The Limited Times

Now you can see non-English news...

Two mothers, one father: "Few families are still traditional"

2021-06-02T07:14:19.619Z


Rainbow and blended families often find it difficult to exercise rights and duties for their children. The Green politician Karl Bär from Holzkirchen is therefore campaigning for the liberalization of family and parentage law. He also has a daughter who lives with her two mothers.


Rainbow and blended families often find it difficult to exercise rights and duties for their children.

The Green politician Karl Bär from Holzkirchen is therefore campaigning for the liberalization of family and parentage law.

He also has a daughter who lives with her two mothers.

Holzkirchen

- Sometimes men his age ask him if he is unhappy. “But I've never regretted my decision,” says Karl Bär. When his daughter's mother was pregnant, the man from Holzkirchen went to the notary and had himself certified as a “sperm donor”. “With that I have virtually ceded all of my rights to my biological child.” In this way, Bär also simplified the stepchild adoption by the mother's wife, who was socially mom since birth. Bear's daughter lives with the lesbian couple in another city. Nevertheless, he maintains a close relationship with his child and visits them regularly. The little one says "Grandma" to his mom. “I'm part of the family, even if I don't live there.” Bär himself is heterosexual.

The municipality and district council of Bär advocates the rights of rainbow families like his - in which same-sex partners are involved - as well as of blended families.

The 36-year-old is also a direct candidate for the Green Party in the Bad Tölz-Wolfratshausen / Miesbach constituency for the 2021 federal election.

"De facto three parents, de jure only one mother"

Bear is a politician who lives what he preaches. And that's what it's all about: if a woman who is married to a man has a child, her husband automatically counts as the father. If a woman is married to a woman, the wife is not considered a recognized parent. The stepchild adoption takes a good year. The problem: “During the transition phase, the child has de facto three parents, but de jure only one mother.” If the mother died, it would be unclear who was legally responsible for the child. If the co-mother dies, inheritance issues are difficult. “Every step has to be certified.” And costs money.

That is why Bär advocates social parenting - and this is what it says in the Green election program. That applies to rainbow and blended families. Here, too, a legal instrument is needed that gives the new partners rights over children. For example when it comes to signing a letter for school. Bär also wants social parenting for his three-year-old daughter.

At the same time, it should be prevented that the child is later responsible for three or four parents when it comes to care.

And social parenting shouldn't be used to evade inheritance taxes.

Taking into account such subtleties, a liberalization of family and parentage law is urgently needed in Bär's eyes.

The Federal Council is also dealing with a reform.

Furthermore, the Federal Constitutional Court will soon deal with the situation of two-mother families.

"Whoever takes responsibility should get rights"

Martina Passreiter (43) from Unterdarching thinks that something has to change in this direction, because: “Those who take responsibility should get rights.” Passreiter also lives in a rainbow family. She has been married to her wife for eight years, and they have a four-year-old and a six-year-old son. “I am the birth mother of both of them,” explains Passreiter. The biological father is Ludwig Stürzer from Wall. The 38-year-old is gay and an old friend. When the 43-year-old got to know him, she thought: “I like him.” After the wedding, the two women wanted children. “The first idea was to go to the sperm bank.” The second was to ask Stürzer. He wanted children. And agreed.

Stürzer ceded custody, and Passreiter's wife adopted both boys.

However, the family would like to have custody of three parents.

“There are three of us in custody.” The three of them make decisions such as choosing a school in family conferences.

Legally, the father's hands are tied.

“If we were to disagree, he would have no rights and obligations.” However, the three of them signed a notarized contract that regulates certain things.

The family feels fully integrated in the village.

“I'm pleasantly surprised at how well this is accepted.” Nonetheless, she believes that legal recognition would mean wider social acceptance.

"Very few families are still traditional"

Barbara Waßmundt (30) from Holzkirchen, who lives in a blended family, thinks the same. "The viewing habits have to change," says the optician. She and her partner Frederik Schreiber have a son, two-year-old Mischa. Schreiber has another child from his first marriage. The eight-year-old lives alternately with his mother and father. "I see myself as an addition for him," says Waßmundt.

"Very few families today are still structured in a traditional way." The rigid construct of father, mother and child is outdated.

Waßmundt had this experience in her own childhood.

She never met her birth father.

In return, she had a close relationship with her adoptive father and a later partner of her mother.

She hates expressions like "this ain't your real dad".

Your children shouldn't feel that.

“You shouldn't get the feeling that your family is wrong,” she emphasizes.

"It's just as good as it is."

mar

Source: merkur

All news articles on 2021-06-02

You may like

Life/Entertain 2024-03-12T11:05:30.025Z

Trends 24h

News/Politics 2024-03-28T06:04:53.137Z

Latest

© Communities 2019 - Privacy

The information on this site is from external sources that are not under our control.
The inclusion of any links does not necessarily imply a recommendation or endorse the views expressed within them.