We are moderately aware of what it means to live with a disability that conditions your life from the time you get up until you go to bed. But we don't always fall for all your needs. We know that it is very difficult to overcome obstacles in the cities; We understand that buildings are accessible, but we rarely consider that these people, like everyone else, want and are wanted. These people do not have their diversity from time to time. It is not an ailment that happens sometimes. It is day to day with all its consequences. People with functional diversity, as well shown in the documentary Yes, We Fuck , look for ways to satisfy their own desires and those of the people they love.
But this, sometimes, affects third parties.
"My father always had the regret that he was driving when we had the accident that left me in the wheelchair."Amancio has been in that chair for more years than walking. He was 12 years old when C4 broke. A cervical that, when broken, paralyzed his legs. "His relationship with me is strange. He always wants to please me. He always worries that I am fine. Maybe too much, because he is not responsible for what happened to me, but he feels the burden on him." So Amancio was not surprised when his father asked him, when he turned 17, if he wanted me to pay him for the services of a prostitute. "It caught me by surprise because I was not expecting it. Obviously, I knew what sex was. I knew that my sexuality was different, but I was just discovering it. a kid who is spoiled. " Amancio's father made this offer with all the good intentions in the world, but he did not know how to facilitate the sexuality of his son.
MORE INFORMATION
Macron opens the debate on sexual aid to disabled people
Functional diversity: sex with help
"Having a sexual assistant has reconciled me to my body"
People with functional diversity need a specific accompaniment when considering their sexuality. "We try to make all processes go through the body. For each person with a different body, a different sexuality, a different mindset and a different desire to experience in their own being everything they want." Charo Ricart is in charge of sexualidadfuncional.es. Doctor, sexologist and with a functional diversity that prevents her from reaching all parts of her body with her hands, certifies that sexuality is personal and non-transferable. Every case is a world. "People who are born with a malformation grow with it," he stresses. "What makes us also learn to give ourselves pleasure. Touching ourselves, caressing the parts we reached, we leave the coitocentric sex to learn other types of sexualities in which, perhaps, the genitals that you do not reach, are not the most important to your pleasure, "he explains.
Masturbators for people with functional diversity, as such, there are hardly any. Some brands advertise very easy-to-use models, similar to the mythical Hitachi magic band, a massager with a resounding success in the television shop. We do find a specific model of chair, Intimate Rider, which makes it easier to have sex, using rocking movements. Once the erection problem is pharmacologically solved, mobility with the partner is guaranteed. But beyond that, few. Precisely because each body is different, that makes us diverse, masturbators should also be. But that does not only happen with people with functional diversity. Who more and who less has a very successful model in his head that was a real failure in his case. I, for example, do not get the grace of the clitoris sucker, I feel it. And look I have tried ...
The chair for sexual relations of people with little mobility
Ana Alonso Caballo, a psychologist, insists on the need that it is not the relatives of the person with functional diversity who are responsible for satisfying their sexuality. "I would start with the obligation. Obligation, obviously, there is not. People with functional diversity have the right to enjoy their life as completely as possible and, therefore, we adapt life to make it more comfortable for them. They have the right to enjoy of sexual life, but without it being an obligation for their relatives. " A third person is the solution. Finding that third person is complicated, because the subject of sexual assistants is not easy. While France tries to find accommodation for this job outside of prostitution, in Spain, only a few associations worry about it. Asistenciasexual.org is one. To think that everything is already achieved is a mistake: sexual assistants must be paid for their work, which limits their assistance to those who have money.
Once again, pleasure and satisfaction, only for a few.
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