11/07/2020 6:01 AM
Clarín.com
Relations
Updated 11/07/2020 6:01 AM
For many years we have lived sexuality with different mandates that come from generation to generation and that it is difficult for us to let go.
We must observe them closely to be able to free ourselves and enjoy without so much pressure.
It is interesting to be able to
stop
and ask ourselves:
What are the sexual mandates that we have been suffering for decades?
How do they affect us?
Are you living your sexuality by your own rules or do you follow the imposed ones?
Are you one of those who move from the mold, those who dare to break it or those who try not to get out of the structures?
How much do external opinions affect your sexual choices?
Would you like to have your own commandments and rules no matter what they say?
How can we break the structures?
Do you like to go beyond the established, how far do you dare?
Porn, frequency, size, having to always wish, orgasms, multiorgasmia, trigasm, monogamy, fantasies, viagra, sex chip, time, total surrender, exclusivity, coitocentrism, and more they pressure us and
make us live a sexuality based more on what they will say
than on ourselves.
5 sexual commands to leave behind
These are some of the
sexual commands
that pressure us the most:
1. The mandate of sexual frequency
There are reports that the ideal sexual frequency is
three times a week.
Wow.
We tend to measure everything with numbers, and in sexuality the same thing happens.
We stick with quantity without thinking about quality
and tend to self-diagnose a sexual problem if we don't meet the supposed standards.
2. The mandate of intercourse
We live in a society in which sex was historically associated with procreation.
And although it has long since ceased to be exclusively for that purpose, it seems that we continue to focus on coitocentric relationships and thinking that
everything that is on the outside is not sex
.
This command generates a lot of pressure and does not allow a sexuality to be lived beyond sexual performance and the mandate of sexual vigor.
3. The mandate of "having to arrive"
"If I don't finish there is no pleasant encounter."
We call "ending" the moment of orgasm
, we put pressure on the moment of sexual climax and the whole encounter comes to an end with that little instant.
It seems like we measure pleasure just for that moment.
4. The mandate to try “new things”
Today there is also the
mandate to get out of the routine
, perform new practices, poses, places, meet new people.
It is important that we can ask ourselves if we are doing these new practices to "be part of" or if we really want to go beyond what is established.
5. The mandate of express solutions
Sexuality is not saved from problems, much less from magic solutions.
Not only do we want to give an answer to all problems with four or five practical tools that should serve us all, which is not usually the case, but there
are
also
more and more products
that seek to solve some "sexual problems" ( which are usually "problems" only if we have the chip of the mandates: we must always wish, there must always be intercourse, the time that the meeting should last, etc.).
By Francesca Gnecchi, graduate in sexuality and feminism, creator of Erotique Pink. IG: @alasparatusexuality.
