How can a NIS 2,000 salary be divided between shopping at the supermarket, her mortgage and school payments? • Three mothers share their stories during this challenging period • Special
"I want to breathe," Karen says in a strangled voice.
Every day she returns to her home in Migdal Haemek from hours of hard work in a company that provides therapeutic assistance to adults and children with special needs.
At home, her three children are waiting for her, two of them in elementary school age and the youngest is 3 and a half years old.
For three years now she has been divorced and almost alone takes care of the maintenance of the home economy, using a minimum wage and alimony money transferred to her by her ex-husband.
Photo: Courtesy of Tachlit Organization
Only this year the corona arrived and loaded it with another unusual load of expenses and hassles.
In recent months her salary has been reduced and she is dealing with property tax debts ("I end up paying but not on time"), while at the same time having to figure out how to divide her meager amounts between rent, school payments and food purchases.
Recently, the father of her children has stopped transferring alimony and in the background also echoes the difficulty of the closure.
"The older children still understand the situation," she shares, "but the little one, 3 and a half years old, does not understand that you can not buy her anything except the simple cookie. By and large, all the expenses are on me. I shut up and deal."
She adds: "I do not give up. I try to survive from day to day. I can not sit and cry. To get a minimum wage, I work from 08:00 to 16:00, and if I had the opportunity to work more - I would do it." .
She is dealing with all the pressures alone.
Her father lives alone in Arad ("he is undergoing major surgeries, but we can not go to him"), her mother left for Russia before the outbreak of the corona and has one brother who lives in the northern region with his family, "and he," she says, "works hard."
Her children of frustration are also felt by her children, who are trying, in their own way, to alleviate her.
"They still ask me to buy them games, but are waiting patiently," she says.
"My daughter had a birthday last Passover. I did not invite her friends. Everything was closed and I could hardly find a place to buy her a gift. We celebrated at home and she received a gift and a cake. But even without the corona, I do not know if I could give more. Maybe I would buy some "Snacks and drinks. It hurts. I want my children to feel like all the children they deserve."
And what will happen in the closure?
"I try not to think about it," Karen says.
There's another scenario she's trying to distract from her thoughts: "I know no one will do things in my place. One day I told my ex that I was not feeling well, so he said to me, 'Keren, if anything happens to you - I can not deal with three children.' "He did not laugh, he is a person with mental problems. I realized then that if something happened to me - my children would be left alone in the world."
In the midst of the great distress, Keren received a recommendation to contact the "Tachlit" organization, which, among other things, assists in food packages for the needy.
"I do not have time to do everything, it is difficult for me alone," she says.
"They bring me food to the house. Sometimes I do not know how long the food will last, but at least it calms me down that I will not have to run much.
"I do not have a good salary, so I can not buy delicacies or diversify meals, and children sometimes feel like a little sweet."
The help from "Purpose" also allows her to save some money to occasionally buy sweets for her children.
And the foundation does not currently have great demands on life.
The only thing she dreams about is a vacation with the kids.
"I want to take them on a three-day vacation," she says, hoping she can one day break the frustrating routine between home and work.
"I did not know how to help someone else - I got a headache"
Efrat Rachel Memo from Beitar Illit, divorced and a mother of five, is one of thousands who apply to the organization.
Shortly before the corona began to spread in Israel, she was fired from a position she held for 14 years.
"I was a distribution manager with an attached vehicle, I snatched a market," she shares.
"I have experience in practical work and a big head and charisma, but the market also needs a degree. In all of this, I landed into the corona, and when big chains fall - who needs you at all in this circle?"
Memo found herself in an ongoing struggle with her large mortgage left on the house she and her ex-husband had purchased before the divorce, and Parnos of the five children - the eldest aged 12 and a half and the youngest five years old.
On the advice of companies, she turned to aid organizations and allowed herself to get some outside support.
"It was clear to me that I had to stand up for myself and not just rely on people," she says.
"Anyone who knows me knows that getting help is far from me. It's something I got at home - not getting help, just living with yourself."
She recently found a job as a usher in a marketing network.
"I'm not spoiled, but from a job with good conditions to land to work in those conditions, it's mentally difficult," she shares.
"They brought me for only three hours. A salary of NIS 2,000. I thought I would just set foot, but the corona stopped life."
About the moment she realized she had to ask for help she says: "There are no words to describe such a situation. I am a perfectionist. In the past, even in the great freedom when the previous year's payments were over, I would pay all the checks for next year. Everything was sweet. I will deviate from something. "
The first time she learned to be supported by others was close to her divorce.
"At the time of the divorce, I was in the beginning of the pregnancy, in the third-fourth month. The whole pregnancy went through in parallel with the process," she recalls.
"He left home. I was left with four little ones, how am I going to give birth? The eldest twins were 7. Ask me if I have a neighbor to help. But how do I tell someone to come help me with the kids? I did not know how to help someone else. I got a headache. ".
She said after the birth she suffered from anxiety attacks that led her to NLP treatment, during which she began to understand the significance of getting help.
"The caregiver told me, 'As much as you are happy to help - understand that the other wants to help you out of a sense of respect, a willingness to help,'" Memo says.
"I'm still in internalization. Trying to survive alone."
And the children?
"They understand the wind in the air," she says.
But despite the financial burden, Memo is doing everything she can to cheer them up: "I cheer for them. With all the competition in fashion, trying to find brands for them in the market, I found them pants there for NIS 20. I do not give myself the legitimacy to enter the mall. Adults, 12 and a half years old, although the religious-ultra-Orthodox population, but also come to school with brands and my children want to too.
"You try to calm your conscience. You feel guilty and want to make up for it, that they will feel good. I do not remember when I bought myself a garment. Even so, I make sure to look good on the outside. I will not let anyone see that I am poor."
And Memo does not give up.
During her current job, she continues to submit a resume, with the goal of finding a job that will allow her, among other things, to prepare for the bar mitzvah celebration of her two older children that is expected to take place this coming February.
"I do not know where to start and where to end, but I want to fulfill that dream for them," she adds.
To this must be added the debt that Memmo has been holding for two years in payments to schools.
In a conversation with the school principal, she shared with him her plight.
"I said to him, 'Yours, the principal. I'm about to collapse. What's more important - the payment for school or the cottage and the milk the children will eat in the morning? Where do you put yourself? What are your priorities?'
He asked me what could be done. I told him, 'Take the kids out. Help me financially with the food, are you talking to me about school?' "
During this period, Memo says, there are two things that instill strength in her.
"If not for my faith and children, I would have fallen long ago," she says.
"When I see the smile they have on their faces - I know I have something to get up for in the morning. I live in the belief that tomorrow will be a better day.
"Does anyone know when the corona will end and disappear? No data. No one knows what will happen tomorrow morning. I knew that after 14 years I would suddenly be out of work, I knew I would get divorced? I got a lot of headaches. One day I got up in the morning and said to myself, 'First be a mother.' I will fight for the children, who will have the perfect life.I have faith in the Creator of the world who will help me, but at the same time I am very active.
"In a life like this, there are two options - either to give up and dig in the past or see the situation and calculate what can be done to create a better life. First of all, I accept my life as it is at the moment. At the same time, I examine what I can do to stand. Myself on my feet.and I keep the joy of life, because if she disappears - went on me and the kids.So what did I do about it? I need to be a mother who is at peace with herself, smiling and happy.
"Everyone has crises. In moments like this, I put songs on full-volume, it lifts my mood and the mood of the kids for a few minutes - and we move on to another new day."
"I do not know how I will stand in the future"
The food baskets from "Tachlit" have been received by Sarit from Jerusalem for three years.
According to her, in the past she lived with her mother and went through a bankruptcy process.
She currently works at a library in the city and lives in a small housing unit with her 12-and-a-half-year-old daughter.
"I'm alone with her," she says.
"She has a father, but he does not pay alimony and my salary is not enough to cover all the payments - rent, health insurance, school, food."
Sarit notes that in addition to the financial burden, she is lonely in the campaign also due to disconnection from most of her family members.
"I have a real existential fear," she says.
"I do not know how I will stand in the Knesset.
I have no money to pay rent and I can no longer return to my mother's house. "
However, Sarit says that she tries to give her daughter as much as possible despite the shortage.
"She knows I was bankrupt, but she's not missing anything. She's not aware of the depth of the difficulties."
What purchases do you avoid?
"I do not buy everything I want at the supermarket. If there is a cheese she wants that costs 20 shekels - I will not buy it. I take down fruit and also meat."
Following the bankruptcy, Sarit does not have a credit line that allows her to spread out payments.
Because of this, she avoids various purchases for the house and does not send her daughter to classes.
"We live in a one-and-a-half-room house and sleep in the same bed," she says.
"My heart aches, but I can not afford more than that."
To contact the "Purpose" organization and for more details: * 6031 or on the website - https://www.tachlit.org.il
