Mics in toilet paper and a ransacked mansion: Randy Quaid's story is the craziest in Hollywood

Actor Randy Quaid has just announced that he is going to Uganda to collaborate with the Red Cross and that he will probably never return.

This decision would be eccentric if it came from any other movie star, but it is perhaps the wisest thing Quaid has said or done in the last ten years: the actor has been trapped in a grotesque spiral of crimes, escapes from justice and videos for a decade. disturbing.

He, for his part, assures that everything is a plot of an organization specialized in assassinating Hollywood stars.

And it all started as the best and worst stories begin: with a wedding.

Evi Motolanez worked as a production assistant on

.

One day he picked up the actor to take him to the shoot but he got lost on the way and they ended up having dinner at a Chinese restaurant.

Right there Quaid asked her to marry him, according to Evi, ignoring an invitation from Madonna to go to her house to have a threesome with Jennifer Gray

Randy Quaid participated in several classics from the seventies.

"It was a glorious time for Hollywood," he recalled in

.

"A patient-run asylum where you could make whatever kind of movie you wanted."

Quaid debuted with

(Peter Bogdanovich, 1971), which was followed by

,

,

and

.

The latter earned him an Oscar nomination, which he made profitable by appearing in

.

And when he was already one of the actors most loved by the American public thanks to his role as “cousin Eddie” in that comedy, Quaid achieved dramatic prestige with a

of Lyndon B. Johnson for which he won a Golden Globe.

It was 1988 and he seemed destined to establish himself as a character sideline in the industry.

But the Garden of Eden that Randy Quaid lived in was shaken by a woman named Eva.

The temptation, in this case, would not be an apple but an expropriated mansion, a persecutory paranoia and 200 pairs of Manolo Blahniks.

Evi Motolanez worked as a production assistant on

.

One day he picked up the actor to take him to the shoot but he got lost on the way and they ended up having dinner at a Chinese restaurant.

Right there Quaid asked her to marry him, according to Evi, ignoring an invitation from Madonna to go to her house to have a threesome with Jennifer Gray (both her co-stars on

).

"We went home, brushed our teeth and fucked," Evi would remind

.

“And while we were brushing our teeth, we felt as if we had been doing it all our lives,” her husband confirmed.

Randy Quaid with his wife Evi in ​​New York in 2007. Getty Images

During their early married years, Evi appeared twice in

as a style icon: collecting Alaïa micro-dresses, Geoffrey Beene suits, Kelly handbags or Chrome Hearts leather jackets, and traveling to Germany just to shop.

In those reports, Evi bragged about her exuberant standard of living and her enviable wardrobe.

So enviable that, according to her, even her sister-in-law Meg Ryan (then married to Dennis Quaid) was jealous of her and tried to imitate her in everything.

“She was always copying my style.

My clothes, my furniture, even the things I made, ”Evi explained.

Quaid's career continued to thrive thanks to

,

or

, and Miller beer commercials supported his wife's fondness for high fashion clothing.

The couple raided a mansion in Montecito where they had lived 20 years ago and vandalized it to the point of damaging 26,000 euros.

When their neighbor proposed to buy them a plot of their driveway, they thought she wanted to keep her mailbox and thus steal their checks.

But in 2000 the couple declared bankruptcy because they owed 350,000 euros to the treasury.

Evi did the math and convinced her husband that someone was stealing the checks for residual benefits (called

) from his most successful films: “In the last ten years I have only bought furniture from Donald Judd worth 42,000 euros and 200 pairs of Manolo Blahniks.

They have to be stealing the

"he said.

And that's when they set out to unmask the thieves.

That same year the actor stopped talking to his brother Dennis due to a misunderstanding between him and Evi.

When Meg Ryan dumped Dennis for Russell Crowe she took the paintings from their house, so Dennis asked Evi to find some art to cover the empty walls.

Evi appeared with an Andy Warhol painting titled

.

“I didn't even think about the painting being called 'Russell,' but it turned out like a delusional play with Dennis yelling at me, Randy yelling at him and his mother yelling at both of them.

It was kind of funny, really, ”Evi admits.

A horror musical

Dennis Quaid and Randy Quaid acted together in the movie 'Outlaws of Legend'.

In this image the complete cast are the sixth and seventh starting from the left.

Cordon Press

In 2003 Randy Quaid celebrated his induction to the Walk of Fame by explaining that his star is situated exactly at the same point where in 1970, at the age of 20, he got off a bus from Houston.

In 2005 he was nominated for every possible award for his role as Tom Parker, Elvis Presley's relentless manager, in the

.

From his exile in Canada, the actor opened a Twitter account in which he explained his day to day (“I found a microphone inside a roll of toilet paper in a public urinal”, “The helicopters have returned”) and where he also uploaded videos supporting Donald Trump

In 2007 Quaid landed a role in

, a musical that adapted

Shakespeare's

.

"A lot of people in the industry warned us that [the Quaids] were dangerously unbalanced," confessed songwriter Jack Herrick, "but Randy had been charming and had won over the whole team during castings."

As soon as rehearsals began, Evi went to the theater every day to record everything and demanded to design her husband's wardrobe herself.

When the actor appeared dyed red and with a cup ("He looked like he had a huge cock, Vivienne Westood looked like gay," she boasted), the director of the play objected to Evi continuing to interfere in the production.

She reacted by sending the team photos of herself in which she appeared naked wielding a gun.

And when Randy hit another actor (according to him, because he was so into character) and improvised dialogue describing "gynecological instruments" of another actress, he was fired from the play.

But the madness had only just begun.

Evi hired a private detective to investigate the past of the

actors

, because she suspected they wanted to kill them.

“They left things on stage at the mark where I had to jump at a certain point in the play,” Randy assured, convinced that the producers only wanted to collect the money from his insurance policy (the production of

ended up being canceled ).

The Quaids ended up asking the detective to let them hide in her motorhome.

"I rented it because I didn't want them to stay at my house any longer," the detective would clarify.

“Evi would let her dog urinate inside the house, feed him our dinner (roast beef) and when he woke up in the morning he would start yelling that the mob was out with chainsaws and shovels to bury them.

I would tell him 'Evi, he's the gardener.'

The investigation of the detective, who ended up claiming 13,000 euros in unpaid bills, concluded that all the facts that the Quaids argued were coincidences.

In 2010, when the Quaids were building a museum honoring Randy in Marfa, Texas, without the proper legal permits, they were arrested for non-payment of an 8,500 euro bill at a hotel in Santa Barbara.

Evi went to court with her husband's Golden Globe in hand and a credit card stuck to her forehead.

According to them, the Santa Barbara police were in cahoots with "the star thugs," an organization of Hollywood lawyers, accountants and executives who were trying to assassinate them and / or steal all their money.

It had all started, always according to the Quaids, when in 1983 Warner hired that mafia cabal to divert the residual checks that Randy received for

to the account of a person who did not exist.

A certain Ronda L. Quaid.

Dennis Quaid, Randy's brother (although today they are not related) and Meg Ryan, his ex-sister-in-law, photographed in 1995. Getty Images

The 'thugs' of the stars and a ghost woman

“Ronda has never existed.

No one ever knew her.

She was supposed to be a school teacher, but if you go to her village you will find that she had saved six million euros in cash.

What kind of teacher has that money?

It's

Randy's

.

I have investigated everything.

There is no body ”, Evi assured.

But Ronda L. Quaid did exist.

She was born in 1949 and died in Santa Barbara in 2005, where she worked as an art teacher at an institute, with a net worth of 1.3 million euros.

Her obituary in the

read: "Ronda was blessed with the gift of living life with humor and irony."

And surely she would have appreciated the irony of this mess with her identity.

But the Quaids are not amused.

Months later, the couple raided a mansion in Montecito where they had lived 20 years before and vandalized it until they perpetrated damages worth 26,000 euros.

The Quaids lived in that house in 1991, but when their neighbor suggested that they buy a plot at their entrance to have more space to park their cars, the couple understood that it was a plot: clearly that neighbor wanted to keep the piece of sidewalk.

According to them, "the thugs of the stars" had managed the sale of that house by forging their signatures, so that technically they were still the owners.

And overall, nobody lived there because the mansion was now a cover for money laundering.

That is a common practice among speculative companies, but someone did live in that particular house: Lannette Turicchi, the president of an event promoter.

“If this Turicchi even exists,” Evi countered, “she's just a buddy [of the thugs from the stars], I wanted to go home to check that she doesn't live there.

And indeed there was no one ”.

(Turicchi would clarify that she was not there because it was her second residence).

Randy and Evi were convinced that star thugs were behind the deaths of Heath Ledger (from drug overdose in 2008), David Carradine (from self-inflicted asphyxia in 2009) and Chris Penn (Sean's brother, who died of a cardiac arrest in 2006) and which, at that time, had targeted Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Randy Quaid.

That is why the couple fled to Canada to hide from their persecutors and, incidentally, not have to be held accountable for their unpaid hotel bills (they owed three more, for a total value of 62,000 euros) and the search of their old House.

But the Quaids continued to give interviews to anyone who wanted to listen from Vancouver, where they lived in a car that, according to a

report

, smelled of fast food, dog piss and cigarettes.

“Hyundai Prius are deceiving, they are more spacious than they appear, and we are tall people.

Legroom is important, ”Randy explained about his home.

His wife, whose outfit included a Yves Saint Laurent jacket and a Prada belt that

described as a "chic runaway," explained that they had tried to drive to Siberia but couldn't find a way to get there.

Evi detailed how her three-year investigation had led her to conclude that the very organization that persecuted them was behind the death of Michael Jackson and the boycott of Mel Gibson.

The couple tried to sell a

about their escape

to several television networks

, the first scene of which would start with them shooting one of the people on their list of enemies (made up of their former lawyers, their former friends, their ex-agents and various executives from Warner, the distributor of

).

"Do you suffer from mental imbalance, schizophrenia or drug addiction?" The

host asked them

.

"What do you think?" Evi replied.

Microphones on toilet paper

"I have eight friends who have passed away under mysterious circumstances or suffered scandals in recent years," he noted, "that's what I mean when I say 'thugs to the stars.'

It is not necessarily about killing, but about creating a scandal or a mystery around a famous person to discredit them ”.

From his exile in Canada, the actor opened a Twitter account in which he explained his day to day (“I found a microphone inside a roll of toilet paper in a public urinal”, “The helicopters have returned”) and where he also He uploaded videos supporting Donald Trump with a horror movie lighting, voice and speech.

In 2015, the couple posted a video in which Randy explained that he had put on the shirt he saved the world with on

to “screw Rupert Murdoch” (president of the conglomerate News Corp, who was attempting a hostile takeover at the time. about Warner).

He then reported that Warner had robbed his home and that, thanks to the support of News Corp, the couple had been falsely arrested six times.

The video ended with Evi wearing a Murdoch mask getting down on all fours and Randy simulating intercourse while yelling, after spitting on his hand and simulating lubrication, “You want to fuck me, Rupert?

Well, I'm going to screw you first! ”.

At the end the couple's dog appeared barking in the background and Randy exclaimed "I'm back!"

And it came back.

In 2016 the Quaids returned to Vermont to care for Evi's sick father and a judge dismissed the prosecution's process for obstruction of justice and escape.

They are not supposed to set foot in California, but last year they appeared smiling outside a Los Angeles market.

“My accountant sent me a letter behind Evi's back warning me that she was spending too much money and was going to ruin me.

They were trying to separate us, divide us, and it affected me: I started looking at Evi out of the corner of my eye thinking 'what a bitch'.

Yes, Evi went to Hermès and Chanel, but all the money spent there was only a fraction of what I was supposed to earn.

I was making enough money to keep Evi and her shopping going smoothly.

But Evi is very intuitive and very smart.

She is the smartest person I know.

You can call her crazy, but she is my life and if she weren't with me I don't know where I would be ”, Randy concludes, confirming that this story is, among many other things, a true love story.

And in the penultimate script twist of this story, in 2018 a wiretapping lawsuit against Detective Anthony Pellicano revealed that the list of individuals whose phones had been tapped by Pellicano, with the help of a corrupt Los Angeles cop, included ... Randy and Evi Quaid.

What if they were right?

It would be the kind of denouement that literally only happens in Hollywood.

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