Everything came from an overflow for Emanouela Todorova. The creation of her Instagram account on July 10, 2020, on which she lists the testimonies of victims of sexist remarks and street harassment, was her response to "yet another situation where I was harassed in the public space", explains the 31-year-old. Creating a real breath of fresh air, this space has since collected, in a very short time, a phenomenal quantity of messages recounting similar attacks, making its community grow to 130,000 people today, and pushing it to the next level. : a book, which has just been released. The title of this “educational manual” for understanding, denouncing and taking action against harassment in public space is none other than that of his Insta account: “Say hello dirty bitch” (Leduc Editions).Voluntarily vulgar "because this is how we are spoken to", slices the militant author.
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"
Dirty whore
, it's the insult that comes up the most when you answer but also when you don't answer," admits Emma, 17.
“I have been taking the metro alone since the age of 14 for my schooling.
It's also the age when we start going to the movies with our friends, to sit down to eat something… In short, to do things without our parents, ”illustrates the teenager.
In three years, she no longer counts the "
hey charming
", "
pretty ass
", "
you have a mouth made to suck
», Staring eyes, friction in transport.
She has already been followed twice “to the point of having entered a shop once.
The follower then continued on his way ”.
She notices that this learning of autonomy includes more obstacles, fears and discomfort than for her "buddies".
100% of Ile-de-France transport users have been the victims of sexist and / or sexual harassment
Emanouela Todorova's work is thus intended as much for victims as for witnesses - “In order to stop with the spectator effect”, she explains - and also aims to challenge the harassers themselves. The overwhelming majority of acts of harassment are indeed provided by representatives of the male gender. According to a 2015 study by the High Council for Equality, 100% of Ile-de-France transport users had at the time been victims of sexist and / or sexual harassment, and according to an Ipsos survey dating from 2019, 81% of women in France have already suffered sexual harassment in public places and 26% of them have experienced it in the last twelve months. “The important thing for me was to pass on information, all the resources to act, useful contacts…”, adds Emanouela Todorova.
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And as harassment is a phenomenon that is not confined to the street, she does not fail to describe it at school, at work or even on social networks, returns to education (or even "
re-education"
) consent, the culture of rape, ordinary sexism ... In short, it comes back to everything that contributes to the fact that 25% of women have already given up leaving their homes, according to a study by the National delinquency observatory and criminal responses (2018).
In the Paris region alone, 32% of women say they are afraid of being alone in their neighborhood at night.
These few figures speak for themselves by posing a sinister observation, even if the author likes to say that her book "is not moralizing".
A book that she would also like to see, soon, in the libraries of the documentation and information centers of middle and high schools.
"I am working in this direction with the Ministry of National Education," she informs.
The objective is also to make interventions in the establishments.
"To do this, she awaits the approval of the association she has just created:" DBSP ", or" the initials of
Say hello dirty bitch.
It will undoubtedly go better, ”quips the thirty-something.
The 5D method of the international
Stand Up program
Among other reminders of emergency numbers, the existing legislative arsenal or even associations that can help, Emanouela Todorova highlights the 5D method of the international
Stand Up program
: distract, delegate, document, lead, dialogue. In short, reactions that can be used when faced with a situation of sexist or sexual harassment in the public space, depending on whether you are a witness or a victim.
"Distract" is, for example, when you witness this kind of scene, going to the victim and exclaiming "Hey, I've been looking for you for 10 minutes." We have to take the bus a little further ”. “To delegate” is to find a person who represents a form of authority to ask for help. “Document” is an invitation to discreetly film the scene and offer the victim to provide him with proof or to testify. "Leading" is to intervene directly with the person who harasses so that they stop. And finally "Dialogue" by reassuring the victim by confirming that what she has experienced is not acceptable. 86% of people don't know how to react when they witness bullying, here are some ideas.
Emanouela Todorova, author of the book "Say hello dirty bitch" (Ed.Leduc) against harassment in public spaces.
(Erik Lasalle)
What about the victims?
It is the same process: distracting the abuser by looking for the gaze of a witness and pretending that you know him, delegating as Emma did when entering a store to ask for help, documenting if you are in able to take pictures or film.
"Whatever happens, you have to trust your instincts and especially not to put yourself in danger", warns the author.
And for the more confident, ask the person who is harassing you aloud to stop,… and why not by describing the reason that makes you uncomfortable.
This is the method of Saphia, 28 years old. “I remember a fifty-something who touched himself in front of me, in the RER. It was two years ago. I took him to task by telling him that
masturbating in public is punishable by one year of imprisonment and a fine of 15,000 euros
. It calmed him straight down. »Reactions from other users? “People were outraged. Some even insulted him. He mumbled something and got out of the car at the next station. But now, I answered that because I do law and I had this information, ”analyzes the young woman. She also has another explanation that shivers down your spine: "I also knew that because it was the second time that this had happened to me ..."