Sentence
family law
Especially in the great freedom: establishing flexible vision arrangements with the help of mediation
During the corona crisis and the great freedom, divorced parents need to carefully plan their vision arrangements for their children.
Before arguments break out, the alternative of mediation is preferable for the couple over going to court
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Children
Summer Vacation
Shlomit Ben Shachar-Idan, in collaboration with Legal Zap
Thursday, 08 July 2021, 10:55 Updated: Sunday, 25 July 2021, 14:54
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What do you do on vacation?
(Photo: ShutterStock)
It was predictable, but still painful: according to reports in recent days, the corona crisis has caused severe damage to alimony payments. In recent months, there has been a hundreds of percent increase in the number of applications for foreclosures in alimony cases, which leads to the conclusion that those most hard hit by the crisis are divorced parents.
If all this is not enough, parents in general - but especially divorced parents - are now required to deal with a not-so-simple logistical and economic difficulty: the great freedom and the many expenses it entails. The need to take time off work and get financially organized for it often provokes difficult arguments between exes.
As we will explain in the next few lines, a successful way to deal with the difficulty is to establish temporary vision arrangements for the children that suit the period of great freedom and the different needs of the parents in the post-corona era. The way to do this is through mediation designed to establish an interim arrangement between the parents on this issue.
* The author is the founder of the Shlomot Center, which deals with mediation, conciliation and arbitration
From summer camps to junk food
Every parent knows that in the summer children go up more: from summer camps, through various attractions to going out to restaurants.
The many expenses produce many conflicts in relation to the children, especially between divorced parents.
For example, a conflict may arise around summer camps.
For which camp is the child registered, is it a cheap camp or an expensive camp?
Who pays for it?
Is the stay at the summer camp considered at the expense of the child's time spent with one of the parents or not?
Is this a summer camp that includes overnight accommodation?
In addition, there may be a conflict over the events you go to with the children in the summer: plays, shows, etc.
Among divorced parents the question will be asked who will pay for these events, and what is a legitimate expense for them?
It is always better for the parent who can purchase discounted tickets to be the one to actually pay.
Even the high spending on restaurants (let’s face it, especially on junk food) can lead to many conflicts. In the summer you go out a lot more out of the house with the kids, so you also eat a lot more outside. These expenses are not always appropriate, especially for those who have suffered an economic blow in Corona.
Let's talk about it in a divorce forum on a legal website >>
Another controversial topic in the summer may be for example trips abroad in July and August. When a divorced parent wants to travel abroad with his children he needs the approval of the other parent. However, instead of going to court on this issue, and waiting a long time for developments, it can be closed easily and pleasantly through mediation.
Many children need private lessons during the summer months to fill in gaps in school, and others who find themselves in a difficult mental state following the corona need treatment by a psychologist. Many divorced parents are required these months to decide who will fund these expenses and at what rate.
And yet we have not talked about the hottest potato that comes with having the child vaccinated against corona.
There are disagreements among some parents on this issue, and due to the many emotions that the vaccines generate, the issue may, unfortunately, lead many divorced parents to fight to the bitter end of each other this summer.
Summer recess may delay proceedings
To solve all the problems we have mentioned and characterize the post-Corona era and the great freedom a mediation procedure is much more appropriate to resolve from the court. First, because courts are slow and cumbersome. Legal proceedings are lengthy, around the corner is the summer break, and by the time you start determining who pays for the camp and how much, the great freedom will already be over.
Second, litigation is expensive. Lawyers charge a high fee, usually by the hour, and contacting them will cost you thousands of shekels, and in addition will involve additional costs such as paying a fee, expert opinions and more. Third, a court proceeding takes a heavy toll. Naturally, this class is not a pleasant experience, may be dragged into mutual slander, and leave much residue.
Fourth, the nature of the procedure in court is much more aggressive and purposeful compared to a mediation procedure. In mediation you can take off steam, shout, and even quarrel, but everything stays in the room. In court the procedure is very purposeful and cold, and the judge is not interested in the couple being harmed by each other.
Mediation procedure is much faster, pleasant, cheap and effective. The mediator only directs the parties, informs them what the law says on the relevant issue they are discussing, and details to them the existing risk and chance, if they roll the issue to the court.
Determining summer vision arrangements can result in a mediation process of a few hours, as opposed to many tedious hours of work in court. Such a procedure will never be conducted in a more pleasant and tolerant manner, and the parties will be able to formulate for themselves the arrangements that are truly appropriate and right for them.
These arrangements are also expected to be more flexible, and better suited to the changing needs of the spouses, compared to those that can be determined in court.
Shlomit Ben Shachar-Idan (Photo: courtesy of the photographer)
The need to establish a temporary arrangement appropriate to the circumstances
The special needs that arise during the great freedom and uneasy economic situation of many of the divorced parents in the post-Corona era necessitate preparation in advance and reaching agreements regarding the vision arrangements for the children during the summer months.
The best way to achieve this is through a mediation procedure that will ultimately create an interim agreement between the parents regarding these arrangements.
The temporary interim arrangement can be approved in court and given the force of a judgment.
It is important to emphasize that the procedure itself is conducted from an egalitarian and respectful starting point.
Everyone can take part in it: from all religions, sectors and genders, and also mixed couples, members of different religions, and gays and lesbians will find an equal and inclusive place in it.
It should be noted that the solutions in the procedure come from the parties themselves, and the mediator is the one who only directs them to solutions that are right for them.
* The author is the founder of the Shlomot Center, which deals with mediation, conciliation and arbitration, is listed on the court mediators' list, and assists many couples in resolving disputes in creative ways.
Phone: 053-2439263
Article courtesy of Zap Legal The
information presented in the article does not constitute legal advice or a substitute for it and does not constitute a recommendation for taking proceedings or avoiding proceedings.
Anyone who relies on the information in the article does so at his own risk
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