Dear Alvarete:
The other day talking to your psychiatrist, a wonderful uncle, about how we could help from the foundation a group of children that he cares for, we raised several options, all of them involved getting a significant outlay of money to be able to buy material items from them. of a different nature that we believed could be useful to them.
We were very sorry to think about the material deficiencies that they could have or, in case of having said material, not be of sufficient quality;
things that other children of those same ages have several of each and do not give them enough importance.
The good doctor told us that all this was very good, but that we did not understand anything, that what those children really needed was affection.
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His words were like a jug of cold water for several reasons: first, because how could we have forgotten the most important need that every human being has in this life, to feel loved, and second, because being something so simple and that everyone the world can offer, since giving affection does not cost money, it is the most complicated task to achieve.
I have given this conversation many turns in my head, undoubtedly foundations have to find financial resources, many, to be able to help and facilitate the lives of the people we serve, but we should ask ourselves if we are really being able to give them love and make them not feel alone.
The objective cannot only be to make life easier for them, it has to be to change it, and that is impossible if they do not feel loved.
Foundations should be like parents to the people they serve.
A good father makes you feel loved even from a distance and gives you the peace of mind that, if you have a problem, you can go to him.
This sense of calm and affection continues while the parents live, even when they are older and they depend more on us than vice versa.
It is at least curious what it costs us to be affectionate with others, we tend to close ourselves in our own shell.
We are afraid to go out and show ourselves as we are, since we mistake our humanity for weakness.
And I say that it is curious because we all like people to be affectionate towards us, but, nevertheless, it is very difficult for us to be affectionate with others.
You, on the other hand, do not have this problem, you show yourself as you are, if you see someone crying you hug them, if you are happy you show it by jumping up and making noises of joy.
For society you are "crazy" for acting openly, but perhaps it is society that is "crazy" for withholding its feelings.
Would it really cost us so much to "lose" a little bit each day for others? A call, a coffee, a WhatsApp ... to the people who are close to us and who, due to various circumstances, are having a hard time ... This should not be so difficult to do. We would achieve a powerful objective, that these people feel loved and I assure you, from my own experience, that when someone knows they are loved, they feel invincible, it is like taking two shots of the Panoramix potion.
When you got sick for the first time some of my friends disappeared, mainly because of me, since I closed in on myself, but, nevertheless, others never stopped being there doing the only thing they could do: listen to me and give me encouragement. I am convinced that a large part of the strength that your mother and I draw every day to move forward and live with your illness is thanks to that magic potion, in the form of affection, that so many people who love us give us.
I would like to be able to find the formula to be able to offer affection in bulk, not only for the children that your psychiatrist attends, but for everyone, I am convinced that we would do much better.
In this sense, a great man once told me that we must first focus on giving affection to our closest circle and then gradually expand it.
If we all did this, following the theory of the six degrees of separation, the circles would soon become interconnected and we would have succeeded.
*
Álvaro Villanueva is Álvaro's father and is the
founder of
Fundación Luchadores Ava
(@alvaro_villanu)
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