'Between the trees': an unpublished by Juan Mayorga

Juan Mayorga, portrayed in Madrid.GORKA LEJARCEGI

I

Are you greeting me?

Excuse me,

I do not recognize.

For not recognizing me he asks me for forgiveness?

He is very friendly.

There is nothing to forgive

Since you

he had never seen me.

It is true that his fiancee

will have given him to see

Photographs

in which I appear among other men,

always behind or in a corner,

but I know too well

I don't look like the man

of my photographs.

If she had told him about me,

you would have recognized me

just see me,

but you shouldn't blame yourself

that she

I did not tell him about me.

She may have told him my name

among other names,

pronouncing mine

without giving more value than others.

Or maybe not even

I told you my name

Do you want to hear it?

Do you want to hear my name?

No.

I will not hear your name.

I'm in a hurry.

Goodbye.

If you are in a hurry,

Let's talk as soon as possible.

If I wasn't in such a hurry

I would suggest a ride

between trees.

But we better talk

here and now,

since we are in a hurry.

I also.

The words that I must say to you

I mind saying them

before your wedding.

How do you care to listen to them

before your wedding.

You can say as many words as you want.

I will not be here to hear them.

As for the wedding,

your name,

whatever it is,

will not be on the guest list.

I can't make him listen to me.

But I'll stay here

waiting for him,

in case you change your mind.

Maybe, after thinking about it,

come back here.

Maybe come back here

alone or with her.

I have resigned

to see me again,

but if you bring her here,

between trees,

I will not hide.

Speak now.

And, for your sake,

measure what it says.

You and me

we were not born to know each other.

I'm not the kind of person

in which you find company,

nor are you the kind of person

that I am looking for

when I don't want loneliness.

We are not, however, strangers.

An affection unites us

—And what can unite more

what an affection?

In the past,

his fiancee and me

we had a bond.

If she hasn't spoken to him

of that old bond

maybe it's because it was

so unimportant

for her

how important it is to me.

I have nothing to claim,

nor anything to regret.

If I dreamed every hour

that that link

never end,

she did nothing

for encouraging my dream.

Nor do I regret anything

nor do I claim anything.

The best that I ever had

The best that I will ever have

are the moments

that I shared with her,

and if today I have any strength left

is to know that one day

she saw something good in me.

Neither do you have anything

to claim, or anything

to regret.

She had turned away from me

forever

before meeting you.

I do not deny that the news of the wedding,

for which I had not prepared,

it made me feel

to you,

without knowing it,

a deep resentment

of which I am ashamed today.

I do not deny having cursed his name.

How much has it cost me to separate

blood and thought!

How much has it cost me to understand

—How many sleepless nights—

that, united by love

to the same person,

I must love you!

How much it cost me to know

that although my heart bleeds

I must wish for her

happiness without me!

And it is from that,

of your happiness,

what I have come to tell you about.

I talked.

It was not impossible

that you were here tonight.

Of not having done it,

I would have found another place

-Although none had been

better than this—

to tell him

what I should tell you.

What I should tell you is this:

yes, as i hope,

you make her happy,

You can have me for the best of your friends.

I am not the person of many friends,

but my friends

they don't have a best friend.

Make her happy

and I will accompany you

in all difficulty.

I have no doubt that this will be the case:

it will make her happy

and will not have a friend like me.

I don't need to know

to have over you

a high opinion.

I'm not optimistic about people

and I count on evil

rather than good,

but my trust in you

it has a very deep root.

My trust in you

rest in my knowledge

of which is going to be his wife.

She wouldn't join a man

who did not respect,

and a man that she respects

he cannot be just any man.

I think you will make her happy

and i will protect it

because it will be her happiness

what I'll be protecting.

If on the contrary,

I saw one day

in her eyes

the mark of unhappiness,

you would have in me

the worst of his enemies.

If she didn't have by her side

the happiness you deserve,

I would not forgive you.

I am not a violent person.

Nothing embarrasses me more

than useless violence.

No one should wait

any harm to me.

But I know the biggest damage

that one does it

from which no harm would be expected.

I am not talking about today

nor tomorrow,

I'm talking about a task

that I will impose while I live.

At all times I will know

how your wife feels.

I can read in his soul:

she could never hide me

his sadness.

The only thing I can already wish for

and I want it without measure,

is that she be happy

and you with her.

Everything depends on you,

everything is in your hands.

Do what you must do

without ever being careless.

Will not be neglected

if she cares

as much as to me.

She, you, me

the three of us will be happy

or the three wretches.

It's also for me

who I fight for,

Well I will not be happy

if she is not.

This I wanted to tell you.

I have chosen carefully

my words.

It is not necessary that you

I answered with others.

His life will answer me.

As for mine,

I have already told him

what am I going to put it on.

You have not wanted

know my name

and I won't tell you.

If you don't want to,

she won't know

of this encounter.

If you are as I hope,

can forget me.

I do not wish

that we meet again.

He won't see me anymore

if it is worth it.

But I am not a prophet.

I can only feel towards the others

love or contempt.

Never give me reason

to despise it.

Today my heart is full

of love towards you.

Can I hug it?

II

You're good?

I woke up fine.

I slept well and woke up

in the best mood.

Woke up counting

the hours left.

Impatient,

I went to make sure

that everything is ready

for tomorrow.

It is not?

Everything is ready.

If the sun rises

or if the clouds cover the sun,

everything will be arranged.

How beautiful is the place

what we have chosen

for our wedding.

I left there happy

counting the hours left.

Too bad I had

on the way here,

a strange encounter.

A madman greeted me.

Between trees.

He greeted me and I hesitated:

Do I go along with it

Or do I pretend not to see it?

I chose wrong.

I don't know if tonight

I will get to sleep

nor in what mood

I'll get up tomorrow

Did he do something to you?

I hug myself.

Didn't he do anything else?

I speak.

He spoke with that conviction

that they only have when talking

those who say atrocious.

Are you going to tell me what he said?

He could hear our names somewhere

and news of the wedding.

At these hours

will be bothering another man,

giving him a hug.

What he told me

—So imprecise—

can be told to anyone

that she is getting married tomorrow.

Won't you tell me?

No.

So let's talk about something else.

Or let's not talk.

"If he makes his wife happy",

he told me,

«He will not have a friend like me.

But if I see in her eyes

the mark of unhappiness,

he will have no enemy like me.

"The mark of unhappiness," he said,

as if he knew her.

I didn't want to know his name.

They are imprecise words.

Vague, blurred words

that anyone could say

to a man getting married tomorrow.

I didn't want to know his name.

Did you ever mention it

alone or accompanied

of other names?

Did you ever tell me about him?

I never did it.

I never would have.

What separated you?

We were never close.

Why weren't you closer?

He is not a person with whom I

can live.

Because he is crazy.

He is not mad.

How is it?

What do we care

whatever?

I want to know

How is it.

That's why I let him talk to me.

Because I wanted your words

tell me

How is it.

Let's forget about him.

It's not night to talk

but you and me.

Since when have you not seen it?

When you and I meet

he was already for me

the shadow of a shadow.

Did you not know

before me

other women?

Do we look alike?

No.

There has to be something

in what we look alike.

No.

He is sick?

Did it seem sick to you?

It seemed so fragile to me

that he was not afraid of anything.

It seemed to me that I had no

fear nothing

and that it could hurt us.

I shouldn't have done

what I did.

Did you do something to him?

I did not respond to his hug.

I shouldn't have done

what I did.

Did you threaten him?

I think he threatened me.

I shouldn't have done

what I did.

I shouldn't have heard it.

If you ask me,

I will talk with him.

Would you know how to find it?

I know where to look for it.

I don't want you to talk to him.

If one day you come across him,

I don't want you to talk to him

I don't want you to hear it

I don't want you to look back.

Where would you look for it?

In places

where we were together.

Where would you start looking for it?

In the last place

where we met.

There,

between trees.

There is.

Between trees.

No one

between trees.

I don't see it either

But I know it's there

Any other

he would have tired

and it would be gone.

I would have gotten tired

And I would be gone

He will not tire.

He will be there

so long

as necessary.

The time they need

his words

to reach

where he sent them.

You have chosen them carefully

and you have chosen carefully

how to pronounce them

so they never leave.

Walking this way

I couldn't stop thinking about them

and how he pronounced them.

Upon entering, I was surprised

my bad face in the mirror.

I have told myself:

«Is this going to be

the rest of my life?

What have you done

that man of me? ».

I wanted to kill him.

There, among the trees.

The heart

it hit me so hard

than my hands,

without more weapons,

would have been enough.

I want to kill him

and he is waiting for me.

There, among the trees.

Yesterday I slept well and when I woke up

I counted the hours left.

Today I will not sleep.

It's there,

between trees.

He's looking at us.

I won't be able to sleep

while he's looking at us.

What do you want of me?

I will do what you ask of me.

If you ask me,

he will no longer exist.

It is not enough that it does not exist.

Necessary

that has not existed.

III

Why do you despise me?

Do you think i need a keeper

of my happiness?

Why are you punishing me?

What do you gain

threatening man

who am I going to live with?

Why do you hit

against our past?

Can't you see that you make me hate

every moment

We spent together?

Has that man told you

the man you're going to live with,

that I have threatened him?

I don't think I have.

Why would i want

threaten him?

If you have chosen it

For your life,

How could i have

nothing against him?

I hugged him;

Did my hug threaten him?

Which of my words

threatened him?

I chose them carefully

as carefully I chose

the way to pronounce them.

That my words

scare him

don't tell me

nothing good about him,

but that fear

is good for you.

I don't want to do anything against him.

We are united

in our love for you.

I want to protect it.

Every moment that we spend together

forces me to.

Every moment that we spend together

forces me to save

your happiness.

Nor did he ask for your protection

nor is it protection that you offer.

He didn't ask for your hug

not even you hugged him.

You wrapped it up

with a gray veil.

You chose your words carefully

and how to pronounce them.

Now your words surround it

like a gray veil.

His head, his hands

—The hands that caressed me—

your words have covered them

like a gray veil.

His chest,

your lungs,

your words cover them

like a gray veil.

A gray veil

separates it from the world.

No one can live

awaiting the judgment of another.

No one can love

tried by another.

A gray veil

separates him from me.

What will become of him now?

What will become of me?

What will become of us?

I do not know.

I know about us

-the,

you,

I-

less than you know.

You gave us all three

this destination

which is now fulfilled.

If one day you saw in my eyes

the mark of unhappiness,

what would you do?

I can't imagine you unhappy.

What I see in your eyes now

is strength and pride

and anguish.

Your heart is fighting.

If my heart matters to you

go with your words and your hug.

Your words and your hug

they separate me

Of the man I'm going to live with

You have what you were looking for.

Looking for more?

You will not receive more.

If you care

the moments we spent together

among these trees,

get away from here

with your hug and your words.

You are not here,

between trees,

To ask me to walk away

You know i can take

these arms,

but my words,

you know,

I can't take them.

The man you're going to live with

you will never forget them.

He has repeated my words to you

and you won't be able to

forget them.

They will always accompany you.

Every day.

Each night.

Every day and every night

they will bring you

pride, courage and anguish.

Nothing can change that.

None of that will change

because I walked away.

You are not here,

between trees,

To ask me to walk away

Are you here,

between trees,

to nail in my heart

the knife you hide.

You hide it, but its shine

step opens

between trees.

If you don't nail it to my heart now

between trees,

every day,

each night,

wherever you are,

you will want to have done it.

But even if you stick that knife in my heart

—Now between the trees

or at sunrise

or tomorrow at noon

or a rainy afternoon

or a night without stars

between trees-,

although you stick the knife you hide in my heart,

you will keep listening to my words.

I hope the sun comes out tomorrow.

You will not see it.

While he comes,

let's celebrate

tonight so beautiful

THEATER FOR MINUTES

Author:

Juan Mayorga.

Publisher:

La Uña Rota, 2020.

Format:

soft cover (396 pages, 22 euros).

Look for it in your bookstore