(CNN) -
Model Emily Ratajkowski has announced her pregnancy with a personal essay that explores questions about the gender and identity of her unborn baby.
The article, published online by Vogue on Monday, is accompanied by a short film directed by Lena Dunham.
"I dreamed of you for the first time the other night," Ratajkowski said in the video.
"We are waiting for you, wondering who you are."
She elaborates on this curiosity in her essay, writing that when asked "Do you know what you want?" She and her husband Sebastian Bear-McClard reply, "We won't know the gender until our son is 18 and he will. to know".
The couple wants to be "progressive," she said (he, too, has insisted that he "has no preference" regarding the baby's gender, Ratajkowski added).
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Surprise: @emrata is our digital cover star – and she has some big news to share!
Tap the link in our bio to read @ emrata's own words on the magic and mystery of pregnancy.
Directed by @cassblackbird, Fashion Editor @jordenbickham Written by @emrata Hair @rubi_jones Makeup @romyglow Production @ tr1scuit
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But tensions run through the rehearsal, as she grapples with the world her baby will come to and the systems of race, gender, and power she will invariably encounter.
If the baby is a girl, she may experience the same "subconscious, internalized misogyny" that Ratajkowski still struggles with, the model wrote.
If the baby is a boy, challenge him to "teach him about his position of power in the world" as a white man, he added.
Ratajkowski and Bear-McClard will also have to face their own personal biases, he said.
Ratajkowski wrote that she had never thought of having a child and openly wonders if her husband "secretly longs for a boy."
She also related about people sharing opinions and advice that revolve around stereotypical distinctions between girls and boys.
"I want to be a mother who allows my baby to show itself to me," she wrote.
And yet I realize that while I hope he can determine his own place in the world, he will face, whatever happens, the undeniable limitations and constructions of the genre before he can speak or, heck, even be born ».
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Personal reflections
As she reflected on her son's gender, Ratajkowski shared some of her own experiences as a child.
He revealed how he was always very aware of beauty and its relationship to power.
This hyper-awareness shapes how girls see themselves, compared to others, well into adulthood, she wrote.
The trial also addressed other aspects of her pregnancy.
The "strange and unknown ways" your body is changing.
What an "innately lonely" experience is like, despite the support of your loved ones.
And ultimately, a feeling of "peace" and "wonder" as you wait for your baby to arrive.
I want you to see the potential of the world.
You feel like the potential of the world, ”he said in the video.
I can't wait to see who you will be.
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Ratajkowski has been an outspoken advocate for women's health, sexual empowerment, and feminist issues in recent years.
It made headlines in 2018 when she was arrested for protesting Brett Kavanaugh's nomination to the Supreme Court.
Kavanaugh faced multiple allegations of sexual assault, allegations that he has consistently denied.
She posed with unshaven armpits for a 2019 Harper's Bazaar photoshoot, accompanied by an essay on how we define femininity.
In September, she wrote about losing control over her self-image in a powerful essay for
The Cut
, where she shared her own experience of alleged sexual assault.
He has a collection of essays called "My Body" that will be published in 2022.
Emily Ratajkowski
