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2020-06-20T21:30:04.751Z


| You sat downMother doesn't believe you sit with gay and lesbian at one table, daughter doesn't believe in equality with man • Get Martin and Abishag, the stars of the "winning kitchen" Avishag Mizrahi (right) and Martin Biton. "Gay, not gay - it doesn't matter to us. You are the Creator of Gd, and we love them all." Photo:  Kfir Ziv After 15 years as a journalist, it was the first time I was hit in the i...


Mother doesn't believe you sit with gay and lesbian at one table, daughter doesn't believe in equality with man • Get Martin and Abishag, the stars of the "winning kitchen"

  • Avishag Mizrahi (right) and Martin Biton. "Gay, not gay - it doesn't matter to us. You are the Creator of Gd, and we love them all."

    Photo: 

    Kfir Ziv

After 15 years as a journalist, it was the first time I was hit in the interview. It happened just after two hours of a pleasant interview, as well as with the stars of "MKR conducting kitchen," Martin Bitton and Avishag Mizrahi, at Abishag's home in southern Tel Aviv.

Our connection was immediate. For a moment I felt that I was in the traditional "on fire" of Independence Day, with the extended family. Everything flowed, until the moment the conversation rolled out to the LGBT community, and one moment I was back in my mother's heartbreaking cry as I left the closet in 2005.

"This is a halakhic problem for us," Martin ruled, adding that Abishag added: "But the matter is not halakhah. You say to yourself, 'What are the chances of me sitting with a gay and lesbian couple at one table now?' And here it happened on the show, and you tell yourself, the demon is not that bad. "

Martin: "When you see the man, you realize he has gone to this place of necessity. I have seen Mark and Alex (a couple of gay participants in the current season; HS), and I think each of them individually can be with a girl, and that is the most flowing to me." .

But that is not their tendency.

Martin: "I'm not in their heart and I don't know what's going on. I did accept them as they are, I respect their way, but disagree with her. When God created this world, he created us as husband and wife."

Avishag: "There is no argument that this is their attraction, and I believe them, but I know that is not true. It is not the right thing. For me, it just means that you have a harder job to get married to a woman."

I'm gay, what's wrong with me that's right for you?

Martin: "It has not yet caught me in awareness that you can live like this. It is not easy to accept it, you have to remember that this is my first time meeting gay, which is not a normal thing for me. I can tell you that once I saw you, I liked you, and now that you said To me you are like that, it didn't matter to me. "

Avishag: "Some will say that gays and lesbians have a mental disorder. I really don't think so. There are some extreme people who could go out on the production and complain that they sat us together, but we got along really well. My mother even congratulated Alex and Mark on having a child."

***

It was impossible not to fall in love with Martin and her daughter Avishag on screen. A pair of conquering religions that open up to the world, and when they discover their way of life and their narrow, conservative worldview - have added value to their decision to reach reality.

Martin (57) was born in Tunis. Her family immigrated to Israel and settled in Ashkelon when Martin was 4. She lives in the city to this day, is married to peace (59), and they have eight children - three sons and five daughters: Jonathan (39), who was the sixth season finale of "Master Chef" in 2016, Hanan (36), Shani (33), Inbal (29), Rafael (28), Avishag (26), Shilat (20) and Hodaya (19). Martin is the grandmother of 14 grandchildren, the oldest of whom is 15.

She knew her husband when she was 15, a complete secular, "He was my neighbor, and fortunately, I got stuck with no money to go to work. I knocked on his door and saw a young 17-year-old guy." "I'll get you back in the evening." He threw my wallet and said, "Take as much as you need."

"We got to know each other slowly and we started talking, but at the same time I had a relationship with another guy. My mom told me, 'You know, this guy you talk to, I really love him.' He started courting me again, until one day he came and said Me: "I love you very much, and you have to decide." I told him I would think about it, and the next day I told him I was done with that guy. "

A year later, at the age of 16, she married peace, who came from a Haredi home. At 17, she had already become a mother. "It was a time of immigration from Georgia, people who got married at a very young age, and I probably identified with them," she laughs. "But you know that my wedding was one of the most amazing weddings."

Why?

"We got married in a hotel with the Golden Fingers band from Ashdod, and who had money in those days to bring them?"

Avishag: "All this investment, and half of the wedding had power outages."

Martin: "In the middle of the canopy, the electricity fell, and everything was dark. I was pressed, I said 'Wow, what will be?' The second Shalom said to me, 'You are sacred to me' - boom, the light comes on. "

After the wedding, she began to approach religion. "At the time, they would broadcast an Arab movie every Friday, and I couldn't give it up. My husband would come back from the synagogue, and I would tell him, 'I need a few more minutes until it's over.' He would wait for me, and we would make kiddos and eat dinner.

"Over the years, I realized it was a bit disrespectful, and when the husband returns from the synagogue, he should be given a table of holiness and dedication. So I gave up on the film. At this point I started to observe Shabbat. My husband told me: 'When you observe the Sabbath, there is a blessing for the couple.' We had a blessing. "

You became a mother at a very young age. Are you sorry about that?

"No, but I wouldn't want my girls getting married at such a young age as I am."

What did you make a living from?

"After we got married, Shalom joined Golani, and I got pregnant. I told myself, why did I get married? To stay alone? Even though it was his dream, he left and moved on to become a clerk.

"We had a respectable salary because he was married with a child, and I worked in housekeeping and stair cleaning and every casual and respectable job. After he was released, he enlisted in the Border Police. I also worked and raised three or four children, and there were whole weeks that he never came home and had no help. Working in a household is not easy, but at least I had liquid money. And Law # 1: There is no day that there was no pot in the house. "

You both cooked and worked outside?

"If I worked late, I would come home and open a baguette with tuna, hard-boiled egg and eggplant to calm their hunger. After an hour, they would come and ask what about the food, because they would have to cook a pot of peas or whatever. But they ate all the food fathers. I raised them from all goodness, and with love. "

Avishag: "A full stomach, a cozy home, a clean home and nutritious food. Not all the luxuries there are today. The standard of living and lifestyle were different, with one TV channel."

Martin: "There was a television antenna, and what she got - that's what they saw. The children were content with little and no demands, but my husband wanted to give them what he did not get. There is no such thing as a child asking for something and he will not give it to him. Jonathan getting branded clothes. "

Have you planned for eight children?

"My husband wanted a large family, I didn't want so many children. Everyone would bring a maximum of four children then, which I brought up and raised - no such families today."

Were there rules in the house?

"It was important to speak the truth and respect each other. None of the children made me any problems. There were struggles like every family, and don't forget I was a mother when I was a girl."

***

In the ninth month of the seventh pregnancy, she felt bad and was placed in urgent cesarean because of fetal distress.

"I said to myself, 'I'm undergoing surgery now, giving birth to the seventh child, and I don't want any more children.' I told the midwife: 'I have seven children and my pregnancies are very difficult. I ask you to tie the trumpets, but my husband is not here.'" He said to me: 'This is your decision', and I signed.

“After giving birth to Shilat, 4,390kg, I tied the trumpets to me. My husband came into the recovery room, excited. I said to him, "Mommy, I tied the trumpets," and he was in shock. He said: 'I know how hard it is for you, but I share in this life.' He wouldn't accept it, but it already happened and there was nothing to do. "

At what point did you cover your head and become religious?

"After Shilat's birth, my father passed away. I thought about what I could do to lift his soul and decided to take on strength and modesty. It also worked out with my lifestyle at home. I remember my brother, who was religious, came and asked after seven if I stayed And I told him he did. He said to me, "You'll be pregnant soon." I said to him: "See you? I tied the trumpets. It can't happen."

"A few months later, my cycle was delayed. After two months of being late, I went with the girl to a health fund, and on the way I told the doctor. He said: 'No way you're pregnant, but do a urine test.' The test came out negative. I came to do a blood test. I stood at a health fund and said to him: "Creator of the world, give me what kind of experience you want, but not another one of them. I can't anymore. I'm with seven kids, and only 37. I did the test and went home .

"In the evening my GP called me. Tells me: 'Martin, what do you want the answer to be?' I said to him: 'Negative.' So he says: 'Congratulations, you're pregnant.'

"My husband came home, and he was happy and happy to the sky. He said to me: 'When you linked the trumpets, I was not happy with this decision. We are two, but he (point out above) is our partner, and he decided that this girl should come to this world." Then Hoodia was born. "

How did the birth go?

"This time it was a pre-determined surgery. On Sunday I went to the hospital, and my husband demanded that a specialist doctor do the surgery for me to see how they happened to tie the trumpets and yet I became pregnant. When the doctor came out of the surgery, she told my husband: 'You got a girl as well as you Your wife as a gift because your wife carried her with a rupture in the uterus. "This time they didn't take a chance and cut the trumpets."

***

Avishag dreamed of continuing in her mother's ways. At 18, she knew her partner, and after three months they were already under the canopy.

"It seemed the most promising in the world. When I knew him, I felt Aralla from the Lottery rang to tell me I won. He was successful, with a classic answer, and I came from an innocent, devoted, inexperienced place. The dream was to continue my mother's tradition - getting married young, cooking meals , That the house be clean, and make as many children as possible, have a pot, and when the husband comes, pamper him through the food and be the submissive wife for him. "

Martin: "The man in the house is the head of the family."

Avishag: "The spiritual aspect is that the woman is here to help her husband. She is for him and for him, and the more she is for him and for him, the more empowering she is. I have lived knowing that I am the woman, the dream of every man. Great, comes reserved and looks round. "

The wedding was a happy occasion. "I stand there excitedly, as if with ecstasy in my body with happiness. During the wedding I change two dresses and two hairstyles. I was complete and confident that I have a million dollars in hand. I wholeheartedly know that we will not succeed. We were a couple outside just look and be jealous.

"But the day after, the problems started already. I realized that was not what I expected and not what I imagined. There were many differences of opinion that lost proportions, cultural gaps. I felt that I couldn't express myself, that I was living a lie, that I was losing myself. Not what I dreamed, it's not what I saw at home. "

Martin: "Me and my husband felt that something was wrong. We saw the change that was taking place. I told him: 'I wish I was wrong, but this is not our Abishag.' The day after the wedding I got a girl off. From week to week I saw something was going on, but she didn't tell us is nothing".

Avishag: "There were moments I said to myself, go take care of yourself. To this day, I sit and ask myself where I pumped the powers, where I had the powers to lift myself. I come from a religious but liberal home. It was a phase I grew stronger and anxious, we really wanted to succeed. , But we were not in a real place.

"In retrospect, I understand that wedding and family were great on us. We spent some time together, without touch, without compliments, very censored. I did everything about the blind, without awareness. I didn't ask myself the questions: Can you? Do you want to? Are you ready?

"Today, when I see repentance that is in the lights of the beginning, I feel sorry for them, where you are at all and where reality is. You are far from understanding where the Creator is at all."

Understanding that making the wrong choice crushed her. "Suddenly you are snatching a nose, which tells you, you are not, you are not, are you not. I looked in the mirror and said to myself, who am I? I was in terrible confusion. I cried at a level that I could fill the Sea of ​​Galilee. You have to marry only one for life, and how to give myself to someone else and expose myself to them.

"And not only that - I had a three-year self-aggrandizement, which I told myself, stupid, what did you do, you had to stay there and keep that nest. And that's a distorted thought I got from home. She herself and this is her essence, but I'm not like her. I'm an opinionated woman, and I want to be something and not hide in the dishes.

Did you think what people would say when they heard you broke up?

"I was less interested in what they would say. I don't think of anyone except the Creator of the World."

Who did you share at this point?

"At first no one but the rabbinate who accompanied me in bridal guidance. I did not want to blacken my parents' heart about my husband, and I thought maybe things would work out. Then I also told my other sister, she is all diamond-studded heart. From there we went to my grandmother, mother of Mom, and we told her, because she was a very significant figure for us, and she had the energy to help people. She told me: 'You know it won't go on, but your eyes are bright, and you're pregnant.' I told her: 'Grandma, don't talk nonsense' " .

***

Two weeks after they separated, Avishag discovered that Jewish grandmother was right. "Everything happened fast. The wedding checks haven't come down yet, we haven't developed the pictures from the wedding yet," she says. "After I already left it and moved in with the parents, I felt something was happening. I told myself, no way is it right now. , And I got a positive answer. "

Did you hope it would bring you back?

"In my head there was a certain desire that we would come back, because no one wants to be a 19-year-old divorced girl with a child. But the gaps were so big that there was no chance.

"After I gave birth, I moved alone in a close-to-parents housing unit. Everyone was worried I would fall into postpartum depression, but this whole crisis strengthened me. During that time, I was not weakened by religion and did not take off my headgear. Because he became part of me. Avishag is worth coverage. "

How did your father respond to the divorce?

"You couldn't recognize him. My dad is a man, but inside he's a margarine. In life, we didn't see him cry. During the trial he would stand in front of me and cry. He would fall apart until he reached a position. My ex had a military background, and that He talked to my dad very much. I kept saying I wouldn't get married until my dad approved it, and he approved it. When we broke up, my dad felt like he messed up with me. How he didn't recognize the problems before the wedding. "

Martin: "We couldn't see Abishag in this way, it crushed us. But the girl's birth was the fix, which completed the puzzle for us. Today I have more sensitivity to this granddaughter than other grandchildren, because according to the Torah, even though her parents are alive, She is considered an orphan. As much as she has done for her, she has a missing place. "

The father is a partner in raising the girl?

Avishag: "Yes. He is an active father, a good father and a giver. We are in good touch, and there is mutual respect."

***

Six months after the divorce, Avishag met Eliran (now 37), "Husband of Teshuva, Dover and Coacher. A mutual friend gave him my number, but he didn't use it. After three months, he saw my picture in Wetsap and told himself, Mami This one is mine, but it is with a head covering.

"Did a 12-year-old kid trick and sent a message saying the boy was playing on the phone. We started talking, and I realized he was divorced with three kids. When he told me he was a coworker, I sent a photo to my girlfriend and I told her: 'Matchmaking - I want life coaching "There was a crazy connection there."

Martin: "They wanted her full of bachelors, but she didn't want to."

Avishag: "It's nothing to do with me. Don't get me talking, Mommy."

Didn't it deter you from being in Chapter Two?

"It's also his second episode."

How did you feel when he offered you to get married?

"He didn't offer because it was obvious. On the first phone call, he told me: 'I don't need too much, let's meet, get married, and everything is fine.' The first time I met him, a few days after we spoke, I got stuck in my ear and I told friends My: 'I met my husband'. "

Were you not afraid to get married again?

"I told myself, I am young, I have had a difficult relationship, but none of the bachelors I went with understood me to the end. I felt like they were doing me a favor. With Eliran there was a true, genuine connection. We identified ourselves, we came from the same experience and place."

Martin: "We first met him in Sukkot in 2016, which was the most natural thing in the world. My husband also loved him very much."

Eight months after they met, Avishag and Eliran were married. They moved to southern Tel Aviv. Since then, they have had two daughters: Carmel, 2 years old, and Nessia, four months old. "We call her MKR, because she was in her stomach all the time."

Why try it?

"I was on the road to my sister's alliance, on road # 4, and the guy in front of me suddenly brake and collided. It was two days before the ninth month started, and the belt was locked on my lower abdomen. I started bleeding, and began a placental separation. I was flown to the hospital and put immediately into the operating room. Nessia was born - God's miracle. "

So with your husband and two girls, do you feel you have been compensated for the past few years?

"Far beyond that. I believed that after what I went through, I deserved someone good, but I didn't expect that good. My husband is the first man I knew who didn't have a drop of ego. I never raised my voice, never mouthed. It's every woman's dream.

"His children come to us twice a week and every second Saturday. I'm really good with them, they are brothers of my children."

***

The first offer to participate in the "Winning Kitchen MKR" (Rainbow 12, every evening after the news) came to Inbal, Abishag's sister, whose husband runs the Shawarma restaurant. Inbal called her mother and offered to join her in the program.

Martin: "I told her I had to ask Dad, because it's an exposure nonetheless."

Avishag: "Because you've been used to life like this."

Martin: "There's nothing to do, we're fixated."

Avishag: "It's not a fix, it's a fear of trying to dare."

Martin: "My eldest son, June, recommended that Abel give up on Abishag's participation. In the end, she gave up because the photographs fell exactly on her birth."

Avishag: "Inbal offered me and very pargana, but atonement for her, she keeps telling my mother, 'If I and I were together, we would do well too.'

Martin: "I was very scared of the exposure. On the other hand, I told myself that I have the opportunity here to fulfill a dream that my reality has not allowed me. All my life I was raised, cared for, fed - who ever thought of it. Look at Ruth Broado. She is an empire of restaurants, And I am nothing. She is at peace with what she is doing and I am at peace with what I have done. But what is her downside and what is my advantage? I can be a restaurateur, but she, God forbid without hurting her, cannot be a mother anymore. "

Avishag: "For Ruthie, her restaurants are her children. These are different approaches and choices. God forbid that we did not come out saying something bad about her."

Martin: "God forbid, we love her very much. Because we're the same age and we went a different way, she looked at me admirably. She told me: 'Does your husband know he lives with God? Your kids need to kiss your feet, and it's very important that they hear This is it (laughs).

Avishag: "I kiss her head all the time. Mother is a character for admiration and imitation. The dream of the grooms in the family is that we will all become Martin."

Martin: "I have five married daughters, and my sons-in-law say to them: 'You will not come near one of your mother's.' But one day they will be like me."

***

On Monday this week, Martin and Abishag broke into public awareness as they hosted the season's participants in the Morro Altero restaurant, Mamu's Restaurant. You couldn't help but fall in love with their motivation, motivation and dynamics.

Martin: "I said that if my son came in second place in Master Chef, then obviously we would win. But at the time of filming for the show, we realized it was something else entirely."

Which pair did you get along less well with?

Avishag: "Even Ophir, who opened up to everyone, I'm sick of her. You know people there who you would never meet. When would we be able to meet a gay couple at the same table?"

How do I deal with vegetarianism?

Martin: "Vegetables are a salad for us, and how can we just eat vegetables? How can a person swear it if there is no meat? My husband's hobby, from the day he was born, is meat, meat, meat. His father was butchered."

Avishag: "According to the Torah concept, the cow doesn't feel anything when the knife goes down her throat.

Ever thought of trying vegetarianism?

"If it ever goes through my head, it will only be because of my husband. On Sundays we try not to eat meat, to cleanse the body after the weekend."

On the one hand, there are therefore very old fashioned sides that do not match the period. On the other hand, you will star in reality.

Martin: "None of us are disgruntled or frustrated. When we put our heads on the pillow, everything is done by choice and love. I'm not sorry for anything, but if I could turn the wheel back, I would take a driver's license. Being dependent on my husband with the car, I see women older than me, without any sense, and having a license, that's something I missed.

"Today I want to fulfill dreams that I missed. As if God was coming and telling me, 'Come on and fulfill your dreams.' I have done nothing in life. But my children are a blessing. Blessed are God, I have won."

What are your ambitions after the program?

"Make it a central activity, but not a restaurant. Workshops, cooking for people, catering for private events."

Avishag: "I want to work with a bride one on one. Teach her things from the kitchen and give her life tips because I think I have something to give. I think food is one of the best ways to appease a man, to talk to him, and to raise compliments for yourself."

How did your owners react when you told them you were going to TV?

Martin: "With all due respect to the primitive Moroccan, it just flies to the sky. All our photography that comes out, it sends to groups and friends."

Avishag: "My husband waited for a moment for me to go and do something for myself, and he was supportive and supportive. He very much believes in a woman's home, but wants me to succeed, to do something to fill me. He knows that I am all day doing with the kids and the house, and I must do something for myself too. With you (addressing her mother) Dad just made sure to bring you gold and clothes because you didn't do it for yourself. "

Martin: "My husband said, 'After everything you've been through all these years, I support you today, go do anything that will do you any good.'" We were left alone at home, and alas if we didn't give ourselves or have fun. Today we are for each other, and I am also very Take care of myself. Today I say: 'First of all I, then I, and finally - I'. "

You talked earlier about wanting to empower the husband. Do you even think that way today?

Avishag: "Yes, but from a completely different place. A woman is a woman in her own right, and she has her strengths. In this world, the most beautiful creation is a woman. Believes in equality and I'm not looking to make my man the one to do the dishes and spill the garbage, just to say we're worth it.

"My strong side is cleanliness and cooking. I also have a scratch that the clothes will be folded the way I like it, and if you don't know how to fold, don't approach it."

Already have fantasies of imitation in "Wonderful Land"?

Avishag: "My father was on Shavuot and swore: 'I am not called Hello Biton if there is no imitation in a wonderful country.'

Who will imitate you?

Avishag: "Me - the one who does 'Builder of the World', Liat Har Lev."

Martin: "Maybe me an actor, maybe Tal Friedman."

Just before we break up, they want to make sure they haven't hurt me. "Come here or my house in Ashkelon, and I'll make whatever you want," Martin says. "With an article, without an article, gay, not gay - it doesn't matter to us. You are the Creator of Gd, and we love them all." 

erans@israelhayom.co.il

Source: israelhayom

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