Her two brothers, Shimon and Shlomo Koenigsbuch, were killed in the Six Day War • Her eldest son, Col. Dror Weinberg, was killed in Hebron • Her second son, Shai, died of cancer • And in January a son-in-law was found, Lt. Col. (Res.) Dr. Avi Harlev, died In his car • But the inconceivable chain of losses does not break the spirit of Batsheva Hupert
"I have fourteen grandchildren, none of whom have a father."
Batsheva was privatized
Photo:
Efrat Eshel
Two weeks before Pesach, a meeting of old and new bereaved parents of the "Light for Families" organization was held at the British Police Building in Yad LaShiryon in Latrun.
The table was laden with all goodies, and pink gerbera flowers were there too, patiently waiting until the end of the evening to be picked up by the fathers and mothers of soldiers who had fallen in the past year.
Then came up seven-year-old Hupert.
In a loud and confident voice, the 79-year-old woman told the story of her family's bereavement, and as she spoke, those present shook their heads in disbelief at the tragic chain of losses experienced by the woman in front of them.
"Alas," one of the mothers hissed quietly, but Batsheva did not hear her, and went on to tell of her two brothers, Shimon and Shlomik, whom she lost one after the other in the Six Day War, and how her eldest son, Col. Dror Weinberg, later fell, at the age of 38. The most senior officer killed in the second intifada, and after two and a half years, her second son, Shai, succumbed to cancer, also at the age of 38.
Towards the end of her seven-year direct speech to those present, she raised her voice and said: "'And you chose life' is not a recommendation but a commandment, not only for me but for all of us. For you. Although my brothers and children were physically lost, they live within us, and their heritage is etched in our memory "Thanks to them, we continue to live. As long as I breathe in me, I will continue to walk in the light of my loved ones with their heads held high, with a beating and aching heart and a sense of pride."
In the past, whenever Shabbat Sheva confronted bereaved parents, she would end her remarks with a story about the daughter she had left after the death of her two sons, Shlomit, named after Shlomik, her fallen brother.
Shlomit is proud to say that Shlomit is a midwife and nurse in charge of the emergency department at Soroka Hospital, and is also proud of her son-in-law, Shlomit's husband, Dr. Avi Harlev, who managed the IVF unit at Barzilai Medical Center in Ashkelon. New life, "she used to say," they forcefully insist on the victory of life, after all the loss we experienced. "
This time Batsheva did not tell about Shlomit, nor about my father. My father, a resident of Sansana in the Mount Hebron Regional Council and a lieutenant colonel in reserve, was found three years ago Months in his car lifeless in the Lahav forest near Be'er Sheva.
He returned from a meeting in his reserve unit and wore a uniform.
The investigation into his death is still ongoing, but the family is certain that it is a nationalist event, since the forest is a transit route for Shavuot crossing the Hebron area. Harlev left behind his wife Shlomit, five children and two granddaughters.
Everything is still fresh, unbearably painful, inconceivable, and Shabbat seems Can not tell others what she has not yet told herself.He admits that this script surpasses all imagination.
Hard and torturous attempts
Tuesday before Passover, in the Mediterranean Towers in Jerusalem.
Batsheva is touring with me at her and her second husband's new home, Shlomo Hupert (80), whom she married 30 years ago.
He was a social worker and psychotherapist, but his great hobby is opera, which he researched, and even wrote a book on the subject.
Last September they moved here from Kfar Saba, after half a year of deceptive and isolated Corona and a decision to change towards the age of 80. "We have everything here - society, sports, culture," she says, "and most importantly - we moved here to be close to our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Everyone lives in the area. "
Their apartment is cozy.
From the large windows, Jerusalem can be seen in all its glory, including the String Bridge, and on the ledges are a variety of orchid pots, which Shabbat Sheva loves to grow.
They are in full bloom at this time, symbolic of the stubborn cycle of life.
They make her happy.
Batsheva is a well-groomed woman, dressed in dresses by Israeli designers and meticulous about matching bags and jewelry.
"She is such a colorful woman," Irit told me from "Light for Families" before we met, "her nails are always smeared in red, and you will never see her dressed in black. It's part of her grip on life."
But Batsheva's nails are no longer red, since her son-in-law is gone.
"I can't really smear them with red. I had a talented groom, bigger than life itself, a man in men, a wonderful spouse to his wife, a wonderful father to his children, a wonderful grandfather to his grandchildren, a professional of his stature and above, who was responsible for bringing thousands of babies into the world. "I thought Shai's death would be the last to hurt me so much, but it turns out that the attempts we are making time and time again are difficult and excruciating."
Despite everything, Batsheva is preparing for the holidays that will come and connect in a sequence of meals.
She has renewed herself with a set of plates, and she will cook a little every day, make a homemade horseradish and charoset and arrive ready for the holiday, so that Shlomit and the children will come, eat the delicacies they love.
Daniela, her granddaughter, the daughter of the late Shai, is vegan, so you have to take care of her as well. On the Sabbath, Batsheva will travel to visit her fourteen grandchildren, the grandchildren of Dror and Hadassah and Shlomit and Avi.
A large work of art hangs in Batsheva and Shlomo's living room
.
"Look how beautiful and handsome my brothers were," she points in their direction.
Her parents, Mordechai Zvi and Tania Koenigsbach, met in Ramat Gan and married in Israel when they were 22. "My father came from Germany when the Nazis came to power, And my mother came from the city of Ponivez in Lithuania.
She studied at the Hebrew Gymnasium in Kaunas and spoke wonderful Hebrew, so her parents decided to send her to Israel, to continue her studies in the Hachshara, and in fact saved her life.
There is no trace left of her family, she is the only one who survived.
"It was a religious house. After my older brother, Shimon, was born in 1939, they moved from Ramat Gan to Jerusalem, because my mother implored my father to study teaching. He began studying at the Mizrahi Teachers' Seminary. I was born in 1941.
" When my father graduated, He received an offer to run the Mizrahi school in Kfar Saba, and we moved there.
He was a revered principal, who also taught mathematics, physics and chemistry.
Mother was a very smart and dominant woman, and they had a wonderful relationship.
After me, they gave birth to three more children: the late Shlomo, Deborah and Yossi.
"Dad became a professor of physical chemistry at Bar-Ilan University, and when he became a lecturer there, we moved to live in the lecturers' bar in Bar-Ilan."
Buried in temporary burial
Her father was 55, at the height of his career, when the Six Day War broke out.
Batsheva was already 25 years old, the mother of Dror, who was two and a half years old, and of Shai, who was one year old.
She lived in Kfar Saba, but since the city was bombed from Qalqilya, she moved with the children to her parents' apartment at Bar-Ilan University.
"Shimon was then 28 years old, a teacher by profession, married and a father of two, and his wife Edna was in advanced pregnancy. When the emergency service was called up before the war, he was called up for reserve service in the Armored Forces.
" Shlomo, or as we called him, Shlomik, was 21, a lieutenant in the patrol company. Of the 7th Brigade in the Armored Corps.
Recruitment began two days before his official release from the army, and due to the tense situation he remained in the company on permanent terms.
"The war broke out on Monday. Jerusalem was liberated on Wednesday, and we are waiting in a helpless house for a signal from them, and we have no shred of information. I remember a literature professor, who lived above my parents, came down to us with two glasses of wine to celebrate the liberation of Jerusalem, and my father said Lou: 'As long as my two sons do not return from the war, I will not raise a glass.'
"On Saturday the war ended, and we hoped that Shimon and Shlomik would return safe and sound.
Unfortunately, we were deceived.
"On Sunday evening, representatives of the Kfar Saba municipality came to my parents to announce that Shimon had been killed on the first day of the war, in a battle held at the Mazar sign in the Gilboa Mountains. He was buried temporarily in the military cemetery in Nahariya. Since I had a driver's license, I went to Edna's parents to inform them On the fall of Shimon.
"We had to locate Shlomik, tell him he had to go back and sit seven on his brother.
We had no idea where he was, and our attempts to find out in any way were unsuccessful.
But on Monday, while we were sitting seven on Shimon, the news came that Shlomik was killed on the fourth day of the fighting at the entrance to Rafah, after a massive shelling.
Almost all the men of the company perished, there was a heroic battle.
Shlomik was also buried in a temporary burial, in Kibbutz Bari.
"We sat seven on both of them. On Tuesday, immediately after we received the news of Job, it was the eve of Pentecost. It is a holiday that cancels seven, and I remember Dad saying to all of us, 'The holiday is coming, put a white tablecloth.' Mom lay on the couch and spoke softly in Yiddish, A language I did not understand, because only Hebrew was spoken at home. I said to her, 'Mom, I do not understand what you are saying,' and she replied: 'I do not speak, I am silent.
' They were laid to rest in the cemetery in Kfar Saba.
Their names are engraved in the wall that fall by the armory.
"Shimon's third son was born a month and a half after his death, and he was named Shimon-Shlomo, after his father and uncle."
I paid my debt to the state
"This war pierced our hearts and tore us to pieces," says Batsheva. "The loss and grief were unbearable. The concern for my parents, whose world was destroyed, was the order of the day - and on the other hand, I and my two brothers, Deborah and Yossi, became bereaved brothers. I cried. A whole year after they were killed, their deaths hurt me no less than my parents. I shared a room with my brothers, we were together all the time, most of the time in Bnei Akiva, a bunch of five cohesive brothers.
"I pretended to be a functioning mother, but I did not stop crying.
I would sit at home and weep bitterly, not understanding how people continue to live and laugh, while a five-pound hammer fell on me that paralyzed me.
"Dror was only 3 years old when he said to me: 'Mom, I'll take a hammer and break the pictures of David Shimon and David Shlomik, that's how they will come out of the pictures and stop crying.' That day I stopped crying. A few years later Shlomit was born to me.
" A very strong and mentally healthy woman, I may be a little similar to her in this matter.
It took her a while, but she recovered.
After Pentecost she said to me: 'You have two small children, they need to grow up.
Take them home and live your life. '
I returned to Kfar Saba, and she kept coming and helping us, and we could talk to her freely about Shimon and Shlomik.
"With Dad it was different. He did not recover from the blows that fell on him. He did not shave the mourning beard, and when he came to our house I would rotate in advance the pictures of Shimon and Shlomik that were on the dresser, because he could not stand it. He was an outwardly strong man, But at the age of 59 he had a heart attack and died. It is clear to me that his heart was broken.
"After his death came another blow, when my brother Yossi died of a heart attack in the middle of his son's bar mitzvah celebration, at the age of 36."
Batsheva's life continued in the shadow of her brother. She managed to get up, by virtue of the life order and the urge to continue at the point where their lives ended. She worked as a teacher and educator in an elementary school, and cared for dropout youth as part of the Hila program.
At the age of 30, she divorced the father of her children, Uriel Weinberg.
She educated her children on the heritage of the uncles, on the love of the land, giving and Zionism.
"Dror did not get to know his uncles, he was only two years old when they fell. But when he grew up, he would stand by me on Memorial Day, proud, and from the moment he enlisted he always said, 'If anything happens to me, I want to be buried next to them.'
" Dror was very naughty.
I did not just call him Dror, after his birth was delayed.
He is born for freedom.
He was not a good student, did not like to go to school and did not like teachers.
I taught at the school he attended, and was called the morning news director.
It was not easy.
He graduated from law school without a high school diploma, but how talented he was, "her face shines.
" I did not raise him to be a military man.
All these years I made sure to say to him, doubtfully seriously, doubtfully with a laugh: 'Drori, you will be a jobnik and sell waffles at the checkpoint. I paid my debt to the state with my beloved brothers' money, you no longer owe.'
"As he prepared for the recruitment, I discovered qualities in him. That I did not know before.
Reliability, responsibility, integrity, friendship.
I remember he went to form a General Staff patrol, and I did not know what to do - pray for his failure or success. What mother prays for her son's failure? When the answer came he received, his big smile stretched across his face. I received the news with great joy, but with apprehension Big in heart.
"When he enlisted, I asked him, 'So where are you going, my son?', And he answered me in his characteristic silence: 'Mother, for you it's paratroopers.'
I asked him: 'And for you what?', And he replied: 'For me it is a General Staff patrol.'
'After his death I realized that he was accepted for formation not because of his physical fitness.
He was accepted because he had love and war, faith and responsibility, trust and integrity, family and friends, but and joy, the materials from which life is made.
"On the day of his enlistment, I was overwhelmed with feelings. I realized that apart from the Creator of the world, the military is the factor that affects the fate and lives of our children. I did not simply internalize this fact. Because of my inability to influence, I undertook to avoid confidential roles, tasks and challenges. ".
They would talk to each other in codes
"A year and a half after Dror, Shai also enlisted in the paratroopers. I took care of the bruises on my sons' bodies when they came on short vacations, without asking too many questions. I became a freak of news and broadcasts, listened to every bit of information and devoted myself to helping them in whatever way I could. The air, because I fly on the roads and drive Dror and Shai here and there.
"Dror would come back once every two weeks with knees and swollen fingers, he could barely hold a fork, but the smile did not come off his face, and it comforted me.
Everything was very secret with him, and then, when Shai moved to a transparent intelligence unit, I am still not sure which one, they had their secret language and their existence, and at the Shabbat table they would talk to each other in codes.
They complemented each other: Shai was responsible for the details underground, and Dror was forward, at the front. "
Dror participated in many secret operations, and one of them even received a commendation. In 1984, he participated in the operation to release hostages on Line 300, in which two terrorists and two were killed. They were captured, one passenger was killed, and
when he was 22, he married Hadassah, and they had six children: Yoav, 33, who is currently being discharged from the IDF after serving in Magellan and Egoz.
During Operation Eitan, Yoav was moderately injured;
Yael, (30) a teacher in a studio;
Eitan (27), who enlisted in the paratroopers after years of yeshiva studies;
Yishai (24), discharged from the army and working on an agricultural farm;
Uri (21) a yeshiva guy before enlistment;
And Dror Nehemiah (18), Schminist.
Weinberg commanded the 890th Paratroopers Regiment and the Magellan Unit, advancing with honors up the ranks.
"He had a vision, anchored in the connection to the values of the Torah of Israel, the people of Israel and the Land of Israel," says his mother, "he set himself goals and worked tirelessly to achieve them, and along the way swept others with constant encouragement and support. He was a revered commander, who knew his soldiers. And he knew what was happening to them in the houses, they were called 'Dror's children.'
"He was also a commander in the house.
My grandchildren tell me that even when he was not home, he was always home, they never felt his lack.
He would call, talk to all the kids in order, and not miss any of them.
"In his last position, he served as commander of the Judea Brigade (Hebron Brigade) in the Judea and Samaria Division, a position he particularly wanted.
He had already been appointed commander of the paratroopers' brigade, and after his death I realized that he had been appointed to the post of chief of staff. Chief of Staff Aviv Kochavi told me when we met: "Now I had to open the door of the courtroom and see Dror next to me."
A complex decision junction
On Friday, November 15, 2002, at the end of a busy week in which Dror moved to a new apartment in Jerusalem with his children and his pregnant wife, a hot alert was received about an impending attack in Hebron.
"Dror left everything behind and flew there," says Batsheva. "The right of the fathers and mothers of the nation was not enough to protect my eldest son, when the first runner faced the cruel enemy to protect a crowd of worshipers. He encountered an ambush planted by terrorists on the worshipers' axis, and was killed by fire." The first (three Nahal fighters, five border police officers and three members of the Kiryat Arba stand-by squad were also killed in the incident;
I lost my eldest son, and became not only a bereaved sister, but also a bereaved mother. "
How do we move on?
" That's a good question.
I'm asked if my previous experience has helped me deal with Dror's loss, and I immediately recall Bialik's poem, 'Put me under your wing, and be my mother and sister,' and try to understand what the poet meant.
For here, I am a mother and a sister, who has lost her loved ones.
After 35 years of running through memorial rallies of the Armored Corps, where my two brothers served, I decided I had enough of it, that I had no more strength.
Who imagined that in a short time I would return to memorial rallies in Dror's memory, in the various units in which he served.
"I would rather walk around all the bases of the country and tell about Dror's legacy than cry over the cold marble in the cemetery. I can't do that. I would like to hug him again, kiss him, but at least I take comfort in the fact that he heard from me all the time I love him.
" Everyone keeps asking me how to proceed, but what's the other choice facing me?
Get in bed and not get out?
I know several couples of such parents, who have lost the taste for their lives.
"During the most difficult hours, I stood at an uncomplicated decision junction: whether to wrap myself in mourning clothes and sink into my bereavement, or to go the other way, the one that says that along with the backpack on bereavement, I walk with my head held high and enjoy the glory of my family, expanding. Four months later. "His fall gave birth to another grandson, Dror Nehemiah, named after his father. I must be strong for my grandchildren, otherwise my grandchildren will not have a grandmother."
Sometimes time is negligent
"Shai was different from Dror," says Batsheva, "there was a year and a half difference between them. I raised them like twins. Shai was very tall, almost 1.84 meters, Dror was barely 1.70. Dror was very extroverted, Shai had quiet and inner charisma, and he He was modest. Dror would get a map for navigation, study it all day, and have to study a little more at night. Shai would see a map, and in a short time he would know it by heart.
"He graduated as a lieutenant, studied for a bachelor's degree in business administration and went to Atlanta to do a master's degree. .
He graduated as an outstanding dean, and there he met Diana, with whom he married in the country.
A month before their wedding, a malignant tumor was discovered in his head.
He underwent surgery, underwent chemotherapy and recovered, and after the wedding he returned with Diana to the United States. He worked as an analyst in the high-tech industry, and she was a university lecturer in marketing. There they had a trio of daughters: Keren, Daniela and Natalie
.
Keren and Daniela are soldiers in Modi'in, Natalie is studying in the United States. When the girls were a year old, Dror asked Meshi to return to Israel. He told him: "Come back, your place here, with us." Within a week, Shai, his wife and daughters returned to Israel. "
Shortly after Dror was killed, the pain returned to Shai.
"Again the same pressure in the head, and the realization that the tumor has returned, and this time violently," says Batsheva in a low voice.
"In 2005, when he was 38, I also lost my second son. Just like my mother, I also lost two sons."
What do you say to the Creator of the world?
"Very angry. Ask why I am. I also found myself very irrationally angry with my mother, who here I am just like her, and how she did not take care of me from above, how she did not take care of my children. I admit that after the Six Day War and the great loss Of my brother, my faith was greatly undermined. Somehow I gave up religion. But I could not and did not want to give up the Sabbath.
"When Dror and Shai returned from the army on Friday, there were no quarrels over who would take the car or deliberation 'Which bar will we go to, what will we do tonight?' .
We all sat together around the Shabbat table, and this family atmosphere was a pleasure.
Even after I lost my children I continued to keep the Sabbath for my grandchildren. "
Can time heal the pain?
" Some say that time does its thing, that time heals, but sometimes time is negligent, and in fact there is no cure for pain and sadness. "
Five, side by side
In the military section of the cemetery in Kfar Saba are buried, side by side, Sergeant Shimon Koenigsbach and Lt. Shlomo Koenigsbach, two brothers of Batsheva;
Col. Dror Weinberg and Shai Weinberg, her two sons; and Lt. Col. (Res.) Dr. Avi Harlev, son-in-law.
"I have fourteen particularly charming grandchildren, who are my source of strength," she says, and her confident voice cracks for the first time. "Dror's children, Shai's girls and Shlomit's children.
None of them have a father.
The thought of them missing a father kills me with sorrow. "The
fragments that followed her son-in-law's sudden and surprising death have not yet been collected. The series of disasters also overwhelmed her, the one who is said to be the Iron Woman, because how much can hurt.
" At my father's seven a local rabbi came and spoke to the crowd. .
Then he turned to me.
I do not know him, I have never seen him, and he does not know me.
He looked at me and said, 'You are strong here, take care of your family.'
So that's what I need to do.
I have no other choice.
I have to take care of my family, I can not afford to be weak. "
She makes sure to visit Shlomit's house, and is happy that she is back at work, back to giving birth to babies." I go to her to be there for her.
Getting in the car and giving gas, until Sansana.
"Shortly after the disaster I went to a well-known rabbi to receive a blessing from him. He said to me: 'Batsheva, live in your blood'. This is the truth of my life," her voice broke again, "I lost so much blood, but I must continue to live. I have for "Who to live with. I have grandchildren, I have great-grandchildren, I love them so much and I am proud of them. I have someone to get up for in the morning."
"Batsheva is my iron wife"
1,500 bereaved parents and 4,500 bereaved siblings are adopted by the "Light for Families" organization, founded 13 years ago by Lt. Col. (Res.) Irit Oren Gonders.
The association regrets the message "Strengthen and strengthen, choose life", and organizes activities for parents Bereavement, fun days, workshops and meetings before holidays, trips abroad and meetings with the Jewish communities, and regular meetings of parent groups who share a common interest.
The association provides assistance from professionals and experts for support and advice in a variety of areas: personal, medical, legal, and more.
Bereaved siblings receive higher education scholarships.
In recent years, the association has been working for mothers and families who want to have another child after the loss.
"In the IDF, I headed a branch of officers in the Combat Engineering Corps, I lost soldiers in the various wars, and then I took a vow to make their families smile.
This is the task of my life.
"I knew Dror as a talented officer in the IDF.
I was sitting in the placement yeshiva where it was decided to promote him to the brigade commander, he was a real prodigy. After he was killed I knew Batsheva, she is my iron wife. She belongs to a group of parents who mentor new bereaved families. And how much strength and charisma and strength and determination she brings with her. Although and though.
"This year we had a very challenging year because we could not get together, I could not fly the families abroad. But we did not give up on meetings with the families and the warm hug, which is important for us to give."
hagitr@israelhayom.co.il