In the past week you have learned to identify formative phrases from your childhood.
This is an important step.
The next crucial step is to take the power out of those old voices and phrases.
Because they are often stubborn.
There is a reason that the sentences are so firmly anchored: In the past, the beliefs were probably important to you and helped you to orient yourself in the parental home or in dealing with parents, teachers or role models.
For a child, the phrase "I can't trust anyone" can even be helpful and coherent.
If you failed at tasks as a child and this was also conveyed to you by parents or teachers, then as a child you could not help but assume the ascription "incapable" or underperforming and feel the same way.
The crux and at the same time the chance is that a lot of time has passed since childhood.
In the meantime you have learned a lot, made many new experiences, achieved other things and mastered difficult tasks.
Therefore, try to "update" your beliefs, that is, to bring them up to date.
The following exercise will help you:
Exercise: Find evidence
What was your most stubborn belief?
Let's assume it was "I can't do this" or "I am not really important to anyone." Now collect some arguments or facts from your life that confirm the sentence (e.g., "I actually didn't get the degree that I did." wanted to do «or» I can't ride a bike, everyone else could. «).
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Then collect some arguments against your belief.
Think about things you've achieved or about people with whom you have a good relationship.
List here everything that speaks against the old belief.
This inner list strengthens them.
Keep this list in mind as you notice old patterns and beliefs in the way you think and act.
If you enjoy this exercise, you can also write everything you have accomplished that invalidates the old beliefs on a piece of paper.
You hang this up in a clearly visible place.
So keep in mind the evidence that things have changed.
But also remember that we can generally leave the imprints of childhood behind us.
We are not at the mercy of them, as you saw in week one.
This coaching pauses at Christmas.
You will then receive the next episode in the new year.
We wish you a nice party!
Continue reading ...
Developmental psychologist Lieselotte Ahnert explains how to create a secure bond with your own children and how to avoid mistakes.
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