let's take advantage of technology and its possibilities if we wish, but let's enjoy again after a touch that goes beyond that offered by the mobile screen.

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Source: elparis

All news articles on 2020-04-07

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