Men are also afraid of violence in their own home

When you hear the term “domestic violence”, you think first of all of men who beat their wives.

This assumption is often justified - but not always.

More and more men who have been victims of domestic violence report to the victim protection association “Weißer Ring”, branch in Bad Tölz-Wolfratshausen.

Bad Tölz-Wolfratshausen - “It's no longer just isolated cases,” says Helgard van Hüllen, head of the Bad Tölz-Wolfratshausen branch. "At least 20 percent of the victims are said to be male." At the beginning of the corona pandemic, in March of last year, it was briefly quiet in the branch office, but after that all the more victims reported, says the director: "Looking at the year, We are seeing an increase. ”Overall, the“ White Ring ”in the district helped over 100 people seeking advice. Whereby this number alone is not very meaningful. In the past, the association had dealt with a large number of victims of minor offenses, "so normal thefts and handbag theft, for example". Now it is primarily victims of serious cases, such as sexual crimes, who report themselves. "One or two conversations are not enoughwe have to be available as a contact person for a longer period of time. "

"Subject is shame"

Public relations work has probably contributed to the fact that more and more men now dare to turn to the “White Ring”, says van Hüllen.

“The topic is very shameful.” The classic case: men are portrayed by their women as small, stupid and inadequate in every respect: “Something like that works in the long run.

If you are constantly criticized, at some point you become insecure.

Self-esteem is destroyed and it is very difficult to take action against it. ”Some men are also“ completely paralyzed ”when women attack them like furies:“ They don't know how to deal with it at all. ”It is still going on However, the other way round, i.e. the men are the perpetrators and the women the victims.

In addition to the relationship dramas, the number of people who have become victims of telephone and Internet fraud is also increasing.

Van Hüllen listens to the case on the phone and then thinks about which helper might suit which victim: is a male or female interlocutor desired?

Does the victim need a very empathetic listener or one who expresses his or her opinion very directly?

Van Hüllen sends an email to her ten volunteers asking who has time to take on a case.

"We have a teacher, a former civil servant, a business economist, a student and me as a lawyer - all professional and age groups, right across the vegetable garden."

Helpers in the whole district

The helpers lived all over the district and were between the ages of 20 and 78. In the opinion of the branch manager, this diversity is the great strength of the association: “If there were only one permanent employee, all victims would have to get along with him. On the other hand, we can see who fits. ”She can offer a suitable contact person within half a day. In the discussions, the helpers try to find a solution. One person wants to act consistently and is looking for a lawyer; for others, couples therapy could be the right choice. Some want to move away immediately and need support. Sometimes therapy or a check for legal advice is the right tool. Still others want to move out, but have no suitable accommodation.In these cases, too, the “White Ring” tries to help.

The pandemic conditions changed communication, van Hüllen sums up. Direct contact is usually only possible through technical aids, and the helpers often met the victims outdoors for a walk. “That brings changes in the contact between the employees, but also in the victim support.” Most of the monthly team meetings could not take place in attendance. Despite the difficult framework conditions, things are going very well: "I am proud of the team at the branch office, we can fully rely on each other."

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