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What are the benefits of being a gossip? 1:14
(CNN) - People love gossip. It's one reason why, in the 1960s, the National Enquirer changed the gruesome and gruesome headlines for what were known for scoops and celebrity scandals. The change gave the tabloid access to the supermarket checkout lines and the "inquisitive minds" in them.
But it's not just tabloid readers who love to gossip. Social scientists have discovered that everyone is programmed to pay attention to and participate in gossip. In fact, it is an evolutionary adaptation: gossiping has become human nature.
"We are descendants of people who were good at this," said Frank McAndrew, a professor of psychology at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois. "In prehistoric times, people who were fascinated by other people's lives were more successful."
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McAndrew, an expert on human social behavior and gossip, explains that in order to thrive in the caveman era, we had to know what was happening to the people around us.
"Who sleeps with whom? Who has power? Who has access to resources? And if you weren't good at it, you weren't very successful, "he said.
Gossip generally has a negative connotation, especially when you think of hurtful rumors or tabloids and a person's right to privacy.
But in everyday life, the researchers say, our talk about other people tends to be relatively boring and neutral and serves its own unique purpose.
52 minutes of gossip a day
Most researchers define gossip as talking about someone who is not present and sharing information that is not widely known.
And according to an analysis by researchers at the University of California, Riverside, the average person spends 52 minutes every day doing exactly that.
However, most of our gossip is harmless. About 15% of our conversations involve negative judgment, or what researchers call "evaluative," but other than that, the average person is only documenting facts, such as "being stuck late at work" or "had to go to the hospital. " This type of neutral chat actually helps us build friendships, community or learn information that is vital to having a social life, said Megan Robbins, a professor of psychology at UC Riverside.
"You can establish a relationship by talking about other people and discovering something about others in the group," he said. "Even for those types of evaluative gossip, you're saying, 'I'm trusting you with this information.'"
Although gossip is often stereotyped as a female, low-class or uneducated hobby, Robbins said they all do.
"Our data debunked all stereotypes," said Robbins. “As a social species, we have to talk about people. We do not live in isolation, and we talk about people who are inevitably sometimes not present. ”
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They all gossip, and it's not that bad
The practice becomes purely harmful when it provides no opportunity for social learning, scientists say, such as with rude comments about someone's appearance or health and comments that are blatantly false.
Where critical or negative gossip can be useful is when it provides cultural learning and forces people to behave better.
Robbins said there is compelling research that gossip could serve as a check on people's moral behavior, deterring potential cheats or loafers in a group setting because we care about our reputation and the risk of other gossip about our poor decisions. .
It can also be a way to discover unwritten rules. For example, when we start a new job, break time chat helps us discover what office attire is acceptable, who we might avoid working on a team project with, and whether taking a month vacation is acceptable.
"Sharing gossip with someone is a bonding mechanism," McAndrew said. "It really increases morale."
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This human habit is not limited to a certain age group. Sociology professor Stacy Torres studied this habit among older people living alone in New York City. Their research revealed that older adults engaged in gossip in local restaurants and shops as a way to connect with others, maintain social ties, and combat loneliness.
"This is something we see in different cultures and at different ages, although it may have a different flavor," Torres said. "Many of them said, 'Oh, I don't want to participate' or 'I need to see what I'm saying,' but then they show up every day and participate."
Torres, who now works at the University of California, San Francisco, added that gossip gives us an opportunity to vent about people and at the same time allow us to maintain positive social ties to them in general. Even when the gossip of the elders appeared to be negative or rude, it generally came from a place of consideration.
"They had nicknames for each other, some were derogatory, but it was obvious that they were thinking of each other," Torres said. For example, they called each other, but then added a comment on how to communicate with them: 'Has anyone heard from old men so-and-so?' There was an element of concern, "Torres said," and they were monitoring (each other). "
Why do we care about celebrities?
Humans are programmed to care about the lives of people who are friends, enemies, or family. The researchers call those people "socially important." But why do we care about famous people we have never really met?
"What happens is that our caveman brains are not prepared to deal with it (modern communication). In those days, if you knew a lot about someone, they were by definition socially important to you, ”McAndrew said.
This is especially true today thanks to the internet and social media, which means we know a lot about people we don't know. Being aware of that information tricks our brains into thinking that celebrities are socially important to our lives. One of McAndrew's studies showed that we even gravitated toward tabloid stories about celebrities of the same gender and age group.
"They are our cohort, they could be our rivals or allies," McAndrew explained. "Consciously, you know they don't matter and you're not going to meet them, but they press the same buttons on our brains as the people who matter to us."
Celebrity gossip also gives us points in common with others. Knowledge of pop culture gives us something to talk about during those awkward little encounters or at parties where we don't know many people.
"You might even think that staying on top of celebrities is a social skill," McAndrew said. "It lets you know about things that other people care about."
If you're concerned that your gossip is excessive or damaging, start by examining the reasons why you think you have a problem, McAndrew said, as you may not be using the skill properly.
"Bad gossips are people who indiscriminately criticize both what they have heard and who they are listening to, or they are individuals with a clearly selfish agenda in which gossip is designed to damage the reputation of their rivals," he said. Those who do it well “know things, but are trustworthy in being discreet. They have the welfare of others on their radar. "
If you notice that "your gossip is damaging your relationships or taking time away from other things you need to do," McAndrew said, it may be time to cut.
The expert suggested that you try to avoid the situations or people that bring out the worst in you.
Gossip