It is on the first floor of a greyish building in the north of Paris, with any appearances, behind the Parc de la Villette, that we enter the lair of the National Federation of Solidarity Women (FNSF).
As in an old attic, boxes are strewn on the ground, piles of files are piled up here and there.
At the time of an unprecedented strengthening of its listening unit, part of the association left the premises, to make way for the thirty or so "
listeners
" of 3919. From the end of August, the 3919 will be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. A request from the State, which has made domestic violence one of its priorities.
The association says it is ready.
Read also: Is making domestic violence the "priority" of the police achievable?
In their common offices, which they share in three or four, the listeners are busy. Their mission: to listen; their weapons: gentleness, advice and encouragement. In the hushed and discreet atmosphere near the Parc de la Villette, where Emmanuel Macron himself had come in 2019, do not enter who wants. The golden rule is secrecy and anonymity, the very principle of the listening cell, where 400 to 500 calls from women in distress arrive every day. "
I don't know who you are, you don't know who I am, that's the deal. This allows women to be confident and not to fear any judgment,
”explains Françoise Brié, director of the FNSF. A single listener thus agreed to answer the
Figaro's
questions
, and to lift the veil on her listening profession.
"Monsieur is not there?"
I'm listening to you"
Zelhia Alkis, in her forties, has been working in the listening cell for three years.
Previously, she was "
in the field
" with the ELELE association, which fights against domestic violence, forced marriages and honor crimes.
“
When I arrived, I already knew the subject.
This allowed me to better understand situations and take control more quickly, obviously
”.
Despite the summer period and the teleworking rules, Zelhia makes a point of coming every day on site, between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m.
“
The busiest hours
,” she says.
Most call during working hours, when the spouse is not at home or when they are in the office themselves
”.
In the hushed silence of the premises, a bell rings. "
You are at 3919, for listening and guidance to women victims of domestic violence
", we hear muted on the other side of the wall, where the "
pre-reception
" is located. A few seconds later, a green phone appears on Zelhia's screen. The listener takes a few seconds, concentrates, puts on her helmet. "
A woman from 49, in her forties,
" explains her colleague soberly. Zelhia thanks and picks up: “
Domestic violence, hello?
".
Silence. "
Monsieur is not there?" Good. You have time ? Me too. I am listening to you
”. Exchanges like this one, Zelhia processes an average of ten per day. This can last between 15 and 20 minutes, or even up to 1 hour 30 minutes. This is a lot of listening punctuated by a few questions. Just what it takes to understand who the interlocutor is and to identify their needs. "
How long have you been together?" What happened with your husband?
“Asks the 40-year-old, whose gentle voice is reassuring.
The challenge of those who listen: understand and advise, always with respect for privacy and free will.
"
Through what you tell me, I understand that he is never satisfied with what you bring him
", emits the listener.
"
All I can tell you is that it is not normal to be afraid when you talk to him
", she continues, then, a little later: "C
ela, Madame c ' is blackmail
”.
Putting the facts into words and, finally, not letting your interlocutor leave unarmed.
"
You're in 49, is that right?"
I can give you the contact of SOS femmes in Angers.
But be careful, do not leave this paper lying around.
Keep it in a discreet place
”.
"To do this job, you have to believe in it"
Since the 2019 Grenelle highlighted their shadowy work, listeners have faced an exponential increase in calls.
In all, 100,000 calls were handled for the year 2020 alone, against 18,000 in 2009. A particularly strong increase with the first confinement.
“
Each one comes with its own history, its character and its questions
,” explains Zelhia.
Some pour out torrents of words, others find themselves helpless, still others only cry.
We are here to tell them that whatever the degree of violence they are victims of, it is serious and deserves attention
”.
Read also: The Drôme facing a boom in sexual and intrafamily assault
Once the phone is hung up, Zelhia does not hesitate to take a short break. "
You have to, to digest the exchange
". With a click on the common table displayed on the screen, it goes into standby. "
She was in her forties, but her voice was that of a 75-year
-
old woman,
" she says thoughtfully.
She was totally isolated, had no one strictly
”. But it is now a question of drawing a line on this last call, in order, already, to be ready to receive the next one.
Do you feel a sense of helplessness in the face of a wave of calls that never ends?
“
Not at all,
” she retorts
.
Whatever happens, this woman will have emptied her bag and won an exit key.
Maybe it will sprout in five years, 10 years, or never.
No matter.
I could listen to fifty in a day, I would have the same conviction when I picked up the phone.
But to do this job, you have to believe in it
”.
To read also: "He gives me two euros for lunch at noon": the ordeal of Odile, harassed by her husband until death
A drop of water in the ocean, perhaps, but one that turns out to be beneficial for many women.
According to a study unveiled on July 31 by the Ministry of the Interior, 35% of spousal murders in 2020 occurred when the victims had already suffered violence, whether physical, psychological or sexual.
In this job, you can also have a life in your hands.
"
Dramatic situations, a desire for suicide, the result of an ultra-violent argument ...
", soberly enumerates Zelhi.
It is then a question of inviting to lift anonymity, in order to reach the firefighters or the police: "
It does not happen every week, but it does happen
".
A long history of listening
The establishment of this line for women victims of domestic violence dates back to 1992. "
The objective was to break a murderous taboo, to meet those who are silent, who do not dare to speak about it
", explains Françoise Brié, the director. In 2007, the six-digit number became the famous 3919, which is easier to remember. While one in two victims of domestic violence does not dare talk to a loved one, the number is gradually becoming known. Before the Grenelle, barely 8% of the population had heard of 3919. Now, more than 64% of French people know it.
The listeners, exclusively female, are former psychologists, social workers, lawyers, marriage counselors or used to listening platforms. On their arrival, a one-month training course equips them on the principles of gender equality, legal culture, learning to listen accompanied by a more senior. “
Our role is to be a first listening, a first contact. We then direct them to our 73 associations making up the FNFS network in the region, as well as their partner associations. And, if necessary, we explain to them how to initiate legal proceedings,
”explains the director.
The listeners can unload the burden of confidences to an external psychologist, who comes every week to ensure the good constitution of attentive ears. "
For us, it is a question of guaranteeing the durability of the teams, that they do not exhaust themselves emotionally after a few months
", explains Françoise Brié.
Since the end of June, the cell has already taken a first step in the extension of hours with a reception 24 hours a day from Monday to Friday, and at weekends, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Clarisse, a young pre-listener, admits that she sometimes renews a call several times a day.
“
Call the police directly if you don't feel safe,
” she then slips, inviting her interlocutor to call back later.
To strengthen the workforce, 16 new listeners and pre-reception agents have been recruited over the past month.
When Zélhia Alkis ends her tenure at 5 p.m., the relief is already there for the night.
Four listeners are now on duty at night, here, Porte de la Villette, while the night sets in, bringing its share of stories and violence.
