Age! - The Midlife Column: How My World Has Shrunk

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Photo: Daria Garnik / iStockphoto / Getty Images

For a few months now I've been dreading the day when Anke, the colleague in charge of this column, answers to ask about the next text: "Do you have something?" A topic, an idea?

The answer is now more and more difficult for me.

Do i have what

Sure: hardly any input.

As do many of us.

I'm not a city dweller, we live here in a 7,000-inhabitant town, a suburb of a 40,000-inhabitant city, but I haven't been there for months.

What for?

Over the winter, life has been condensed into a small area.

Home office from morning to evening, then I often go for a walk with me, around the block when the weather is bad, around the village when the weather is good.

Sometimes I meet someone, small talk at a distance, but that's the exception.

Having social contacts is synonymous with seeing the children, talking to the neighbors over the fence, otherwise there is the phone, WhatsApp, Facebook and a video conference with friends every few months.

It's a bit like what I imagine wintering in Antarctica to be.

Do i have what

Pathogens are like earthquakes

No idea.

A lot of work and a lot of rest.

I don't feel annoyed, but rather unusually relaxed.

Last weekend I lay in the garden in the evening, reading something and listening to the birds.

I never did before, was always too restless.

Basically, I am satisfied, I do not feel this anger that worries many at the moment.

Anger at who or what?

Pathogens like thunderstorms, earthquakes or meteor strikes are not among the things I would hold the local mayor responsible for.

If someone is to blame for Covid, it is all of us: Pandemics are a logical consequence of our way of life, with global travel between cities full of pick-packs.

Covid is neither chance nor fate, but karma.

Not in the sense of "nature's revenge", but in the sense of "our mistakes are avenged."

What points the way out: We will have to change something.

And at the moment, unfortunately, that means above all that we have to rob ourselves of our most precious asset: freedom of movement and social contacts.

That's not nice, but more bearable than the alternative.

A few days ago I was talking to a relative.

He's my age and he's always been a fun bird.

Now he's just learning to walk again and is still a little "slow in the head," as he puts it: after-effects of Covid and artificial coma.

Will take a long time, say his doctors.

Let's see.

Maybe that's his new normal.

The experts call it Long Covid. “Just be careful,” he says, “that you don't catch the crap.

It's not funny. "

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That motivates you to keep your feet still.

The days pass calmly and evenly, we harmonize and do not argue.

Covid is the ultimate litmus test for couples.

Fiona is, however, more annoyed than me, she needs her contacts, has to be always on the go.

If that is not possible, she will be irritated.

I am more frugal.

This is also due to the fact that I have a lot of practice, at least with the currently normal form of work: I've been working from home for 20 years.

I have a regular office with lots of light and I like that too: close the door, work with concentration.

In times of Covid this is a luxury.

The wait for a vaccination tie has begun

"So what's new?" A friend asks me on the phone, and I have to think of Anke: different question, same answer.

"Works," I lie, "everything is great."

We chat about everything except things that happened due to lack of supply.

"What gets me down," I say, "is that there is hardly a day when you think in the evening: Wow, that was really surprising, I didn't expect that!"

Yeah, he says, that's how it is now.

This is the new normal.

I hope not.

"Have you already been vaccinated?" I hear more and more frequently on the phone and feel the hope rise: Unvaccinated people meet first and first vaccinated people, the wait for a tie has begun, feet scratch audibly.

Because surely it is the case that you can meet again, at least from time to time, right?

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Not to have a party, to go out or anything.

You get humble: a wine together, a beer.

Go eat something.

Getting back a bit of normalcy.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Sure, I say.

Would be really great.

What could have been done than what could be done

What is a lie.

It would be great to celebrate like there's no tomorrow.

Standing in front of the stage in a club, feeling the bass on your diaphragm.

To feel the feverish excitement before a stadium concert tingle in your fingertips, to shout The Police again, "So lonely!" And not to be alone at all.

"Is that really what you are missing?" Asks friend Ralf and laughs: "It's not like we had that all the time before."

No, we didn't.

But we could have had it anytime, and that's the difference.

If there is one thing that makes me uneasy and dissatisfied, it is the thought of what you could have done when you could have done it.

As I said: we will have to change something once Covid has become a bit more manageable. Don't leave the little things that are possible in the subjunctive. More out of the house: That would be a nice new normal.

And you like that?