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New York in spring.
After the deadly Corona year, life is awakening again in the metropolis.
But when Jennifer Murphy strolls through her neighborhood in Brooklyn, the images from the first wave of pandemics all come up again.
Jennifer Murphy, Volunteer Paramedic
“The only sound in town was the ambulance sirens - non-stop, day and night.
It was awful.
A nightmare.
We were afraid.
The patients were afraid.
The relatives were desperate because they weren't allowed to ride in the ambulance.
It was really a nightmare. "
Jennifer Murphy is a full-time investigator in insurance matters, but for several years the 45-year-old has been working as a paramedic in New York twice a week: on a voluntary basis, i.e. without pay.
She continued to shift shifts even after the pandemic broke out.
In spring 2020, New York was a hotspot of the pandemic - in no other city in the world more people died of Covid-19 than here, sometimes up to 1000 a day.
Jennifer Murphy, Volunteer Paramedic
“The worst part was that we couldn't alleviate the suffering of the patients.
Usually we drive the ambulance over to someone, take the patient to the hospital, and that's it.
A short mission.
But afterwards you always had the feeling that you had put the patient in better hands.
In the pandemic it was the other way around.
We had the feeling that if we take the patient to the hospital, then in the end he will be worse off than before. "
The pictures from the overcrowded hospitals went around the world.
At the forefront: paramedics, doctors and nursing staff - sometimes only inadequately equipped with protective clothing, faced with death every day.
Murphy began to keep a journal after each shift.
She felt how much it helped her to process her impressions.
A book has now emerged from this.
Excerpt from
“First Responders: Life, Death, and Love on New York City's Frontlines: A Memoir”
“That was the worst thing about the virus: standing next to this man who was losing someone.
And I took his father with me, whom he wanted so badly to protect.
But that was our job as paramedics: we had to go into the houses and take away loved ones from people. "
Jennifer Murphy, Volunteer Paramedic
“I think it helped me organize and structure myself. It made me feel that everything I had experienced helps someone else. But for that I had to go through it all again. So you ride in an ambulance and gain experience. But so that the reader can empathize with everything, you have to relive it while writing. On the one hand, I believe that the book saved me because it enabled me to tell my story. On the other hand, many experiences were really toxic. Most nights I cried while I was writing. "
Murphy found a way to process her experiences.
Others did not succeed.
Lorna Breen, 49, an experienced senior physician in an emergency room in Manhattan, committed suicide in April 2020.
The news of her death caused dismay and was a topic nationwide.
Lorna Breen's death caught her relatives completely unprepared.
Corey Feist, Lorna Bree's brother-in-law
“Lorna had ambitions, she always wanted to be a doctor and she had directed her entire life towards it.
When she wasn't working, she snowboarded or traveled to discover a new country or visited her eight nieces and nephews.
She loved life and always tried to make the best of it. "
In mid-March, Breen infected himself with the corona virus.
When she returned to work after two weeks of recovery, the situation in the hospital had deteriorated dramatically.
Corey Feist, Lorna Bree's brother-in-law
“She was overwhelmed by so much death and dying.
So many people died in the hospital waiting for treatment.
Outside she saw queues of ambulances - she was so overwhelmed by it, she couldn't handle it. "
Also, Breen was afraid to seek professional help.
Because in many US states, doctors have to provide their employer with information about it.
Corey Feist, Lorna Bree's brother-in-law
“She was terrified that psychological treatment would harm her career.
She feared losing her job and that even her medical license would be at stake.
And she was afraid that it would damage her reputation and lose the respect of her colleagues if she sought help. "
Stress, overwork and great responsibility: this is what healthcare workers struggle with over and over again.
An average of 400 doctors commit suicide each year in the United States.
And during the corona pandemic, the workload increased.
According to a study by Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, 40 percent of doctors and nurses in the city suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety in the spring of 2020.
Lorna Bree's relatives are now working to ensure that more is done for the mental health of this professional group.
With a foundation they are fighting for more offers for burnout and suicide prevention in the health care system.
Corey Feist, Lorna Bree's brother-in-law
»Our goal is to reduce overload and increase job satisfaction.
We want to ensure that taking care of one's mental health is seen as a strength rather than a weakness. "
In collaboration with health experts and members of parliament, this has resulted in a non-partisan bill that is soon to be passed in Congress.
Corey Feist, Lorna Bree's brother-in-law
“We can't bring her back with this, but this work was never about Lorna.
It was about the others.
Lorna always took care of her colleagues.
That's why we have the feeling that we are continuing their work with it. "
Jennifer Murphy on her way to her favorite cafe.
She is relieved that life is returning to the streets with the vaccinations.
But the past 15 months have left their mark.
Completely carefree like other New Yorkers, she could not go on.
Jennifer Murphy, Volunteer Paramedic
“Corona is complicated because most people didn't see the consequences.
They weren't allowed to come to the hospital, they didn't see the refrigerated trucks and body bags.
They didn't see the patients suffocate.
But once you've experienced that, it's hard to see large groups of people and to feel good about them. "
Murphy wants to use her book to make known how much paramedics have done in the Corona crisis.
And work to ensure that they are paid more appropriately.
They currently earn close to $ 30,000 a year - the same amount as garbage disposal workers.