It all started when the psychologist Michal Ya'aron was invited to lecture at the workplace of my dentist (then a fourth-year student) Zeituni.
"In the fourth year of school, students are required to drill plastic teeth and inject themselves with anesthetics," says Zeituni. "These practices are also being tried on each other."
Sounds scary.
"I really did not have an easy time with it. It's seemingly not serious, just a few small drills for a blockage. But every time, when I got to try the thing itself - I felt I could not. The stress levels you put in are unreasonable in the fourth year, and I found myself "Comes to tests of practical drilling with trembling hands. I saw 'failed' and more 'failed' and realized I had to stop it. The theoretical tests are excellent, but the practical ones are difficult."
So you dropped out of school?
"No, what suddenly. I went for treatment. I do not remember who recommended the 'biofeedback' method to me."
Michal: "This is a technique where you learn to control your physiological system. It is used a lot in sports, to know how to lower your heart rate, to know how to control physical reactions. It is suitable for physical expressions of anxiety, it is a great technique."
Shelly: "Within two treatments my hands stopped shaking. But at no point was I told it was a method with a start date and expiration date. Michal explained to me that the treatment was supposed to end after the 12th session. Not fun things to hear after four years. When I graduated more I was in treatment, I was afraid that if I stopped they would shake my hands again. "
Michal: "I asked her: 'And what happens in meetings?' "She replied, 'There is silence, so I fill the room with words, because I do not like being silenced.' I told her it was psychotherapy, and that her therapist was doing her a disservice."
And then you left him?
Shelly: "Then I told him what Michal said, and he was angry, and it took some more time until I mustered up the courage."
Michal: "I told her to sue the therapist. It's not me. It must not be done. It is a crime."
But mine did not sue.
At Michal's clinic salon in the Hadar Yosef neighborhood of Tel Aviv, she tells me that all she wanted at that point was to prevent others from going to the same therapist, and in fact to prevent others from going to any treatment that did not suit them.
Her hands did not tremble when she stopped biofeedback after four years, and has since managed to treat many children as a dentist.
"But make a calculation of how much money she spent," Michal winks.
My: "No! Do not do this calculation."
"Beat beatings according to rules."
Jordan Jerby, Photo: Ami Shumen
"Inefficient Google"
I did not make an accurate calculation, but it is easy to assume that the amount invested in that therapist was enough to fund the beginning of the "somebuddy" venture that was born following my past experience and thanks to the encounter with Michal.
"It was my trigger to understand that this market lacks regulation, it is a complex world. There are all kinds of therapists, most therapists do not dare to ask and therapists do not bother to explain."
Michal and I decided to set up somebuddy - an online platform through which people can match therapists for every need and of every type and method, without being ashamed to ask questions and without fear of sorting them in advance.
Michal Ya'aron has been a sports psychologist for almost 30 years.
"The most significant component of success in sports is the psychological component. After all, it makes no sense to do achievement sports, why fight a ball with ten other people if you have balls at home? Or get to the end of the pool, touch the wall and turn around? Because it serves something in the inner world. "In our quality. Jordan Jerby and Arik Zeevi are respected people in the country because they were beaten according to rules."
She translated Michal's success in the field of psychology and the achievement messages from the field of sports into the business sector: "For years I had a large company, we worked six or seven psychologists at the same time all over the country, we conducted workshops and lectures. .
All this in parallel with the treatment of athletes?
"I'm addicted to work. A sports psychologist discovers things that look different on the outside. For example, there are people who have won medals and they are unhappy on the inside. And there are childhood gymnasts who will suffer from eating disorders and personality disorders all their lives. It's a demanding profession.
"One day I was sitting on the field accompanying a group, and someone said to me, 'Listen to what the psychologist recorded for the opposite group.' I told him, 'He's 30, he can't be a psychologist.' And he did not, that is legitimate, the group does not have to hold a psychologist. But to be precise in the settings is significant. Understand who you are facing and what the quality of care is.
"I respect the coaches and we have a lot of personal trainers on the site. But I am not a personal trainer. I earned my degree psychologically in a sweat, and it drives me crazy that people do not know the difference. "There are cases that come to me, for example, people with a child who suffers from an eating disorder or severe anxiety, I do not address."
Mine: "I was trying to understand how in 2018 people find therapists. Precisely in the most intimate field Google is ineffective, good names go by word of mouth, but why should I tell the world that I am in a marital crisis or depression or any other distress?"
There are indexes online.
"I went into indexes, but they required me to understand what I was going through. People have no idea what they are suffering from. For example, a person knows he is not sleeping at night but does not know if it is anxiety or another symptom; it is like a person coming to the doctor and not knowing if he needs root canal treatment. "
Michal: "Many times people I do not know asked me for recommendations on professionals, and I did not know who to send because in the end you have to go to someone you like, not me. In addition, there is the geographical component - I can not help parents with a child He lives in the Eilot region. "
"Beat beatings according to rules."
And Arik Zeevi, Photo: Arik Sultan
"Supply is smaller than demand"
And what about the HMOs? A HMO member who receives a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist or any other caregiver meets a sorting psychologist who knows the professionals the HMO employs. Everyone holds certificates.
Michal: "When you get to the HMO and already know you want a psychologist, you are ten steps ahead. It can take four months until you get an appointment with a psychologist through the cash register, and in the periphery it is 12-8 months. As part of the preliminary procedure we conducted before setting up the site, we talked to the funds and heard about the problems with the reform. Accessibility declined when they moved to the box office and the distress is great. After the corona all the more so, there is no chance, supply is smaller than demand. In addition, not all professionals choose to work with the funds, in the mental world the private market is very strong. "
How did you decide to set up a website?
Michal: "At first we thought it would be a social enterprise. We would create an app, release it for the public and return to our private lives. A friend of mine showed me her card on a matchmaking site and I realized it was what it takes: a professional with a card, and a patient who chooses the professional. Let's define in advance. We each put a few thousand shekels on it, and we went to meet young guys in Rishon LeZion to continue. They came with a quote of several hundred thousand shekels. At first we tried to lower it, to see what happens if you do it in Russia, what happens if you give up or cut back.
"Today we already know how to say the word start-up. And we realized that the business will not hold its own and it will not happen alone. I left my job, and containerized its sports empire and we went on an adventure. We committed suicide for it. From a small contribution to the community it becomes a life enterprise."
How is a match between patients and caregivers diagnosed?
Michal: "Drafting a questionnaire. I studied many areas that enriched psychology, and on the occasion of the project I went through all the colleagues and recruited them all. Understand what the gaps are and how to bridge them. "
What do patients want?
"A recurring fantasy is that the therapist will knock on their door and say 'I am your therapist.' Some have said they will never sit in front of a silent or nodding person again, an experience many report to a psychologist. If he is spiritual, if he is younger than me in age - there were a lot of factors. "
What is the strangest thing that patients have mentioned?
Michal: "There was one who said he would not go to a divorced caregiver."
What happens, for example, if there is a person who comes for sexual therapy, but hides another acute problem?
"People who go to therapy choose what to share and what not, but you can't scribble. If I see one I say to the patient, 'I'm sorry, but I can not continue with you.' His right not to tell, but as a therapist I will not drag him into therapy."
Shelley: "We took a reviewer who helped build an in-depth questionnaire, and it was decided to sort it out whether it was personal, couple, family, professional or business. One of the things we are debating to this day is someone who has anguish in all areas. "We need to choose where the most significant difficulty is."
But there are people for whom the employment difficulty is a factor that hinders a relationship.
"The person has to testify about himself. And if I tell him he needs in-depth care, it will not help. He has to take responsibility. Something we have been learning since the start-up is in the air is that when the person takes responsibility it looks different.Not like when the neighbor recommends a therapist. "
A ceremonial divorce of psychology
The algorithm has been running for a year.
I tried the site myself.
The questionnaire works on a computer and is also adapted for mobile phones.
I need to first mark the geographical area where I am looking for a professional.
You can also mark several places: when I tried the site, as a resident of Efrat, I marked the "Ariel and the settlements of Judea" area (which for some reason appear together, even though it is a radius of hundreds of kilometers), Gush Etzion, Jerusalem and Beit Shemesh.
I signaled that this was personal care;
I mentioned that I am over the age of 33 - the age groups that appear are from 0 - 6 and up, suitable for any developmental stage, when from 33 onwards there are no age groups - we are all in the same boat;
The algorithm is interested in whether I want a therapist who primarily listens or a therapist who primarily speaks, and whether I want a therapist who relies on science or his intuition;
When I marked 'Intuition' I got someone who handles music.
I went back and marked a therapist who relies on science, I came across a clinical social worker and another one who is on bargain prices this month!
How do you make a living from such a thing?
My: "The site has not yet returned the investment and is not close because once it succeeds we change the algorithm and expand. We have now entered organizations, need to address the sensitive part, for example, if an employee goes through a divorce then it can not be ignored. People are left with precipitation and efficiency "Going down, you get hurt as an organization. Like building a gym at work and giving food vouchers? People are starting to take care of the employees' minds as well."
Do your therapists enter organizations to treat individually?
"It's still rare, going more in the direction of lecturers, a lecture on adolescence, on time management, dealing with stress. There is a body that has approached us around a crisis that happened after an employee was caught criminally. Our caregiver accompanies them."
Where do you aspire to go?
"Our dream is to be 'get-ceremonial', 'booking' and 'okay cupid' together, a kind of arena that has it all."
