Far from the eyes, far from the sex?
Not necessarily.
For the past year, couples and lovers, physically far apart, have nonetheless been sexually aroused.
And it is not the last containment measures concerning 21 million French people who will put a stop to remote sex.
“I think I saw my naked guy more on a screen than with my own eyes,” Stéphanie laughs.
The young literature teacher met her lover last summer while on vacation by the Mediterranean.
Problem, she lives in Nantes and he in the Paris region.
“Having sex on the phone has become a routine,” she continues.
We only see each other on weekends.
So in the meantime, we keep control.
"
Foreplay ... on the phone
Flaming SMS, photos or videos, phones overheat quickly.
“It's a bit like preliminaries that last a very long time, smiles Stéphanie.
When we meet, we are very, very hot.
But it is perhaps because it is finally a short time that we know each other.
Not sure if this amuses us for very long.
"
Technology has for quite some time disrupted the codes of rascal letter exchanges of yesteryear.
But smartphones are pushing nomadism to its climax.
Including even under his duvet.
“When you meet through an application on your phone, it's not so surprising to also use it to vary your sex life, the worm is already in the fruit,” notes Stéphane.
The quadra has dropped the video aperitifs in vogue during the containment of spring 2020 but remains faithful to his meetings with two virtual lovers.
"If not touching, at least we can see each other ..."
“I sleep with one or the other from time to time, but normally, it's coming back from an evening in a bar or a nightclub,” explains the divorced father.
With the Covid, we stay at home and in the evening, the discussions often revolve around sex.
We send each other pictures of us, we show what we are doing.
There is interaction so it's more fun than pure solitary pleasure.
There is a lot of boredom at the moment, we did it before, but less frequently.
There, it's complicated to see each other and there is frustration.
So if we don't touch each other, at least we can see each other… ”
In February 2020, an Ifop study noted that 22% of French people had already had virtual sex in their lifetime.
But the proportion climbed to 40% among those under 35 and even 44% for those aged 18-24.
A year turned upside down by the virus later, the digitalization of sexuality has no reason to have diminished.
"It is not because I am careful not to catch the Covid that I want sex less, notes Abdel.
And finally, a screen is an excellent barrier gesture.
"If he continues to meet occasionally with boys, the computer scientist is increasing the number of video encounters.
“There is a very raw side but it is very exciting to look at each other… even if that does not replace the contact of the skin of the other,” he admits.
This helps cut the isolation a little.
In reality, it would have been a dead-end relationship anyway.
But I still can't wait to be able to be vaccinated to return to a normal life.
Including sexual.
"
"I find it a little pointless to warm up a boy that I may never see"
The sexuality of the French is particularly affected by the health situation.
For the better when couples take advantage of teleworking to regain a little libido, but often for the worse when the permanent cohabitation, the increased presence of children or the lack of social life weighs on everyone's nerves.
And on desire.
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A second year art history student, Clémence also notes a real change since she left her roommate in the Paris region to return to live with her parents in Champagne.
"I talk to guys on Tinder or Bumble but as I am very isolated, they are far away and I can hardly meet them, deplores the one who gave up organizing a big party for her 20 years.
After a while, it's a little pointless to talk to each other without ever seeing each other, as if I had ghost guys (laughs).
Sometimes the exchanges are more intimate.
But I find it a little pointless to heat up a boy whom I don't know and whom I may never see.
"
On social networks, the student deplores the avalanche of dick pics, these unsolicited sex photos sent by strangers.
"Aggressions" that she puts on the account "of the frustration of young people who can no longer bear this period".
Marco wants to be more romantic.
This fan of erotic literature himself publishes on a specialized site.
"This is my main quality for flirting," laughs the sixty-year-old who meets on discussion forums.
"I maintain correspondence by email with women whom I do not see or very occasionally," continues the young retiree.
These are more intellectual than physical relationships.
We no longer have the bodies of young premieres but we vibrate with words.
I find it much more intense than during my 20 years of marriage… ”
Does this article appeal to you?
Does your sex life question you or do you simply want to share your personal experiences?
Write to me at
bmetayer@leparisien.fr
or on Twitter:
@BertrandMetayer
