Tantric sex, slow flirting: 2020 was the year in which we rethink how we flirt and how we make love

In a Skype meeting, a dozen women hope to experience the maximum possible pleasure.

Some, with a certain shyness, explain that they have never dared to try the “yoni massage”, a tantric experience focused on the female sexual orgasm;

others assure that they are faithful followers of this technique, but that out of sheer curiosity they decided to join.

After a few minutes of chatting, practice begins.

Keyla Rodrigues,

sexual

and workshop guide, invites you to relax, meditate and connect with Shakti, a Hindu goddess related to beauty, sexuality and love.

He asks them to explore her body and vulva, without shame.

The objective of this

session

is to get rid of prejudices, get to know each other and achieve full sexuality, either accompanied or alone.

2020 has been a revolution in every way.

The confinement, the quarantine, or the uncertainty of these times have made us consider how we handled our sexuality, how we could improve it, and how we would like to bond affectively with others.

The French-Israeli professor Eva Illouz said it in an interview for EL PAÍS: “Confinement has revealed a dividing line: the one that separates people who live alone from those who have someone important to interact with.

This experience of isolation will increase the number of people who want to establish quality links.

The couple will acquire a new meaning: that of being a refuge from anguish, a stable source of sexuality and a remedy for a world that can suddenly become immobile.

Faced with this desire to improve sexuality, alone or as a couple, and in the face of a world where finding answers on the web is increasingly simple, online workshops on sex have increased significantly.

You can find everything: tantric sex (millenary oriental philosophy focused on the sexual energy of the individual to achieve pleasure where there is no distinction between the normatively beautiful and the ugly);

workshops on BDMS, (erotic bondage, domination, sadism and masochism);

new techniques of masturbation, oral and anal sex, and guided sex in personalized or group sessions.

“People are looking for a positive change in the way they handle their sexuality;

there are many who no longer want sex for sex because that leaves them a void, so they are looking for a deeper and more pleasant sexuality ”, explains Keyla, collaborator of the online workshops in Los placeres de Lola from Madrid and founder of the Erotiza tu mente platform.

“There are many people reconciling with their sexuality.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, many have dared to sign up for virtual workshops, since that gives you some privacy, you can turn off the front camera in the session, ”explains Francesca Gnecchi, an Argentine journalist specialized in issues of sexuality and director of Erotique.pink, a sex toy store where workshops and advice on sex are given from Buenos Aires.

“People who used to have a partner and now remain single, or people in a couple, but wanting to explore and educate themselves;

very young people and old people. "

Many have found in meditation and spirituality a relief against the high levels of stress that these times cause;

That is why tantric techniques (which seek to make the sexual act an energetic experience that is closer to the spiritual) are very successful online, according to Gnecchi.

“Tantric sex helps you connect with your body in another way, it aims to help you reconnect with the sexual energy that we all have;

it is closely related to uniting body, mind and soul ”.

Ana and Pedro (fictitious names of two participants in these courses who prefer to remain anonymous) are faithful practitioners of tantric sex.

At the beginning of the pandemic, they decided to try an

course

on guided sex and since then they have not stopped enrolling in similar workshops.

They argue that these tantric practices not only saved their relationship, but also helped them grow as people and accept their body without judgment.

“Seeing sex as something magical changes your life and changes the way you relate to your partner.

Before we had emotional voids that we did not know how to fill, there were emotional deficiencies.

In the pandemic, we decided to take time for ourselves.

Now we understand and value our sexuality more, we respect each other more. "

The reencounter with sexuality and the search for new quality sex-affective relationships is not only reflected in the increase in online workshops, but also in dating applications, so widely used in these times of pandemic.

According to a study by the Meetic application, for 90% of the singles surveyed in Spain it is more important to establish an emotional connection than a physical one.

Among other details, the study highlights that monosyllable conversations have been reduced and serious and deep talks have increased.

Most are looking for the alternative of

(a new way of meeting people

with which some

reduce the connection time to the application and refine the algorithm to talk to fewer people but more related to what one is looking for), perfect for Those who are fed up with empty and fleeting relationships.

“For the first time in their lives, many people realize that they want to have a stable partner, quality relationships, or a healthy sexuality alone.

I have heard patients who would never have thought they would say: 'I wish I had a partner', or 'I would like to have a more conscious sexuality'.

Before, very few spoke of tantric sexuality, it seemed something very dark and perverted;

or texting, which seemed to be only a practice for teenagers or depraved people, and which now becomes, for many, the only means of sexual contact with other people ”, explains Ruth González, a sexologist and couples therapist.

And he ends: "Loneliness has led people to make new approaches to sex and love."

Always live new perspectives and change, be it in life or in the skin.

Or both.

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