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Dancing at All Weddings | Israel today

2020-06-12T20:42:35.395Z


| You sat down"We're watching the episode, and Hadar says, 'They'll fall on me again.' I told her, 'Mommy, I got you. What do you care about others?'" • Dennis Ruskov and Hadar Brier are happy Styling: Yehli Abichzer, Makeup: Shay Ben Dear Solo, Hair: Liat Ben Samson, Dennis - Shirt: Sachs, H&A Pants Photo:  Finney M. Siluck For six months, the couples of Hadar Breyer and Dennis Ruskov, the heroes of the r...


"We're watching the episode, and Hadar says, 'They'll fall on me again.' I told her, 'Mommy, I got you. What do you care about others?'" • Dennis Ruskov and Hadar Brier are happy

  • Styling: Yehli Abichzer, Makeup: Shay Ben Dear Solo, Hair: Liat Ben Samson, Dennis - Shirt: Sachs, H&A Pants

    Photo: 

    Finney M. Siluck

For six months, the couples of Hadar Breyer and Dennis Ruskov, the heroes of the reality show "Wedding at First Sight," "have been on a steady rise. True, loving, right and healthy relationships," says Breyer (34). "I couldn't believe that such a beautiful love story exists in reality. We had such a good time."

And then the plot took a turn?

"Then they started broadcasting the program. I didn't expect such dissonance between filming and broadcasting. Something that was so positive and magical to me would be interpreted so negatively and crookedly in whoever viewed it from the screen and raised in front of me a huge wave of reviews and insults. I had no such aspiration, but the almost sweeping Katilla circled me.

"Before the broadcasts started, there was a sense of fun in me. Here, let's go back to the laughs we had, to the love that developed between us. I didn't forget there were difficulties, arguments, bumps, but most of the time we were mostly charming.

After the first two episodes, still in the honeymoon, I got a big market and realized it was going to be a lot harder than I thought. From there on, I watched all the chapters not through my eyes, but from the eyes of anyone who wrote or wrote comments full of venom. And there was an unimaginable amount of vicious reactions. "

for example?

"A private message on Instagram: 'I don't tend to post messages in private to someone I don't know. But I have to tell you, I just don't like you. You're a horrible woman and your behavior is unbearable.' I quickly became one who thinks herself without a cause, a mean woman And a cynic who suffers to see the man she is happy, friendly and nice with. Then I was described as having completely turned her attitude towards Dennis because of his apartment, because I am a pursuer. Of course, a two-room apartment in Givatayim is what will make me want a man.

"There are episodes that I was very honest and direct about with Dennis. I was very proud of myself because one of my hardest problems in previous relationships was that I tried to please and round corners, rather than being attentive to myself and making my own voice.

"I was perceived as being condescending, coming in with demands and flying. Why drop me off? Why is it wrong to say what you think and feel? For a moment I did not show disrespect to Dennis. Why women, much more than men, are the ones who criticized me for standing up for mine. For example, when I told Dennis that I did not want to fly to Japan a month after the filming ended, I made it clear that I wanted him to stay here next to me, after the camera was turned off, so we both understood what was really going on with us.

"Leave me alone, do it for yourselves. No feminist struggle will help if you let us all down on these little things. It hurt me so much. Why go out on a woman who looks strong? Why if I'm single over 30, I have to shut up And get what they give me? Really sorry, what right do I have? It's pure chauvinism. It's not just about me. That thinking needs to change first and foremost in women. We deserve to have requirements. We're just as successful as men. ?

"It frustrated me terribly. I said to Dennis, 'Fulfill if I tried to dwarf you to raise myself. But it was so mutual between us, full of caring and open communication. We both build a stable and genuine relationship and I kidnap. I don't like me, I'm ugly, I'm Dumb, I reject, bad, Gold Digger, I don't deserve Dennis, and he's worth a thousand times me.

"Dennis is indeed the most equal in the world. But that was just part of the dynamic. It didn't end with the fact that most of the criticism and convictions were directed at me and not at him, but that they glorified Dennis and lowered me. It worked together, combined."

Did you fear it would make Dennis look at you differently? Maybe ruin everything you built?

"No, maybe. I was really worried about the future of our relationship. I was very scared that these reactions would seep into him. I was afraid that they would poison what we sowed and cultivated. It greatly disturbed me.

"Dennis said to me, 'Leave my mom, these are nonsense that passes by me and don't move me.' But I was worried it wouldn't pass by. He might say this to calm down, because he saw that during the season's broadcasts, every day, I live the fear caused We have damage. "

Did you not trust Dennis and what was created between you?

"I trusted Dennis very much, and rightly so. Because here we are, still together. But I remembered that we were at the beginning of the road, under abnormal conditions, and there is something here that I might lose. I went into this journey full of confidence, taking care to be most honest and true to myself. "I was so complete with the way we went together, and suddenly every inch of her and I were completely exposed."

Did you not take all this into account when you decided to participate in a reality show that starts under the canopy with a stranger and continues in filming in bed, in the bathroom and during couples therapy? 

"Everything was taken into account. I didn't think it was going to mean you were almost drowning in evil. Intended for hate on the internet at very high levels, which I had no idea existed. And how can you prepare yourself to be immune to evil and not allow it to penetrate your heart? I needed the support of Dennis and luckily he was there. "

***

Put some violin music in the background, because at this point in the plot, Ruskov (32) acted appropriately for who was defined in the post-mortem episode of the season, which aired last Tuesday, as the most distracted man in the country.

"Broadcasting was difficult for me, because Hadar was difficult. Together, I can't and don't want to cut myself off from her. We watch the episode, I see Hadar getting defeated, shrinking and telling me 'I won't understand again. I'll be falling again.' "Mommy, I understood you. What do you care about others? That's what matters." My mom always says that people who make poison are the ones who end up sleeping with him every day. These are people who have to live with this disgust within them, not me I really feel sorry for them.

"I really do not accept that everything is legitimate and this is our problem because we chose to participate in a TV show. Is it justified to rise up and be harmed by a pure evil directed at you, even as a reality show participant. 

"During our first week together, it was quite clear to me that I didn't see almost anything compiler except for her defensiveness. It was obviously not about me, but the process. Two absolute strangers learning how to run together. She can't speed her own pace and I'm not I did nothing wrong. What is she upset about? For being nice? My intentions were only good and I saw that she knew it. I understood her cynicism, her humor. "

Did you understand her even when she was angry that you had sunk into a friendly conversation with a passing tourist, during your honeymoon, instead of being focused on her? 

"I didn't feel for a moment that she was talking about a place of anger, condescension and power, but of a bare place of difficulty. She was hit by situations with the tourist, while it was clear to me that she was exposed and showing vulnerability in front of me. Guys, what do you shut down? That he's broke and she's almost crying? What are you attacking her with and demanding that she be more sociable? "

More than vulnerable times for citrus, it was a clash between your character and hers. You were told this on the treatment couch. Citrus is not nice and you are.

Citrus: "I barely knew Dennis for two days, and I couldn't understand what it meant to him. On honeymoon, I felt like I was trying to fit in the conversation Dennis is having with the tourist, but he leaves me aside. I could say, 'This is the person. He could, for one thing, bump into me in response, be offended, upset, and draw conclusions about my character.

"The beauty was in the way the clash between us was resolved. I was in turmoil, Dennis listened, apologized, hugged me, was really a gentleman, made it clear that it was not what I meant and my situation amounted to astonishment. I was amazed by Dennis. I did not recognize such behavior. Dennis's character. He's a prince. He's a real charm. "   

Dennis: "Social. I'm Social."

***

Breyer reached the third season of "Wedding at First Sight," after her manicurist signed her up for the show. "I had a serious relationship that lasted three years, from age 28 to 31. Over the two years prior to the program, I was not good in terms of love. I was treated by apps. Elevators, browsers, erasers, so forth. And that was the attitude I gave to others, though That it goes against my personality.  

"I decided I would give in to the process, because I have nothing to lose. I assumed I would know a man who would fly at him but it would end just as quickly, or it wouldn't work out in advance, but at least they would see me. See that I was intelligent and funny, I would do a job with myself and hence open up The road to a relationship. I couldn't believe I knew someone like Dennis. I knew a man you could come to life with. "

She was born and raised in Ashdod. Her mother, portfolio, worked as a nurse in an inpatient department and is now a pensioner. Her father, Zvi, worked at the Electric Company and died of lung cancer about ten years ago. She has two older sisters (Ayala, 42, and Avital, 40) and a twin brother, Doron, all of whom have already established families.

Brier devoted her childhood to classical ballet studies, and at the age of 16 joined Valerie Panov's ballet band in Ashdod, while attending high school.

"I've spent all my life in that. Seven hours every day in the band, then boarding a bus to Tel Aviv, and taking classes wherever I could, even with fourth grade girls to grow up to the level of all the Russian dancers in the band, who came up with much more classical education than my own I danced in Ashdod circles in the afternoon. My education did not come close to theirs. I had to build my own foundation, because even to stand properly on stage I sweated my life. I had no muscles for it. They just didn't develop because I didn't get to them. ".

In the army she did not serve, "because the band was quite stressed and did not want to miss the opportunity I was given. These are critical ages for the dancer. I was lucky because I was released on excess manpower. I was very, very thin, and I think it also made a difference. To give up service and I'm probably not proud of that choice, but it's done. It's part of my life story. "

At the age of 22, she was accepted into the Israeli Ballet Band and danced there until she was 25, "and then a new way of searching began. I danced in two productions of the Israeli Opera, studied Pilates training, like many ballet dancers. I traveled through India and Eastern Europe, "I'm not a migratory type. I returned to Israel and began studying at Tel Aviv University, Bachelor's and Master's degrees in Biology, with an emphasis on the field of immunology."

In recent years, she has been working in the Clinical Therapy Laboratory for blood cancer patients and melanoma in Tel Hashomer, as well as a ballet teacher for girls and girls, in the studio in Ra'anana.

***

Ruskov was born in Russia and immigrated with his family to Israel at the age of 6. Shortly after their immigration, his parents divorced, and he grew up with his mother, Jenny, 48, and his sister Natalia, 29, first in Sderot and then in Rishon Lezion. With the father, Igor, the relationship remained tenuous until he died, about 12 years ago.

In the IDF, he served in the IDF, a dry technology division, mainly in communications infrastructure planning and intelligence gathering, based on fiber optics. After his release, he studied computer science at Tel Aviv-Yafo Academic College, "This is what allowed me to work in parallel with my studies. I had to continue working full time." Until recently, he worked as a software engineer at Dell, and in recent months has moved to Sentinel One, which deals with cyber security.

The program came about thanks to "a close friend of mine and my mom who trained with me in the gym. One day she said to me, almost casually, 'There is a program about love and relationships, I know one of the bands there and I want to record you.' She "will impress me, nothing will come of it anyway." At no point did I treat it as something fateful. I figured maybe they wouldn't take me because I'm not an interesting person on screen. I'm too normative. Too boring, in the positive sense of the word. I'm not a television character. If I accept, you probably won't get any love out of it. Statistically it doesn't make sense. "

So unlike a compiler, aren't you looking for love?

"Love was the thing I lacked most in life, and the only thing that has more variables that I'm not in control of. In my career I control completely. I work hard and know where I am aiming. How my body looks I control, because I invest in it, constantly training, "In relationships, you don't control everything, so I wasn't where I wanted to be."

Have you been able to fall in love and love?

"I succeeded. I had a great love that lasted for more than five years. A completely different love, love of age 20. It ended seven years ago, we are not in touch, but I know how much fun it is to love and be loved. I told myself I would try to be accepted into the program, because it is not It would require nothing from me but me.

"That's right. Choosing the person who's willing and able to put his insides out on the show. They kept telling us, 'If you think about what comes out of your mouth and put on a show that isn't really you, it won't go well. You won't believe it for a second.' "I was afraid to think I was cocky, because I have confidence in myself, or I cried because I cried quite a bit on the show."

Or excessively connected to his mother and letting her manage his life?

"It really disturbed me that we were presented as if we were connected to cable, and she was stirring my life. That's not the case. I really appreciate my mother, she is a wonderful and amazing woman and had the best influence on me in the world. But I know what to take from her and what not.

"She never interfered in my relationships with girls. The first time she just started dribbling me in the ear, many years ago, I made it clear to her that every time you say something to the girl I'm dating, you just hurt the relationship between me and you. At my own discretion. '

"She trusts me and everything is done remotely. She's been living in Miami for six years, I see her once in eight months. Guys, you don't know my relationship with my mom. Don't get in touch with me with my mom. Lightly to what they are being said about. "

 What else did they say about her?

"Recently I was photographed when I went to work out with Nir (Por, a season participant alongside Hagar Moshe, above). I wore military print sneakers and immediately started running comments, he has dirty shoes because he spends all his money on the apartment, and that's all because his mom taught him to be a pervert with money and she's a lesbian at all, because she took pictures with her good friend in a bathing suit. delusion.

"Written and said unpleasant things about me too. He lectures, he's a nice guy. Well, you don't really know me. In the end, it's all gossip. Opinions and perceptions based on my spin-bake. Even after a long time on screen and personal exposure, what you see He's just a part of me. That's why positive reactions don't excite me either. "

Citrus: "The backlash of the harsh reactions came to my mother as well. We didn't talk about each other because I was in my grip, sensitive and crying for almost everything. So she talked to Dennis. He reassured both me and her.

"And there were a lot of positive reactions as well. Women who wrote to me that they learned from me in a relationship, strengthened me and saw me. Beautiful words and lovely and unintelligible responses. From these responses I took a screen shot and sent it to my mother."

***

They live to this day in Ruskov's apartment, which has become their home on the 49th floor of a Givatayim business and residential tower, along with 19-year-old Lisa Lisa.

What we didn't see on the screen are a trio that regularly accompanied Breyer and Ruskov. "Director, photographer and producer," Ruskov explains. "Three days during the week and every weekend they were with us. Usually the director and the photographer were with us in the apartment, and the producer sat in the hall, or in the lobby of the building."

Did they manage to become transparent at one point?

Citrus: "No. Not at all. For a moment I did not forget that I had a camera on me. It is impossible to ignore the fact that there are people with us at home, and we also respect them. I will not go to sleep when there is a staff here. At least we felt. "

Dennis: "This is not a show. You mostly feel compelled to talk about something interesting. Coming back from work at 7 pm, and until you go to bed they are with you."

At the beginning of a couple relationship, after a long day of work, producing situations worthy of a rainbow prime time broadcast, didn't sound fun.

Citrus: "Not sure these are ideal conditions. It worked for us. Without this format, we would not be together."

If Dennis was trying to get to know you, wouldn't you give him a chance?

"I would fly it straight away."

Dennis: "I would not try at all. She is beautiful but does not transmit access and I do not get smart. I can go directly, say, 'Hi Ladies, what's up? I am Dennis, very pleasant,' and a handshake to squeeze. , Obviously".

Citrus: "I'm full of first-team defensemen and Dennis is completely open. It wouldn't have gone to us."

Dennis: "Girls probably want to go around with them. They start with them, but they don't feel like they're starting with me. It's always been hard for me. My friends would tell me, 'Go on, talk about sure. Come indirectly.' But I'm not sure. "Your dad's a gardener, what flower are you." I'm not, "Do you come here a lot?" It seems silly to me. I'm not like that. I can say, 'You're pretty to me, you look smart, I want to know you. You want to know me?' "

Citrus, Dennis is not your "type" in more exams. You said you would rather the guy they knew you not be Russian, and you were criticized too and said you were racist.

"She never said she didn't want to be with a Russian man," Ruskov intervenes. "It really annoyed me. She never said she would deny anyone because he was Russian. She referred to existing perceptions of differences between Russian and Sabra mentality."

Citrus: "My father was a native of Russia and my mother was Iraqi. They didn't get along, the relationship was very bad, until they got divorced when I was 18, and it may have something to do with it. My dad was a cooler, alienated, distant, barely kissed and hugged man. I wanted a partner who would not hesitate to hold my hand in the street, to show warmth and not to hide his love. The Soviets are more difficult. But Dennis is different. He is far from answering this definition, and I didn't say I would refuse. Russian man.

"I grew up in Ashdod, where the second language is Hebrew. I saw that the Russian community is closed, not at all Israeli society. It bothered me, we have some company. Why should I assimilate you, when I am in my country. Especially around the ballet, I learned their language and integrated into the culture. Why don't you open up to Israeli society?

"Dennis is the most Israeli to me, along with his European mannerisms. The winning combination. That's the magic. And from the outside, he has everything I asked for. They haven't missed anything."

Dennis: "She didn't ask for much. A man with hair on his head and broad shoulders. That's all."

Citrus: "Really. I said everything I could. You say everything. Defines the man of your dreams, on paper.

"What do I care, I will say everything that comes to mind. It was important for me to know a successful man. Behind success are many important things. Ambition, a person who does not live in the moment, but looks ahead. It is not a matter of some kind of diploma or degree or Money, but goals and goals in life, and besides, hair on my head, broad shoulders, that would be taller than me, but not much, not hairy, that he had a beautiful smile and bones for a man's life.

"I took everything out, and they made sure of every section. I don't have a tape cast. Black, white, a certain community. But there are patterns I like and Dennis has them all. They found everything I asked for and it was still different from what I imagined."

Dennis, what did you ask for?

"You will be funny and have a good heart. That is all, but it is really hard to find a funny woman with a good heart. To say that it is beautiful to me is complex. It had no color or shape."

Citrus: "You asked someone over 1.68 meters. You were very specific, about the centimeter. He defines it mathematically. 70 percent smart, 25 percent good heart and five percent funny."

Dennis: "She's obviously exaggerating. But the demand that she makes me laugh is not trivial at all. She has a lot behind her. She needs to understand my humor, and I have to understand her humor, and that we both think it all comes out as something that really bothers us. "And it happened, as far as I'm concerned, she was the smartest. Did she have to learn something for that at university? I don't know. Not necessarily."

***

The format of the program is based quite a bit on playing with the weaknesses, fears and most sensitive points in the personality and life of the participants and participants, to all viewers. Without producing dramas at the expense of your vulnerability and exposure, people won't wait for the commercials to stop.

Hadar: "I can understand the criticism. This is a TV show. Produce content that does not necessarily contribute to the couple. Going to the honeymoon immediately. Going straight to living together. Obviously these are not natural data. There is no gradation here. I think there are couples in the film that cannot To succeed between them, but without cameras something would have developed. They would have succeeded. Dennis would not agree with me on this. "

Dennis: "I think it's a catalyst for a relationship. It requires you to deal with the most complex parts of the relationship quickly. Flying overseas, living together, fighting, these classic tests for relationships and the program are accelerating. You see how you work as a couple. If we all stood so focused and succeeded, we are all set. Hadar and I worked superbly as a couple under these conditions.

"For me, it's quite clear that couples who didn't get on screen won't get behind the scenes either, or after the teams fold and disappear from their lives. For those who are very hard during filming it is not surprising for a moment that after filming it does not ripen. I felt that if we were To succeed as a couple under these conditions, we will surely succeed in real life. And that's exactly what happened and happens to us. "

What made you successful?

"Dennis and mine are the ideal couple, as far as I'm concerned. The relationship between us developed right after the book. I liked the fact that the defenses and the walls slowly fell, which we faced with differences of opinion. In contrast to the past, I did not settle for very basic things, to make myself known, not to forget me. I feel like our relationship is healthy thanks to open and honest communication. I feel I can bring everything to him, express my deepest and most extreme feelings, go crazy and contain and stabilize me. I didn't think there was such a thing. I got the perfect partner. It's cliché but that's how a man should act. "Being ego-free, immediately embracing and then talking. I wish everyone such a relationship."

From now on, you won't be let down, even though the season is over.

Dennis: "First of all, I want to feel free to walk in the street with her, hold hands, kiss in the restaurant. We have to ventilate the relationship, get out of the house together. Before the broadcast we traveled every weekend. To the sea, to the bait, to Kibbutz Maagan Michael, to the north, to Kinneret. Feeling that knowing me and knowing details about me, also personal, it gives someone strength or a balance in my life. For better or worse I manage that it won't really touch me. "

It took you a while to tell you that you love her. Two months from the end of filming.

"Such a statement is a commitment, and I wanted it to come when it matured and to be true. Without my back to the wall, but at the moment when I'm completely whole. It's not for the cameras anymore, but for us."

The two of you did not have a complete family unit and function as children. This may make it harder down the road?

"So what? It doesn't mean I don't have the tools for it. I know where I aspire and I know what family I want and don't need a role model for it or anything else. I know I want a family with a lot of kids, to be very loved and to love my wife of all the heart".

Citrus: "We both didn't have a functioning and complete family unit, but we both want exactly that. For a lot of kids, I say let's get one child and see what's next. I don't want to commit to a number of kids, because it seems a bit naive to commit to things I can't Still understand. "

Dennis: "From now on, we do not run according to filming times. We will not run at the pace of the program viewers, but at our own pace. I understand the desire for the end. I want the end most."

lanskinam@gmail.com

Source: israelhayom

All news articles on 2020-06-12

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