"A suitable emotional education offers our children the possibility of developing values ​​such as respect"

Adolescence occurs in almost the majority of families with conflicts, negotiations and worries that can undermine the relationships between them.

Patricia de Diego, certified coach in Business & Life Coaching by the New York University and in Parenting Educator by the New York State Parenting Education Partnership, offers tools to lay the foundations for optimal emotional development.

With more than 10 years of experience, De Diego has just launched his book

My Journey to Adolescence (Book I) (2019)

, the first of four, a practical format, based on neuroscience, psychology or emotional intelligence, which offers tools for the child, the adolescent and their family.

Patricia de Diego, certified coach in Business & Life Coaching by New York University.

QUESTION

.

Adolescence is always spoken of as a complex stage for the young person, but even more so for the family.

What does the adolescent need to pass this stage, comfortable, with aspirations, motivations ...?

What can you contribute as a professional and what can you explain to parents so that they can apply it at home on a daily basis?

ANSWER.

The adolescent fundamentally seeks autonomy and social acceptance.

You need to know that you live in a family environment where you feel loved, respected and accepted.

In addition, it is important that you reach adolescence knowing who you are and what you are like.

If this is achieved, you will get through puberty by feeling comfortable with yourself, by having your aspirations clear, or by finding your own motivations.

In a

family

coaching

process

, I work with the mother or father to identify the essential points for improvement, draw up a strategy with a goal and find how to face and overcome these difficult periods without much difficulty, bearing in mind that the main objective is to maintain the family well-being and the optimal emotional development of their children.

P

.

What would you explain to those parents who do not know the meaning of "emotional education"?

Do you think that families today assume that good personal and social development in adolescents derives from suitable emotional development?

And what is necessary to achieve it?

R. By

teaching our children a suitable emotional education we will be offering them, among others, the possibility of developing adaptive personalities;

values ​​such as tolerance, respect, responsibility or honesty;

skills such as empathy, commitment or assertiveness;

tools to identify opportunities for improvement and growth and, of course, to identify danger, know how to say no and self-control.

We all want our children to be able to create healthy and balanced social relationships, to know how to deepen and control their thinking, to be able to eliminate limiting beliefs ... But the truth is that we do not educate our children emotionally because we follow the inertia of human evolution, the education transmitted from parents to children and, because we do not know how to do it.

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Children who do not receive an ideal emotional development from their parents will manifest great deficiencies in adulthood that will lead them to have inappropriate behaviors, complicated personalities, a predisposition to addictions, depression, anxiety ... and, they will have to resort to psychological and psychiatric help.

My journey into adolescence

Q.

There are still many taboos in society, even in the family.

What is the family for you and what norms should exist in the family nucleus so that children do not feel judged or their emotions invalidated in different situations such as when you want to talk about sexual condition or gender identity?

R.

In our culture, the family is the essential pillar that sustains society.

Societies that have the value of the family integrated are more supportive and compassionate.

Families must understand that in the 21st century, one of the priorities in terms of evolutionary emotional development is that we are all capable of accepting and respecting each other and, if this is not part of the family environment, we cannot pretend to extrapolate it to society.

Those families that are capable of optimally educating their children emotionally, will be able to respect and support their decisions, even if they do not share them, whether they are decisions about their sexual condition or of any other nature.

Q.

Have you ever said that your job as a family coach is to guide, does the person who comes to you have to have any specific quality?

R

.

You must be interested, motivated, and willing to work through a coaching process in which the coach uses a combination of questions, listening, reflection, exercises, and feedback.

The person who comes to me and requests a

coaching

process

-the coachee-, develops the capacity for introspective thinking and, through their own verbalized responses to the questions and exercises that I present, the subconscious will continue working, hours or days later outside of sessions.

P

.

Can you tell me about your collection of books "My journey towards adolescence"?

What is the reader going to find and what does he want to convey concretely with Book I?

R.

The collection is aimed at children and adolescents so that they, with the help of an adult, can develop their emotional intelligence.

It is written in a very simple way so that all families can learn the concepts and put them into practice through coaching exercises, neurolinguistic programming (NLP), mindfulness and creative activities.

They will also find readings and with their travel companion, the adult, they will be able to understand and share.

In book I, four concepts, fundamental bases are worked on: self-esteem, self-knowledge, an exercise in NLP and a fundamental emotion: the happiness of each one.

My journey towards adolescence (Book I), by Patricia de Diego.

P

.

Strong minds is an innovative and pioneering project in Spain, why and what is its purpose?

A.

The books are adapted to the needs of any family and the ages of the children. They are flexible books in terms of methodology and ages. If the children are under seven or eight years old, it is the parents who use the book as a guide to know how they should educate their children. However, if the children are between the ages of seven and 16, they will be able to work on it themselves with the help of the adult. From the age of 17, the figure of the adult (traveling companion) can disappear if the adolescent wants to work on it himself. And finally, it is also recommended for any adult who has not received emotional education and wants to learn it.

Q.

What would you say to families who are going through a difficult situation due to their adolescent children's behavior problems?

How could the situation be contained?

R

.

I would tell them to seek help from a professional or if they prefer, to seek information and resources to work the problem on their own.

Although there are moments of explosion with the children, it is essential to find time to maintain an assertive conversation, based on affection, respect and with the intention of building a better relationship that leads to better behaviors.

Currently we have at our disposal studies, information, resources and professionals that can help us to educate our children emotionally and thus prevent us from continuing with an archaic education that does not have greater aspirations for the generations of this century.

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