Is it possible to identify a pedophile in advance and what to do to prevent child injury? • Rabbi Ila'ai Ofran explains how the explosive and problematic issue should be addressed

• Illustrative image // Photo: Oren Ben Hakon

Again, a pedophile who was caught in a synagogue was caught, and this time in Netivot: Collaboration between pedophile hunters and police resulted in the capture of a 52-year-old man, a police volunteer and a cantor suspected of harming the youths whom he prepared for a bar mitzvah volunteer.

How can a pedophile be identified in advance and is there anything to do to prevent harm to children and boys? - "Sexual offenses result from secret ground, and when there are fewer secrets - there are also fewer vulnerabilities," explains Rabbi Ila'ai Ofran, a community leader and psychologist who works to prevent sexual abuse in religious societies. "They won't believe him even if he tells. A society in which the casualties are not believed is a society in which they are not told; and a society in which they are not told is a paradise for offenders. Therefore, trust in the victims is the most successful tool for eradicating sexual offenses."

Is it possible to identify the pedophile in advance?

"The vast majority of people don't hurt anyone, so no one is automatically suspicious, but you can't draw a profile in advance and say 'this is what a pedophile looks like.' There is no such thing, and unfortunately, you can't say anything about anyone." Suitable to be a pedophile. "Anyone can turn out to be a pedophile."

so what are we doing? Lock the kids at home to prevent sexual abuse?

"The name of the game is to create an environment where the child can speak. Studies show that talking children are less hurt, so the most significant tool parents can give their child is to make him understand that he is good at sharing his experiences and what is happening to him. And it's not just in areas of injury, of course, But in any case, if the child fails the test, but when he tells his parents their reaction is just anger that he has not learned well enough for the exam, the child may learn better for the next exam, but he may also learn that it is better not to tell. He was given a test when he received a certificate, but there are other things that if the child does not tell, we will not know. , Where the child speaks and the parent listens to him, without interruptions and without distractions like a phone. "

What more rules can help?

"Parents need to be present, physically or mentally, in the spaces where the children are; they should not be present all the time, of course, but the child needs to know that the parent is around and can come in at any moment and check on their safety. It is also important to determine the age of those with whom they play: children We need to know that they cannot play with anyone, but only with their peers and not those who are older.The children also need to know that there are things that require parental permission: If someone offers a child a lollipop or cookie, we do not tell him that So a four-year-old will take and not tell, but we say 'you can take, but you have to tell.' The assumption is that if an abusive child offers a lollipop and the child replies: 'OK, but I have to tell the mother,' it will deter him because he knows he might Be caught".

In conclusion:

1. Remember that the offenders are a minority of society, but also that no one is suspicious.

2. Create an atmosphere of listening to children, and open-mouthed talk where you can talk about vulnerability and sexuality.

3. Set clear rules about the game or any other interaction with children and adults.