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When I left my children five years ago, I did it in a hurry.
I didn't have time to keep any souvenirs, no toys.
I only took a family photo with me.
At the time, my husband and I thought we had no choice.
The Chinese authorities constantly harassed us and demanded that we hand over our passports or we would suffer the “consequences”.
There was also a strict birth control policy.
They wanted to do a "physical checkup" to see if I was pregnant.
And it was.
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The testimony of a detainee in Xinjiang: "They took us to class with shackles on our feet and handcuffs on our hands"
A Uyghur in Spain: "I can't talk to my relatives in Xinjiang for fear that something will happen to them"
We had obtained visas for Italy, but we were afraid that at the border they would ask us questions if we were leaving with all our children at the same time.
So we decided to take the youngest one, who I was still breastfeeding, for the moment and leave the other four with their grandparents - two boys and two girls who were then between 7 and 11 years old - until they could join us later. .
If we hadn't left China then, I don't know if we could ever have left.
Still, we had no idea how bad things were going to get in Xinjiang.
After our arrival in Italy, our family began to be in the crosshairs of the Chinese authorities.
My mother was taken to an internment camp and my father was interrogated for several days and then had to be hospitalized.
He was 80 years old.
My children were left alone.
According to the Chinese government, they were the children of "traitors."
The rest of our relatives could not take care of them because they were afraid that they would also send them to camps.
They call my children "orphans", but I am alive
It didn't take long for the school to realize that the meetings were not attended by their parents or any guardians, so they asked the government to take care of these “orphaned” children.
They were sent to a school that was like a jail, where they were guarded 24 hours a day.
They call these places "orphan camps."
They call my children "orphans", but I am alive.
My father passed away in November 2019. But that month we also received good news: the Government of Italy authorized us to bring our children to the country.
Informing them of the situation was risky, as they monitored their communications, but we managed to do it in March 2020, during a video call.
To get their visas they had to go to the Italian consulate in Shanghai, 5,000 kilometers away.
They were too young to make such a trip alone, but we could not find anyone to accompany them to the city because of the risks involved.
In May 2020, the Chinese police interrogated my children one night for two hours.
The officers asked them why they were still in contact with their parents.
They were told that this was dangerous and threatened to take them to an internment camp at the end of the course.
Illustration of the story of the children of Mihriban Kader, of the Uighur ethnic group, who were interned in an 'orphan camp' even though their mother is alive. Amnesty International
The children were scared.
My son called us every day, begging us to rescue him.
He said he was on a list of people who were going to be sent to an internment camp.
The Italian visa expired in August, so we had to let the children go to Shanghai alone.
We gave them instructions and, with the help of strangers and contacts, they managed to get there.
But once there they were not allowed to enter the Italian consulate.
Two days later, the police arrested them and sent them back to the orphan camp.
Until then, I had always hoped that we would see our children again.
But now we are in a desperate situation.
China has detained my children and if they want to harm them, they can.
I've seen images of orphan camps on the internet and that's why I know they watch Chinese red propaganda movies
It is dangerous for Uighurs to report the human rights violations we suffer, but we have told our story to Amnesty International in the hope that someone will help us.
In the five years that have passed since I was separated from my children, I have not stopped thinking about them for a minute.
No one can really understand what it feels like if they haven't been through this.
I don't know what my children are doing now.
I have seen pictures of orphan camps on the internet and so I know they watch Chinese
red
propaganda movies
and sing
red
songs
at school.
Whenever I watch these videos, I think about my children and how they are raising them.
How they have them in a small classroom, learning things they don't want, separated from their father and mother, and how much they must miss us.
"At night I wake up between nightmares ... On those occasions, the only thing that consoles me is the photo in which you see the four that I took with me when I hurried out the door five years ago." Amnesty International
My baby was born in Italy, and then we had another who was also born here.
Sometimes we take them in our arms, we talk to them about their brothers and sisters who are in Xinjiang and we cry.
They ask when they will meet them, and I don't know what to answer them.
At night I wake up between nightmares and pray to Allah to bring them to us.
On those occasions, the only thing that comforts me is the photo of the four that I took with me when I hurried out the door five years ago.
Testimony collected by Amnesty International and originally published in English in
The Guardian
.
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