Emma becomes a woman at 57, opens a restaurant where trans people are customers like any other

She allows herself one last pain au chocolat.

The cut of her delicate hands, engulfs her with a little girl's gluttony.

Nothing serious about "this gap before the summer".

The reopening of his restaurant on May 19 predicts an express diet to run between the bar and the terrace.

Reservations are full since the announcement of deconfinement.

Like all restaurateurs, Emma counts the days.

However, for her, seeing customers return far exceeds the economic situation of her business opened last August.

Behind the bar Oh!

Quai Latin, located on Quai des Grands Augustins (Paris 6th arrondissement), Emma has finally found her place as a fulfilled woman.

Recognized in broad daylight.

It was time, a question of survival.

She took 57 years to allow herself this femininity that drummed with distress in her male body since childhood.

Transgender, she wants to make her restaurant an open place so that everyone, whatever their gender, can feel as free and happy as they finally are.

No need for a banner, she and her partner reject "LGBT communalism that locks up".

Married, three children, boss in the construction industry

Born Emmanuel at the dawn of the 1960s which did not make gender a question, let alone a freedom, Emma was born again three years ago. A rebirth that she owes not only to hormones or to the vaginoplasty carried out in February 2020 which completed giving shape to her female body. The delivery was long. Painful labor. It took her years to agree to come out of the intimate hiding place in which she had locked herself in order to remain "in the norm".

Behind his glasses with bright red frames, matching his nails, his barely painted eyes are a well of tenderness.

That of sensitive hearts that have worn themselves out in battle without leaving their spark.

Emma's voice flows like a mountain stream rolling some gravel.

And takes you into the story that she makes of herself in a serene round.

The first time she sought to bring the woman calling her to life, Emma was not yet ten years old.

The then little boy had pulled his mother's nightie out of the dirty laundry bag to look at himself in the mirror.

As a teenager, she took advantage of every free moment to isolate herself.

The eldest of three sisters and one brother awkwardly put on makeup to disguise himself in the secrecy of his repressed identity.

No one suspected anything.

She herself didn't dare believe it.

Emmanuel married a dancer at 23.

They will have three children.

He promises himself that he will "calm down and become normal".

Then very quickly, the temptation grows stronger.

“My wife often went on tour, her things were there, it took hold of me.

I took a picture of myself, I didn't go out, I didn't talk about it.

As soon as she got home, it was the start of the fight, I stashed everything, ”laughs Emma, ​​reversing her ash blonde brushing.

"The fear of others kept me in my hidden world"

Head of a wholesaler of electrical equipment which "he" took over in 1995, Emma had her own room to store her treasures. Shoes, wigs, makeup, dresses and skirts. Gifts to his wife she pretended in the shops. “Sometimes I threw everything, I was ashamed,” confesses the smart sexagenarian by replacing the fluid neckline of her spring dress. One day, she forgets a bottle of makeup remover in the bathroom of her family home in Charenton (Val-de-Marne). “My wife thought I had a mistress, I had to explain it to her. She understood, it relieved me, a person finally knew. But we locked ourselves in a long silence before she really accepted ”. Since then the two women are "more in love than ever".

It was 2005, Emma continues to believe that she can wait until she retires to become who she has always been. Impossible to face his employees in high heels: "I was a boss in the construction sector, to announce it meant for me to lose all credibility and the fear of others kept me in my hidden world". But the machine was on. A diesel engine that has taken its time to find its speed. Four years later she offers herself a permanent hair removal, "when you work as a guy you don't show your legs". Then push the door of a speech therapist and a speech therapist to adopt a more feminine tone. The one who was beginning to "come out" finally dared to speak.

Emma meets other trans people including Tara Wels, an activist in transidentity with whom she opened the restaurant last August Quai des Grands Augustin.

“It was on the occasion of a great evening which brings together trans from all over France.

She was all alone in a small corner so I invited her to my circle, tells Tara with generous exuberance.

She found me on social media and we became friends.

I haven't experienced the same suffering as Emma, ​​I have been called miss since I was 16, in a way I helped her to assert herself ”.

"It's a physical and mental upheaval"

Emma then begins her hormonal transition in 2017. Resells the shares of her company in 2019. Throws away "her boyish clothes" the next day with relish. And spent two years with a shrink she hoped for "a tamponade" to allow her to be a woman. Hypnosis will help her to free herself from a conflict of legitimacy: "When you have not had the life of a little girl, you will always be a different woman, it is a physical and mental upheaval that you have to digest. before coming out ”.

His had mixed effects.

His children of 31, 29 and 23 who continue to call him "daddy" understood.

His brother and two of his sisters too.

The last one resumes contact with difficulty.

Her father, on the other hand, will discover Emma this Tuesday evening in front of his television.

She testifies in the program "They move the lines" on France 5 devoted to transidentity.

“My mom passed away last year, I went to the funeral dressed as a guy, I couldn't do that to her under these circumstances.

I will call her afterwards to explain to her and my family will do the after-sales service, I couldn't do otherwise, ”she still needs to justify.

Since February, Emma, ​​who will never deny Emmanuel, has been able to officially change her first name.

The procedure is underway for his sex to be recognized by the Republic.

It will take time for Emma to stop looking for "the enemy in the ice" as Alain Chamfort sings.

Find Emma's testimony this Tuesday at 8:50 pm on France 5 in "They move the lines: transidentity, the fight to be oneself", with Olivier Delacroix.