At the beginning of this coaching you have already found out which beliefs you have carried in your luggage since childhood.
These sentences, which are often associated with feelings of helplessness, anger or despair, also play a role in everyday life.
A situation, an event in work or private life suddenly triggers the old thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes this makes you feel like you are a child again.
Much is said and written about this mode of the inner child, into which one can fall like through a kind of time tunnel.
The inner child is a metaphor for the imprints from childhood.
We remember some events, most of which lie in the unconscious.
Be it because we gained the experience before the brain structures for our long-term memory had matured, be it because we forgot or repressed the experience.
The personality part of the inner child includes both memories and experiences as well as the associated feelings and behavioral patterns - both positively and negatively.
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The positive imprints are a source of joy and exuberance: You eat the ice cream of your childhood and feel as exuberant as you did during the school holidays when the ice cream was part of the afternoon ritual.
In contrast, the negative imprints can be quite a problem as an adult.
The inner child is also a topic for bestsellers such as »The child in you must find a home« by the psychologist Stefanie Stahl.
In the book "The Bonding Effect" by the psychotherapist Ursula Nuber, who helped develop this coaching, you will learn to deal with your child's inner part in an even more gentle and friendly manner.
This coaching, on the other hand, is more practical about distancing oneself from negative childhood influences.
Some behavioral therapy techniques are very helpful here.
If you find these techniques silly or strange, don't let them stop you.
Try any or all of the three techniques presented here.
You will see: It is precisely because these techniques seem a little ridiculous that they unfold their effect.
Exercise: distance yourself
Beliefs from childhood are persistent.
You will never be able to get rid of it completely or even block it.
Often times they just pour into the head.
But you can create distance from the old sentences.
The distancing techniques from behavioral acceptance and commitment therapy, ACT for short, help:
Close window
.
Imagine if your belief system were a kind of pop-up window on the computer, annoying but kind of unimportant.
As soon as this thought arises, just click it away.
So it is no longer in your field of vision and becomes less relevant.
Spell, sing, or distort
.
Speak your belief in a very high-pitched voice, spell it out, for example, "I am for nothing" or sing it as a hit melody that you don't like.
So you make the sentence a little ridiculous and distance yourself from the same hit song.
Note in the pocket.
Write the belief on a piece of paper, put it in a pocket for anyone to see, and carry it around with you.
So he is "out of the head" and banished to a piece of paper.
That can also help create distance.
Have you tried one of the techniques or all three?
Then try to use this again and again over the next few weeks.
Continue reading ...
Couple counselor Michael Mary explains how to banish the ghosts of childhood from your life.
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