Wedding at First Sight:
During the "Our Relationship to Where" conversation between Omri and Maayan, Omri taught Maayan and all of us a lesson in courtship about the importance of feedback.
He tells Maayan that he is prevented from his partner's feedback.
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He tells her that the feedback and reinforcements she gives him are the fuel for his continued courtship.
Because she does not give him feedback or flatter him, he does not continue.
When Maayan is sitting in Danny's clinic, she tells him that Omri told her that his feelings towards her do not rise.
Omri also told her explicitly that it was because she kept putting brakes on him.
From "Wedding at First Sight", courtesy of Keshet 12
We as viewers also feel that there is a mutual desire to create a relationship, but something is stuck and it does not rise.
Danny reads the situation accurately and asks her, "And what did you do to make him feel welcome?".
When she lingers with the answer, everything becomes clear.
Danny explains to her that Omri is busy asking how much she wants him because she does not show him that she really wants to.
He makes her realize that these are the brakes that Omri reports on, that prevent him from taking off.
Maayan reinforces his words when she says that Omri stopped hugging her, and when she asked him why, he replied that he was not sure she even wanted to.
Sometimes we forget that the other side is not sitting inside our head and reading our thoughts.
It seems obvious to us that he understands what we want, all the more so if our emotions are strong - then we have no need to show it explicitly.
What, it's not clear?
So this is, no.
What is ours may be taken for granted, often not at all understood by the other side.
He may see what we see and feel what we feel, but if we do not talk about it, we will not know, especially when the relationship is in its infancy and we still do not fully know and know how to interpret any other party's behavior and gaze automatically.
If you do not tell him, how will he know ?, from "Wedding at First Sight"
That's why it's important to talk, to say, to explain - and not just what he did not like.
It is also important to compliment and give positive feedback.
We all love to get compliments.
Men too, even the macho.
If Maayan had said to Omri, for example, while hugging her: "How I love that you hug me like that," he would not stop hugging her for a moment.
Doubt would not arise in him at all.
After Danny clarified to Maayan her mistake, she explained to him that she had never had a model of warmth and love, that she did not know how to show love to the other side.
Danny encourages her and tells her she can study.
And that's right.
We can all learn how to improve our courtship skills.
Both men and women.
When Omri sits in front of her and she is required to tell him she wants him, she is embarrassed, but does it.
At that second the feeling is that the room is suddenly lit.
Omri smiles happily, hugs her, and they seem to be embarking on a new and good path together.
Even in the car they say they feel good after the call at the clinic.
Maayan admits to the camera that she now has to apply what Danny taught her, and that will probably be difficult.
she is right.
Implementing a big change in the regular conduct of each of us is really difficult.
But if you have an attentive and open partner like Omri, and if you are dedicated to the process, it is definitely possible.
Happy ending, inshallah, all is well.
Maayan and Omri, from "Wedding at First Sight"
Daphne Teller is the
author of the practical guide to creating a relationship "
from all my educational suitors
" - all the secrets you have never been told to create a relationship.
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