The main thing that the child enjoys Israel today

Instead of competing with other parents, isn't it better to celebrate an intimate birthday with a child who truly loves him?

• Dad's voice tries to make sense of madness

1

six days apart.

The estimated date of birth the doctors gave us for him was the same as my date of birth, but just like his father, Oddi is in no hurry to get anywhere.

We usually manage to celebrate our birthdays separately (assuming you consider ordering sushi for the celebration), but this year, because of the closure, everything got mixed up.  

Last Wednesday, just before the last exit to the frames (the best minds will still pursue the rationale behind bringing forward the closure of the education system by one day), the children were informed that Dad has a birthday.

They looked quite surprised, because Dad's face did not look particularly festive, and neither did the house.

Naama asked if adults did not like decorations, and encouraged only anger at the fact that there is again a birthday that is not his. 

I wanted to tell him that usually on this day we pay attention to things we could not achieve, that an adult's birthday is at all a time for mental reckoning, and that this mental reckoning only gets longer as our lives get shorter, but instead I just promised him I would buy him a talking dinosaur on the upcoming birthday.

It worked, because two minutes later he was already sitting belted in the car, singing the anthem of the Beer Tuvia Regional Council.

Now all I have left to do is find him a talking dinosaur.

with my birthday thoughts, assuring myself that this year I would do things differently, while I get off the Doritos Texas Grill bag in front of the TV.

I absorbed the plethora of greetings that came on Facebook and WhatsApp (was a birthday greeting written on WhatsApp really written?), And like every year, I spent that day in thoughts. 

I have never been one of those people who celebrates their birthday too loudly.

For me it has always been more of a day of gathering.

But when you have children ages 4 and 6, gatherings for introspection can not be a significant part of your life.

And really, on this particular day the kids came home earlier, the house was filled with balloons and decorations, the fridge was filled with cakes (one for family, one for friends and one because fattening things always come in threes), and the head was filled with those noises parents learn to live with.

After a few minutes of all this usual suffering, the partner said that actually, when she thinks about it now, tomorrow is our last chance to celebrate a birthday cheer before closing, and so the whole second half of my birthday became a hopeless chase after all the necessary ingredients for a birthday Of a 4-year-old boy.  

There are quite a few such elements, as you can probably guess, but somehow we met the task, and the next day we already had a proper birthday in the yard, with foreign children to look after and everything.

It was (another) one of the hottest days of the year, and everything went hard.

But it was only at the end of the day, when some father I did not know came to pick up his child, that I realized how much. 

He looked at my sweaty face and smiled sympathetically.

"A lot of mess, eh?"

"Yeah, well, you know what it's like."

"Yes, there is nothing to do. The main thing that the child enjoyed. For them we live."

He took one of the surprise bags we had left for the children at the exit, got into the car with his son and hurried to disappear, leaving me in a cloud of dust.

There were a few more children left in the yard and quite a few things to tidy up, but I was already somewhere else.

I looked at myself - plucked, sweating, suffering, and the sentences of the anonymous father came back to my head as doubts: the main thing the child enjoyed?

For them we live?

The correct answer to both questions is no.

It's really nice that the child enjoys, but the child will enjoy even if he can run all day around the trampoline, and in any case, his level of enjoyment, relative to our crazy level of investment, tends to zero.

So instead of trying to beat in points the parents of the previous birthday, it is probably better to try an intimate celebration featuring someone who really loves the child, and maybe even buy another extra gift, in case the child starts asking too many questions. 

I also do not think that any person, somewhere, should live for someone else.

Even if our parents did it for us, it's still not a good enough excuse.

Suffering should not be one of the things that is perpetuated over the generations, even if it sometimes seems like the only thing we are really capable of maintaining.

I ended this day with a lot of sweat and a lot of questions.

A moment after the shower, the supplier of the inflatable called, said he had a problem getting there and asked if I could return the inflatable to him automatically.

Said it would help get along on the price.

I looked at the water-soaked monster and started sweating just thinking about the whole range of actions I would have to do now. 

I asked the couple for an exemption, I told her that maybe we should leave the inflatable for tomorrow, and at most it will cost us a few more shekels.

But she's one who knows how to spot a good deal when she sees it, and immediately informed me not to look for exemptions, because my birthday was over yesterday.

Perhaps in fact the best conclusion of this whole day is that we need to invent a special day for the day after the birthday, that we will have a soft landing before we go back to being like all the usual ones. 

2 The

and pressure cookers are starting to bubble across the country.

It is easiest to complain and say that anyone who has not experienced a closure with children has not experienced a closure since, but I would like us to look at it for a moment from their side.

Two children from the frames of Naama and Oded rode bicycles this week on the sidewalk near our yard.

Naama and Oded ran to them, clung to the gate and called their names.

The children stopped, exchanged a few words with them, then their father hurried them and they continued riding.

Naama and Oded continued to talk about this meeting even after a few hours.

I do not know how to analyze all the complicated graphs of the corona, and frankly, the more news I see, the more I begin to understand that even all scholars do not know how to do it.

But one thing is for sure.

The price children pay for a lack of social interaction is much higher than ours.

They need it for their development, and also for the psyche.

And I do not really know if there is a safe way to have this interaction, but it has to be done somehow.

Only if possible, without more birthdays.

shmulikn@israelhayom.co.il