Events in our house also take place once a century, for example - the children tidied up the room as soon as I asked, without crying or conditions • Dad's voice
1.
I think I spent with Naama and encourage
more quality time than my dad spent with me all my life, and they just aged 6 and 4.
And yet, guilt overwhelms me, almost always.
Maybe it's a Jewish matter, and maybe it's simply because more is always possible.
In any case, it does not let up, and even the endless hours together in the closure did not facilitate anything.
On the contrary, they just fixed in me the feeling that I was not doing anything good enough, because every day like this was worth a month of normal time coping, and the truth floated.
I saw the kids screaming, the rush celebrating, and the way they looked at me, sitting on the couch helpless, not turning to me for help, and I realized they saw me just as I saw my dad — the amusing side-kick of the mother who ticks everything.
I was supposed to be a 21st century dad, and in the end I'm a seventies dad, just with awareness.
It would have been better to already be a father from the seventies giving a wink at the right moment and sure that in doing so he fulfilled his role.
It is true that there are differences.
My dad would wake up on Saturday at ten-thirty in the morning, drink black coffee, smoke a cigarette, make up ash on the floor, then have lunch and go back to rest.
I, on the other hand, wake up on Saturday at a quarter to seven, make chocolate, arrange the channels for them, make sandwiches and fight so that there are no tears in the pita, so that the cheese does not get dirty in Princess Sofia's shirt.
But all this does not matter, because in the end, in the moment of truth, children shout mommy.
What is left for us, in the end, is only the small victories.
That's something too.
This week Naama and Oded asked me to take them to the playground, "because we know it's allowed now."
I looked at the clock, saw that it was 4:20 pm, and suddenly I digested that I had been awake for about six years.
"It's still hot outside," I said, "maybe another hour."
"But Dad, you promised!"
I put my hands in my pockets, usually it gives me some more time to think.
I discovered cookie crumbs there, which Oddi put in my hand about two months ago.
"Okay," I said, "but first you'll have to tidy up your room."
I do not know what you put in their chocolate that morning, but they agreed immediately, without any crying or conditions.
It seems to me that like the Corona, this is a once-in-a-century event.
And they even did it pretty well, so much so that I considered messing around a bit, for the couple to believe.
Then they sat down to watch Mickey Mouse on TV (the "Mickey and the race cars", I'm not really a dad from the seventies who calls all the animated shows "Mickey Mouse"), while they keep themselves busy and completely forget about the whole playground thing.
Who said fatherhood must be an endless rejection of your personal needs in the face of the children’s desires.
Oh, was that me?
2.
Every parent of toddlers will remember in the future
where he was when they announced
on television the return of the kindergartens.
I stood over the counter in the kitchen, grinding the yellows of the egg, which my children are unwilling to touch, for some reason.
I tried to explain to them that it was worthwhile, because it's the part with all the fat and cholesterol, but they do not understand interest, and in the meantime I am the projector responsible for concealing the evidence.
Every day I eat about five of these, and now it remains only to see what overeating egg yolks brings with it first - muscle or clogged arteries.
The moment of the announcement itself did not pass us by without dramas.
Oddi noticed that we were a little too happy with the half-day freedom we got from him (we were pretty transparent even for a 4-year-old), grumbled loudly and showed further signs of insult.
I went to him to deactivate the mine.
"You know you're going back to kindergarten on Sunday, right?"
"Yes, but I do not love you."
"Do you know that going back to kindergarten is a good thing? It's very important to you."
"Wrong, you are not right."
"Why am I not right?"
"I do not like you".
On social media, we get to read the almost reliable children's meditations, in the form of "Then Yotam hung a pair of big eyes on me and said: 'So, Dad, all human beings are brothers.'
But people have started to go a little too far with their children's seemingly innocent and meaningful quotes, while many times children say things like "I don't like you," or just talk about rhinitis.
Anyway, it was pretty hard to calm Oded down.
Most of the time we give our children the feeling that they are the crown of creation, so it is difficult for them to accept the truth, when it pops up from time to time without us feeling it.
Eventually it ended, because bad things also end, and we hugged him, and again gave him the feeling that he might be the sole crown of creation known to man.
We took advantage of the moments of grace to fulfill a task we received from the kindergarten teacher - to tell what we did during the closure (in my life I felt like sending it to her with a blank page), and to fill out a workbook.
We had almost fun performing these tasks, mostly because we knew very well what the prize was waiting for in the end.
Suddenly, from the pages, the famous health declaration form popped up.
We looked at each other and smiled a smile of veterans.
To think that a little over a month ago we allowed ourselves to complain about this thing.
3.
This week I got a
little
glimpse
into the future.
Oddi went back to kindergarten, his work partner, so Naama and I were left to spend all the mornings alone.
Very quickly I noticed something that had escaped my eyes during all the long months of quarantine: the girl had grown up.
Maybe it's the fact that her little brother was not there to drag her into petty quarrels, and maybe it's just because after a long time I had some quietness that makes me notice.
She got dressed, combed, painted, and suddenly I noticed she was doing it all in a girl's gestures.
Even when she talked to her dolls, it sounded to me somehow mature.
When the tablet did not turn on, she did not start screaming, but came and asked me what to do.
If this is how it is at age 6, then you can really already see the light.
At one point I went into her room, just to feel like I was doing something.
"Want a sandwich with chocolate?"
"No Dad, I ate chocolate last night. It's unhealthy to eat too much."
Well, maybe at all I should do a paternity test.
shishabat@israelhayom.co.il