09/04/2021 21:02
Clarín.com
Opinion
Updated 09/04/2021 21:38
First of all, let us remember that we are already in September and that
Argentina only has 34% of the population vaccinated with two doses while Chile reached 71% and Uruguay 72.5%
(on top of that, Lacalle Pou has already applied the third dose 15.3% of the Charruas). To the brilliant success of the local vaccination plan and the hit of the VIP Vaccination, we must add the fact that the Government rejected millions of American vaccines last year for reasons that
no one explained but that we all imagine
. As a consequence of this decision of the "president", the vice president and several others,
Thousands of Argentines died who could have been saved.
It is difficult for someone from the Government to pay for this
criminal act
, but we will remind them of it until the end of the world.
Having said that, which is the most important thing or possibly the only important thing, now let's talk about “fucking”.
And here it is necessary to quickly explain to those who read us from abroad that it is not a free guarangada bartoleada in the Spanish-speaking newspaper with the most subscribers in the world, but that effectively that little word, and all that it implies,
occupied the political agenda of the week
.
In an attempt to make herself known, the candidate Tolosa Paz said verbatim that "in Peronism it was always garchó" and thus introduced the subject (with pardon of the expressions, both "garchó" and "introduced").
Unfortunately, Tolosa nailed the phrase on Monday (with forgiveness for the word “nailed”), which is why all the possible jokes have already been made.
We could add a sandwich about some members of La Cámpora (with forgiveness for the word “member”) reported for sexual harassment and non-consensual garche attempts that were covered up as good machirulos, but we must not mix the wheat with the straw (again, sorry for the expression).
After the Tolosa show, Vidal appeared on Tuesday talking about drugs.
He tried to explain that a joint in Palermo is not the same as a gang of drug traffickers that sells joint on 1-11-14, and
ended up entangled in a string of indefensible assholes
.
No one will ever use the phrase "
has more street than Maria Eugenia Vidal
"
in this life
.
Luckily for Mariú, the Tolosa candidate was delighted with her moment of fame and on Wednesday she overshadowed Vidal by saying verbatim: "
The young man who wants to leave the country who comes to have a mate with me and I convince him to stay
." Even supposing that there is yerba, it would give the impression that in the absence of results they want to seduce you by heating up the kettle (with forgiveness for "heating you up", "kettle", etc.). This note is already looking like a Sofovich movie.
On the other hand, while the candidate Santilli is doing humor sketches for Tik Tok in an old truck baptized as "Santileta" (a kind of Menemóvil but more tricksy), the candidate Javier Milei, one of the funniest comedians in the theater and the Argentine television, insulted Larreta with irreproducible words. At the same time, Teresa García, minister of Kicillof, asked young people "
not to watch television programs
." As an electoral proposal, in the midst of the greatest crisis in Argentine history, not only does it seem a bit poor but it also shows that this lady lives in prehistory. Kids stopped watching television years ago.
For his part, the candidate Randazzo launched a spot in which he pretends to be talking on the cell phone with his mother who tells him: “
explain this pelotu people…
” Randazzo stops her but she insists: “What? Is Cristina the only one who can whistle? " This Randazzo spot inspired Sergio Berni who on Thursday broadcast his own spot where his mother (Berni's) calls him just when the guy is supposed to have a procedure. "
Hi ma, I'm raiding,
" says Berni when he takes care of her. Luckily, Berni's spot is current. If I had recorded it in January 2015, it would have started like this: “
Hello ma, I'm in the Nisman derpa…
”. (Berni's) mother tells him… “
what a flower of quilombo!
"To which Berni stops her and says:"
stop, mom, you look like Randazzo's mom
”.
Then Berni cuts the call, knocks down a door and acts like the Sinaloa Cartel is being trapped.
Everything post.
Two days before, the Minister of Security of the Nation Sabina Frederic decided to
join the cast of comedians
declaring on the subject of security that "
Switzerland is calmer but more boring
."
Believe it or not, he said it.
As is well.
Among the candidates who want to fuck and joint and the candidates who have Oedipus problems, I do not know if we are going to improve the investment climate, but surely we are going to have fun like crazy.
In Together for Change or Change or whatever they are called now (I would have called them Uniqlo and bye) the beating that Martín Tetaz gave Carlos Heller was celebrated
in the program “A Dos Voces”. After refuting everything Heller said with his computer and knowing that the guy was going to use his last minute to criticize Macri, Tetaz crowned the task by taking off his jacket and showing a T-shirt that said "
Ah, but Macri
." The win was celebrated by Uniqlo as if it were the Libertadores. With all due respect for Tetaz, giving a political dance on television to a man who, in the 21st century, shouts "Homeland or Death" and vindicates the Cuban dictatorship is abuse. It's not worth it, it's theft. If you are a democrat, save your money and don't humiliate the Chavista.
Macri was not far behind in the general debate and on Friday he said "
either they change or they are going to leave
." Mommy, dear cat. No one doubts his good intentions but it is clear that when he had a Civics and Political History class the guy snuck up and went to play golf. Today we pay the consequences. Sad fate of the Argentine Republicans who have to defend the Constitution with this boy.
Cafiero came out to cross it, who has the same political authority as my aunt Jieshke, and then Máximo joined in saying that "
Macri has to calm down and lower a change
." A phrase that would show him as a civilized guy if it weren't for the fact that a month ago he said in Congress: "
I don't want a country that has to give in to the whims of foreign laboratories,
" thus confessing that they sent thousands of people to die. Argentines and that the controversial phrase "
let those who have to die die
" must have been said by him.
You may ask yourself, my reader friend: And Alberto didn't say anything? Yes, he said everything but he did not stand out like other times. On Tuesday he declared in an act: "
I am not going to betray Cristina, Máximo, Massa, or the people
." In reality, a normal statesman would have put the people first and then the three characters. But since ours is not a normal statesman, he is the flower of a statesman, he began by committing himself not to betray Cristina and, finally,
later we see what we do with the people
.
The "president" closed the week saying "
nobody defends the middle class more than our policies
" which is no merit because nowadays the middle class can be defended by anyone.
There are no more than 20 or 30 families.
The rest are all poor.
As the World Bank published this week, in 2020 with Alberto there were
1.7 million Argentines who left the middle class and moved to the lower class
.
If we want to see the positive side, let's say that this week the debate improved compared to the last, whose agenda was dominated by the
rebellious testicle
of Congressman Iglesias about whom everyone spoke.
We are looking forward to hearing Ricardo Forster's opinion.
Is this antipolitical?
No.
This is what it is
.
If we want something better, let's all vote and think hard when we cast the ballot.
While we debated these nonsense, in the last week 1086 Argentines died from Covid and our country was, as almost every day,
among the ten with the most deaths per million inhabitants.
Many died from the inevitable tragedy of the pandemic and others from the negligence, corruption or geopolitical nonsense of the Government.
Before this there is no auction.
