All couples tend to worry as their special day approaches. It will rain? Will the cake appear in time? Will Aunt Diana get along with Uncle Federico's new wife? But this season's engaged couples are dealing with something they could never have seen coming: having to change everything at the last second due to a pandemic.
This is something that anyone who has been planning any type of event (a birthday celebration, an anniversary party, a retirement party ...) has had to consider although weddings, of course, need special consideration.
Without a doubt, this type of abrupt postponement is enough to shake even the most organized future brides, like Nicole Iorio from Glendale, New York. Her April 24 wedding to Chris Fesler, a New York City police officer, was to be the culmination of a decade-long courtship. The excitement among their families and friends increased every day.
Your chosen location has now offered you the next available date: 14 months later. "I have cried several times," says Iorio. But her loved ones are helping her and Fesler stay positive. "Everyone asks us how we are and if we need something," she says. “Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to. That reminds me that no matter when or where, they will still be there to celebrate with us. ”
Process your disappointment
In an unprecedented crisis, such as the coronavirus pandemic, couples may feel guilty that their biggest concern is wedding plans. But experts say the initial feelings of overwhelming disappointment are normal and understandable.
"It's completely natural for couples to feel sad and angry when their wedding has to be postponed through no fault of their own," says Tara Flynn, a licensed mental health counselor in Babylon, New York, who advises couples. “There are plane tickets purchased by family members, a paid honeymoon, and many other problems to contend with. Their feelings about their wedding and what is happening in the world are completely separate from each other. "
Flynn advises couples to go ahead and mourn their "missed" wedding, but then start making plans for the future. "That gives you back some of the control you feel you lost," he explains.
And for Nicole Iorio, it's about having perspective. "When all is said and done, I can spend an eternity with my best friend," she says. "Also, I've already waited 10 years, so what is one more?"
Properly postpone
Marti Heard, a wedding planner in Cincinnati, notes that couples are almost universally putting off their big weddings, even if they have to wait a year or more, rather than just getting married in court and forgetting the reception.
"This is an emotional moment brides have long dreamed of," says Heard. "Nothing will stop them! The only cancellation I had was because the boyfriend is in the military and called to active duty. ”
"It's still possible to celebrate the wedding of your dreams," says Dayna Isom Johnson, trend expert at Etsy. Their main advice is to keep the same suppliers, if possible, rather than looking for new companies. "This will make the date change as smooth and profitable as possible," she says.
He also urges to review each supplier's contract to make sure what their deferral policy is, and then call each to discuss next steps. Then once they have their new date, it will be time to send an announcement to the guests and update their wedding website if they have to.
Finally, "celebrate something on your original date," says Isom Johnson. One idea is to organize a virtual gathering of close family members and / or your wedding party. Send microwave popcorn or a fun dessert to use in video chat, and make a mojito or other fun cocktail together. "Honoring the day will bring closure, even if they just hike together or bake a cake," says Isom Johnson.
Choose the right way to advertise it
Couples will find more “date change” cards to choose from than they might expect, from discreet and elegant to cheerful and colorful (something that happens relatively often even when there is no pandemic). Downloadable designs can be a good option. They can print them out right then and let guests know about the change in plans as soon as possible. And, of course, they can email you and spread the word without leaving your home.
If couples are wondering if a funny or comical announcement may be appropriate under the circumstances, the answer is yes. "The best way to handle life's ups and downs is a sense of humor," says Heard. “You can be fun while showing grace and tact. Your guests will understand and smile. "
Here are 10 deferment cards that we love. Although they are in English, most can adapt to Spanish texts if necessary:
Change of Plans by Foxwood Lane (digital download, $ 5; etsy.com)
Wedding Change the Date Card (100 cards, $ 109; papersource.com)
Lemonade by Sarah Curran Designs (digital download, $ 6.75; etsy.com)
Bad Dancing by Amy Payne (100 cards, $ 154; minted.com)
Postponed by Sweet Cloud Design (digital download, $ 5; etsy.com)
Change the Date Announcement (100 cards, $ 120.81, foil additional; vistaprint.com)
Roll with it Postcard by Palm Paperie DIY (digital download, $ 7; etsy.com)
Boho Postponed (digital download, $ 5; etsy.com)
We Still Do Announcement by Peachy Prints UK (100 cards, $ 104.68; etsy.com)
Update by iDesign Stationery (digital download, $ 2.45; etsy.com)
Note: The above prices reflect the price at the time of article posting.