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The coronavirus pandemic has changed the way we understand life. It has forced us to restructure our priorities. The individual change of each citizen has been evident, we have done it. Now, moreover, it has become clear that without the help of those who command, society will not be able to rebuild itself in an equitable way, in which everyone can carry out their work under the best of conditions. And, in this equation, parents with children cannot be forgotten, because not everyone can work, because not everyone can pay for a caregiver. In this situation of uncertainty, doubt always arises, will we learn from this tremendous experience or will we continue the same?
"When stressful situations like this occur, such as this coronavirus pandemic that we are experiencing, the structures that we have are very shaky and the things that were not well built from the beginning, which by design are not fair or equitable, are the first that they have collapsed and have shown that it was poorly built, ”explains Izanami Martínez, an anthropologist expert in human behavior and author of the book Vivir Notox (HarperCollins, 2020). "The social belief that we have of professionalism, how we have assembled our private life, is something that this health crisis has shown as totally unsustainable." According to Martínez, with all this situation we have realized that life is not designed to work and have children.
QUESTION . Is reconciliation a weakness?
ANSWER . At a historical moment it was decided that bringing food to the home was the most respectable thing. And we women have lived that a lot. If you want to be a socially respectable person, you have to have a profession. That of staying as a housewife, was very frowned upon. And what's more, as soon as you do well professionally, the first thing many people do is hire someone to care for children. And I believe that this has changed in this crisis, we have all realized the paradigm that unites biology and culture. With those I have spoken to who have not been struck by the pandemic with any loss, be it personal or work, the conversation has always been the same: it has been exhausting, but we have enjoyed a lot of the children and now we even go out less and spend more family time. And this is because we are biologically incentivized. Caring for our young is a source of happiness, we have reconnected with that part of who we are. And we have also realized that changing diapers, for example, was a derogatory thing, and we have realized that it is one more part and that it is very respectable.
Q. What have been the parents' problems in reconciling?
R. Notice that the word we use is to reconcile and to reconcile means to reconcile two things that are exclusive, two things that are contrary. And we have built a society in which work, family and friends, real life, are mutually exclusive. So when we have been forced to reconcile it, we have exploded. For example, the worst thing I carried was guilt. I would go to bed and think that I had not been well with my children, nor had I finished everything I had to do at work. The identity crisis that encompasses all this: that I am not a good mother nor am I a good professional or friend, nor do I take care of myself because I have not done the yoga class and on top of that I am a bad citizen because I have not come out to applaud ... It has brought us a lot suffering.
Q. Can you get something good out of all this pressure?
A. Indeed, there has been immense pressure on us and us, on people who have built ourselves to be socially acceptable and this has collided in this pandemic because there is no place for everything. Despite this, I believe that we are in a super-cute vital moment. This is all an opportunity. We have the chance that when everything is destroyed, we can start thinking about how we want to build from now on. As an anthropologist I am enthusiastic, and also crying over the social situation, but it is a huge opportunity to do things. Social beliefs are always evolving. For example, very recently women could not have a bank account or because you were gay you were sick, and it was not. We have evolved. But when there is a crisis of these, the good thing is that you have the opportunity, that, from one side to the other, all this change of beliefs is accelerated.
Q. But, in this pandemic, has the change been abrupt?
R . Yes and historically every abrupt change has led to change. After World War II, see how feminism, how women, entered the workforce or changed the way they dressed. All these world crises have been the door to great transformations, towards the good, but also towards the bad. Remember, for example, that after the First World War, on the other hand, Hitler suddenly came out, and we all think that the bad guys were the Jews and there were very good people who believed it and even reinforced it. We now have the historic opportunity for each of us, with social networks, to accelerate this much more, that our voice can go further. And, returning to the subject of conciliation, why not instead of trying to reconcile two things that are exclusive, we do not begin to live in an integrated way all the aspects of our life.
Q. Integrate, how?
A. Yes, integrate, understand that I am a mother, I am a friend and I am a worker, learn how to build my life so that all the things that I am or do have a place without guilt. To integrate, we have already taken the step as a society that work is not justified either by appearances or by the hours we spend in the office. That professionalism is measured in results and in the value we bring to our company. And this is not in any way incompatible with having children or having elderly people to take care of, having pets or having a hobby . It has nothing to do with it.
P. Can the individual integrate alone or does he need help from abroad, from the Government, for example?
A. The great revolutions always start from the individual. And in this pandemic we are all pushing very hard and suddenly that belief that we had that to be a professional you had to work long hours and somewhere, this has already gone to hell. Companies have verified for good or for bad that people working fewer hours achieved the same. Individual to individual, that, for example, we have managed to change. Now, the process would be much accelerated and would be much less painful, obviously, if both public and private institutions, the Government is slower, without taking away their share of responsibility, they respond to this.
Q. Will teleworking be a reality for the benefit of conciliation?
A. For example, technology companies have done so, they have closed their offices. We are very used to working for results, for those in the digital sector there has been less cultural friction because we are already used to working in this way. I think we are leading this issue. But the problem comes with those who do not have this option, we are talking about the one with a store or a restaurant, for example. In these cases, and if there is another confinement, we should rethink care. Rethink whether bars should be opened before parks; and wondering that it is very good that we have to produce, that it is economically necessary, but we must be able to produce without leaving people on the road, both men and women who have to quit their job to stay at home, how do we do it? we make? How do we reorder priorities?
Q. How would you help the sectors most affected by this situation, for possible future confinement?
A. If we want to save the country's productive fabric, it is not enough to open the bars and open the restaurants. We must also allow it to return to activity, in a way in which we all return. That to return, having or not having children, is not something decisive. Because if not what they are doing is favoring that they can return to productive activity or those without children or those who can afford to have a caregiver. But this is not inclusive. And nothing equitable.
Q. The role of children in this pandemic?
A. I think they have given us an incredible adaptation lesson. But they have been the great forgotten. I believe that the authorities have been very concerned about the health and economic aspects, but they are not realizing that if they really want to alleviate the economic and social crisis, they must take into account children and their caregivers, because if they deny their existence, getting out of this crisis will be very uneven.
Q. The uncertainty of the children and the school?
A. Uncertainty is normal. We have not ended the pandemic, and when we return from our vacation we will continue in it. Children have been shown to have a low incidence, and mortality is very low, and the bubble system - limited groups of students - that experts have proposed is a good idea epidemiologically. The rulers should keep in mind that as a control measure it is easier to follow up on a class of 20 children if there is an outbreak, than to do it in a bar, for example, because you do not know who has sat with whom.
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