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(CNN) - You look at
the ceiling of your room, wanting to go to sleep.
Thoughts run through your head, holding your mind hostage.
Or you reflect on the awkward conversation you had with your boss on the way home from work.
Overthinking can happen at any time of the day or night and can leave people frozen in indecision.
People are often trapped by their own thoughts because they are striving for perfection or trying to find a way to control a situation, said Kimber Shelton, a psychologist and owner of KLS Counseling & Consulting Services in Duncanville, Texas.
"We want to discover all the angles and be able to control what would happen if this happened, and we get stuck in this process of overthinking," he said.
When people overthink, Shelton said, their thoughts start to spin and they can't find a conclusion.
Mishandled or embarrassing thoughts of past events can also upset people and lead them to replay the events in their head over and over again, he added.
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Overthinking people have trouble prioritizing their problems and understanding what problems are under their control, said Deborah Serani, a psychologist and adjunct professor at the Gordon F. Derner Institute for Advanced Psychological Studies at Adelphi University in Garden City, New York.
How to break the cycle of overthinking
Serani created a five-step process to escape the never-ending cycle of overthinking.
Step One:
The first step is to be aware when you are overthinking, he said.
Sometimes other people will point it out to you, and while it can be irritating to listen to, it is helpful in learning to detect it within yourself.
For her, Serani said her palms get sweaty and her heart starts to beat faster when she thinks too much.
Step Two:
The next step is to take a step back and gain perspective on what it is that you are overthinking and if you have any control over it.
"Am I thinking about something that is beyond my control, or is it something I can control?" Said Serani.
You may not be able to control the traffic, but maybe you can control the route you take next time, the GPS you use to get around traffic jams, the drink in your cup holder and how you react to the situation.
If it's something you can't control, you can tell yourself, "I really have to prioritize what I have the ability to change," and this is beyond my ability to change, Serani said.
Step Three:
If the situation is under your control, the third step is to be in the moment and isolate the singular problem.
Step Four:
Once you have identified a problem, the next step is to set a time limit on how long you will spend solving the problem.
It's important not to dwell on the problem over and over again, which is not productive in solving the problem at hand, Serani said.
For example, if you're stuck in traffic and you're going to be late for an appointment, a troubleshooter might look for alternate routes, call the person you're meeting with to let them know you'll be late, or take a deep breath while listening to the radio.
Serani said someone who's mulling over the problem might think, "I can't believe I'm stuck in traffic" or, "I can't believe I'm going to be late for this appointment;
this doesn't look good to me professionally.
Step Five:
The final step is to acknowledge the little steps you took to solve your problem, even if you couldn't solve it completely.
"You are going to celebrate the fact that you took a situation, recognized that you were overthinking and that you tried to solve the problem," said Serani.
Many people may not be successful the first couple of times they practice this method, and she emphasized that it is normal to feel this way.
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Chill out at night
Overthinking affects many people at night while tossing and turning.
If incessant thoughts are keeping you awake, Shelton recommends that you schedule time to overthink.
"I will give myself five minutes and allow my brain to go where it needs to go," he said.
Afterward, engage in some relaxing self-care activities, such as bathing or listening to music, she added.
Another strategy is to write down your worries to allow your thoughts to escape your brain, Shelton said.
They can be written down as you think about them, or you can create a pros and cons list.
Overthinking while meditating
Meditation is a common self-care practice that focuses on having a thought-free mind.
For an overthinker, this can be especially difficult.
When you find your mind wandering during meditation, Shelton said realize that your thoughts have vanished.
Once you recognize that, refocus your mind on your breathing.
If you are a beginner, she said to start with 30 seconds of meditation and then slowly work your way up to longer times.
Meditation isn't something everyone can do, Serani said, and you don't want people to think they're failing if they can't do it.
Slow, relaxing activities like reading, walking or listening to music are a great alternative for hyperactive minds, she noted.
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Know when to seek professional help
If you find yourself overthinking for weeks or months, it may be time to seek professional help, Serani said.
You could have a mental disorder, such as generalized anxiety disorder, he said.
"Generalized anxiety is a very common experience, particularly since the COVID started, because there is a lot of pressure with the pandemic and life changes," said Serani.
Overthinking can also be triggered by past trauma, Shelton noted.
Therapy can help heal that trauma so that "our thoughts are no longer dictated by a past event, and we can create thoughts that are more grounded in current reality," he said.
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