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(CNN) - Michael Phelps says the coronavirus pandemic put him in a "scary situation" in terms of mental health.
Phelps, who won the gold medal 23 times at the Olympics and retired as the most decorated Olympian of all time after the Rio 2016 games, spoke frankly of his battle against depression while away from swimming, and He acknowledged that in the past he considered the idea of committing suicide.
Without a fixed routine during the pandemic, he says he has endured one of the toughest stretches of his life.
“It has been one of those months. Non-stop, my humor jumping up and down, and everywhere, ”Phelps said in an article for ESPN.
"The pandemic has been one of the most terrifying times I have been through," he added.
“I am thankful that my family and I are safe and healthy. I'm thankful that we don't have to worry about paying the bills or putting food on the table, like so many other people right now. But still, I'm fighting, "he explained.
Phelps has become an advocate for speaking out openly about mental health after his retirement.
READ: Forget about finding happiness, better focus on finding peace in the midst of anxiety
The athlete described how therapy and support from his wife, Nicole, have helped him manage his bouts of depression.
In the past few weeks, he says he's been relying on gym breaks for 90 minutes in the morning every day.
"If I lose a day, it's a disaster," said Phelps.
“Then I get into a negative thought pattern in my own head. And when that happens, I'm the only one who can stop it. And it usually doesn't stop very quickly, ”he explained.
“I will simply lengthen it, almost to punish myself in some way. That is what I do if I make a mistake or upset someone, then I think it is always my fault and I take everything out on myself, ”he said.
Then he added: “When that happens day after day, you can put yourself in a scary situation pretty quickly. And this is what quarantining has been a lot of time. "
READ: The impact of the covid-19 pandemic on mental health is already "extremely worrying", says the UN
Phelps is an interlocutor with online therapy company TalkSpace and earlier this month donated 500 months of free therapy to healthcare workers who are on the front lines of the battle against the coronavirus.
He also launched the Michael Phelps Foundation that promotes healthier lifestyles for children through swimming.
"I want to help others. And I want to take responsibility, "said Phelps.
"There are a lot of people fighting exactly the same thing. It doesn't matter what you've been through, where you come from or what you want to be, ”he said.
"Nothing can stop you. You just have to learn the tricks that work for you and then follow them, believe in them, to avoid entering a negative cycle, "he explained.
coronaviruscovid-19Michael Phelps