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"I went through a tough time. Now I allow myself things that are less Big" | Israel today

2021-10-14T12:46:11.803Z


The year and a half in which she did not create music ("It hurt me mentally"), the love that shattered ("I fought tooth and nail, but it was not enough"), the depression in the country ("I was broken, with all the clichés"), the love-hate relationship to Eurovision ("How much The more you can break free from that evening, the better "), and the dream of quickly becoming a mother (" I am ready for this institution ") • After the hard days of her life, Neta Barzilai returns to release new songs, judges in" The X Factor " "Drake's there too, but it's smoky. I prefer an air conditioner technician with grease in his hands."


It took less than a year for Neta Barzilai on her way to becoming an anonymous musician who performed in unknown bars, the glittering star who made Europe her own toy.

In May 2018, she made history as Israel's fourth winner of the Eurovision Song Contest, but only now, more than three years since the famous evening in Lisbon, is she free to talk about the concessions, challenges and difficulties that came in the days after Doz Foa.

"It was a very difficult and unstable period. From the outside it looked shiny, but to strengthen myself I had to be very closed, because everyone wanted a piece from me," she recalls.

"The beauty of the time I am in today is that I can do Hindus anew and be more open to people. My biggest loss was the people, and I am a person who loves people very much."

Have you also given up on close friends?

"I had a good company, Coral, and when it all started to happen and grow, the membership stopped. Before the Eurovision I had a lot of room for others, but when the Eurovision and everything that happened after that, I needed space and energy and invested in myself. I severed ties, and Coral was the biggest loss for me.

"Only recently have we been back in touch. This is a friend I hurt a lot, and I understand her. The so-called 'cost me.' The bachelorettes together. 

"Anyway, I'm starting a process where I'm getting things back that I gave up. Things I should not have given up."

• • •

I first interviewed Barzilai (28) for the "Sitting" supplement five days after winning the Eurovision Song Contest.

We were sitting in her roommate's apartment on Balfour Street in Tel Aviv, in the modest room of someone who only a few days earlier had waved the Eurovision Cup in front of 200 million spectators.

In the excited conversation, she reviewed her life, from her childhood in Hod Hasharon to the stage she conquered in Portugal even before she celebrated 25.

At the end of that interview I asked her if she was afraid of the day after, when the feelings of joy faded and her real career would begin - along with the challenges.

"I'm not afraid of falling, because it's the profession, and I know it's coming, and it's even imminent," she replied soberly.

"This is life. To this day I have dealt with everything, and I am sure that from now on there will be more difficult struggles, because I am in the spotlight."

If 2018 was Barzilai’s blast year, 2021 taught her to get back on the ground and deal: with a switch between labels that forced her to stop singing for a year and a half;

With separation from a spouse after two and a half years, including heartbreak;

And on the way also with the corona, which took her and her fellow singers off the stages.

"There came a stage where I was not well, and it was important for me to change the atmosphere," she admits.

Let's start with the romantic heartbreak.

This is Ilan Ben Or (29), a high-tech man born in the United States who immigrated to Israel and met Neta in Israel. .

"I hated the Melchett apartment with all my heart, from the day I moved in to the day I left it, at the beginning of the year. It was a very large apartment, and when Ilan returned to Los Angeles, we had a long-distance relationship. I wanted to die. I was not physically well in the empty apartment. And not good at the place I was in life. In one of the Corona closures I went to meet him in the US, after three months of not meeting, and before I went out I shared things in the apartment.

I knew I would not return. "

She packed a suitcase full of romantic and professional dreams, but unfortunately her heart returned earlier than expected - without the love left behind and without an apartment in the country to settle in.

"The original thought was to live with Ilan in Los Angeles, but then came the corona that ended it all and I got stuck in a country I had no fun in, with a man I suddenly did not connect to his life there. In our two and a half years in the country it was very fun, but suddenly he had another life in America. , And I discovered all the cultural gaps. I quickly realized I had nothing to do with him in the United States.

Your plan was to leave the country completely?

"I wanted to move in with Ilan, and of course focus on my music and career as well. Today I know that if I can continue to create and work, I would rather do it from here, from my base in Israel."

With the ex, Ilan Ben Or.

"We understood with pain that this would not happen," Photo: Nir Peking

A month in the US, with English on the streets and the other mentality, were enough for her to realize that her place was not with Uncle Sam. “It was clear to me from the first ten days that it would not work.

I really remember the moment Ilan and I realized it was not going to happen, and it was very painful.

This is a moment when we knew that love would not be enough.

I want someone who will understand me to the end when I talk about foam spray on Independence Day.

A person who perceives where I come from and what my cultural background is.

Although I am an international artist, I come from a very Israeli place.

And if you, my partner, do not understand what I am doing, that is a problem. "

Did you not already understand this in your relationship in the country?

"Yes, I understand, but I'm a fighter, and I would always rather fight a man than give him up. Ilan was like me too. We preferred to fight for our relationship with our teeth, because there were a lot of good things in him - but it really was not enough. In the end it was clear. Going to say goodbye, and the final decision was made in the US.

She returned to Israel "finished and dismantled," as she defined it.

"Broken with all the possible clichés, including moving to live with my mother in Hod Hasharon. I was with her for two months, because I had to. It happened: I thought the performances would return and I would live in love with Ilan - but the performances did not return and we both said goodbye. "

Where did you go after living with your mother?

"I could not be alone. Luckily, my cousin from Australia came to visit Israel, and we spent a month together. We lived in an Airbnb apartment near the flea market in Jaffa. After my cousin left, I continued to live in the apartment, and then the item about my separation from Ilan was published. I felt like we broke up. "Again, and everything floats back. Think about the situation: I'm alone in an Airbnb apartment, where the toilets have stopped working and I don't even have a place to pee."

tough.

Even the toilet was against you.

"Do you know what I did? I went downstairs in the building, saw an open apartment and just dared to ask the tenants to come in for a minute. They did not have a bathroom door, so they were cute and went out for me. Then I sat with them in the capital, Myself - it will be a lot of fun. "

Almost Hollywood enlightenment.

"I realized I needed to look for an apartment in Jaffa. I went through a lot of unbearable apartment moves, but I knew I would not give up until I found the best apartment I could manage my life in. Luckily, Moshik Glamine, a relative (Glamine's father and Barzilai's grandmother Brothers; a.s.), found her for me.

Today I can say that it was a very tough time, but very instructive. "

Do you and Ilan keep in touch?

"No".

Miss him?

"Yeah, but I'm very into the next thing. Oh, that's a sad interview."

• • •

 In the last year, after a period of forced silence that we will touch on later, things have returned to normal for Barzilai, at least professionally.

She was signed to a new international label related to the Disney Corporation, two of her new songs are about to be released, and the stage performances are back as well.

Only if you can talk less about you know what.

"Enough," she pulls out her long nails and responds almost instinctively when I ask to go back to talking about the Eurovision Song Contest.

You obviously have a love-hate relationship with winning.

"Yeah. In the end it's an evening in life that I do not want him to define for me everything I did after him. The more I get rid of it, the better, no matter how I ended up there."

Want to get rid of it?

"For me, I'm already free. Eurovision is a business of competition and achievement, who will win and who will give more points to whom, and I'm not such a person. I want to create and do things, with partners, because much more interesting together. Competition is not a healthy thing for me.

"Sorry for the cliché, but I like to compete only on my own. On the one hand, I'm the least accomplished girl in the world, but on the other hand I have a very large trophy cabinet. The bottom line is that's not what leads me. I do not need medals."

Winning the Eurovision Song Contest, May 2018. "In the end, it's an evening in life that I do not want to be defined by everything I did after it," Photo: AP

Apropos, in the song "Zero Effort" you wrote: "Do not push, we will save the world after the snatch, do not bring me another medal." 

"It was not a sting for Doron, but for the whole idea of ​​competitions, medals and trophies. I do not want to win titles, I want to win ears that will listen to me and sing my songs at the show. That's why in 'Zero Effort' it was important for me to put it, and not as a sting. To Doron, but as a matter of principle. "

How did Doron react when he heard that anyway?

"Easily. He understands that it's a circus, and so it was when he said 'I got into a situation' (in his famous interview with News 12 after the win; A.S.).

Everything is fine".

The first thing that comes to mind when you hear the song and the reference to the medals, is that you are less stately than before.

"My time then was a full reflection of myself in that moment. It's like I got into an evening gown and had to behave differently. Now that I don't have an evening gown to represent the country, maybe things have changed.

"I do have a very high responsibility towards everyone who looks at me, and I do not underestimate anyone, but I allow myself today things that are less big. Like 'Zero Effort,' for example, which was a collaboration with Static, Ben-El and Jordi Sheba "Out of nowhere and a stunning work. It's a song that doesn't even have a clip."

• • •

Barzilai will soon return to prime time, this time as a judge on "The X Factor" (Network 13), the big competitor of Keshet's "Next Star" - the franchise in which she first came to mind.

In the new program, she will be a partner in choosing Israel's representative for the 2022 Eurovision Song Contest.

"When I was offered to judge, I immediately said 'no' and was very reluctant," she shares.

"The reason is that there was something very family-oriented in 'Teddy Productions' and everywhere I came from. Yoav Tzafir (director of 'The Next Star', A.S. "They took the art of an annoying girl doing what she wants, and translated it into the mainstream. It required a lot of us all, and I can not forget it for them."

Suddenly you move on to competitors.

"I spoke to Nadav (Gazondheit, Barzilai's personal manager; A.S.) and we immediately called Tamira Yardeni, Teddy's boss.

I found out that her interest was my interest, and in the conversation we thought together what was good for me next.

I, for my part, looked at things cleanly and thought about what I could give to the program - and especially to the contestants. " 

And what were your considerations of saying "yes" to the network?

"I know how important the Eurovision is, and how much this competition can break down if you come to it unprepared. I thought about what I could contribute, and once I answered myself about it - it was much easier for me to decide. Everything was terribly clear.

"The Eurovision Song Contest is a crazy responsibility. It can do damage, not only to yourself, but also to Israel's image. Everything is very explosive, and there is a lot of attention on you. "The climate in Israel and in Europe. And regardless, you have to choose a strong, brave and experienced person who can be trusted, because you can definitely break there." 

judgment.

"Tough climate", Photo: Ronen Ackerman

Are you breaking down?

"I came to the Eurovision at the age of 25, after ten years on stage, and it helped me deal with the balls that land on you after the competition. Winning there is a very tough inauguration ceremony. I do not live the Eurovision today, but I do not ignore how much it changed me.

"That's why it was important for me to be a judge. Maybe noble someone, because the mistakes here are very expensive. It's an amazing experience that does magic to so many people, but it can also be bad. For me it was a lesson. I have no regrets, because regrets are not a thing "Healthy. But if you ask if I made mistakes - the answer is yes. Like what I told about close friends."

It took you two months to return a positive answer to The X Factor. 

"It took a while because I'm hesitant, and I have to know I have good partners. In my character I'm a team player, but I also needed to know I had artistic freedom, and that I could say anything I wanted. When I realized I would get it, I let them know I did. 

"I immediately texted Yoav Tzafir from Keshet: 'I feel the need to write to you, since you accompany me a long way. I owe you a lot, and everything we did together built me. I have a heavy heart, sour sorrow and especially fear of going this route online.'"

What was his reaction?

"He called and was very supportive of me, and it was a great act for him."

You said you were a "team player."

Are you like that in all areas of life?

"Yes, and it's her and a thorn in her side. Sometimes it comes at my expense, but I'm happy I was raised that way. It's related to a girl who does not want to be alone. "From him. I can work in a studio alone, but I always prefer being together." 

And being a judge of others, is that an easy thing for you?

"It's hard for me too, because I do not consider myself an authority. For me, I am a person with an opinion like everyone else, and I am no different from a taxi driver who now gives me career advice."

What will you bring from yourself to the judgment seat?

"In my values, for example, there are things I can not stand. For example, laziness. If I recognize laziness and disregard for my intelligence - I get hurt. It's like getting a bad dish in a restaurant. For me, if you're already doing something, work hard at it. This profession "In music, you never give up, and if you think you'll use the same trick that worked 15 years ago, I'm not sure it's right." 

In the X Factor judging panel.

"I do not consider myself an authority, for me I am no different from a taxi driver who gives me career advice", Photo: PR

• • •

For the past year and a half we have not heard any new songs by Barzilai, and that was not by chance.

The temporary silence was responsible for her decision to leave her previous label, BMG, and move to the S curve label, which merged with Disney earlier this year.

This transition prevented her from publishing new songs - and she says it affected her mentally.

"I felt like they took my air, and it was shocking," she recalls.

"I fought that the second we got to Disney, first thing would finally come out a new song. And you see, we recorded it and filmed it before we even knew the transition would be officially done. I just had to do it for myself, for the soul."

In the new song, "CEO", Barzilai meets the threshold of the grandiose and invested productions to which she has accustomed her audience. It was attended by 40 dancers, 20 extras and three specially built sets.

"I worked on this song with Boaz Vanderbit, a Dutch producer who came to Israel and was Diplo's right-hand man in Major Laser. He is a musician who did all the songs that speak most to me. Boaz wrote to me in the middle of the first closure he wanted to work with me, That he turned on Beat and I sang - we had a crazy connection. "

Where does the CEO come from?

"Because I'm a perfectionist, I thought about what might lead to the song Power. Suddenly we started talking about the CEO, who connects with the fact that I'm actually the CEO of my private company, into which the production money goes and from which I take out salaries for those who work for me.

It also symbolizes my return to life and the power within me after the difficult period.

A time when the whole country was closed, the previous label prevented me from putting out songs, and everyone had a thousand opinions about what I should do.

In this situation I had to remind myself that everything would be fine.

I summoned power back. "

And did you succeed in this summons?

"Yes, slowly."

The feeling is that you are returning to your natural place, the one you were in before "The Next Star" and the Eurovision Song Contest.

"I really come back to myself, I become a complex character who has both. I am very dual: I like to hold a passon - but I also really want other things to be seen of me. I combine the worlds, and it is important to me that people see."

Is this process also related to the fact that you are seen dancing professionally in the clip for the first time?

"I knew I wanted to dance to this song, but I was very afraid it would not turn out well, because I do not know choreography. If you ask me where is the right foot and where is the left foot, I will not know to answer. I have an inner groove wow, but I have no sense of direction and orientation in space That's why I do not drive a car, I drop every second glass of water, and I have problems with attention and concentration.

"Although I'm not having a hard time with my body, but I needed someone to sit on my head, and I knew that Eden Chaplain, the choreographer, would do it with me. "And you realize that they are flying with me. I was very excited that they got involved immediately, and that they were very much in my favor."

• • •

Since it became famous, Barzilai has waved quite a few social flags.

The most prominent of these, perhaps, touched on the charged subject of full women and body image.

The highlight was recorded in March 2019 when she appeared on the runway at the swimwear show of Neta Alchemister and Noa Benny, a move that provoked a lot of noise and welcome discussions.

The Photoshop protest, which has received a resurgence in recent weeks, has not gone unnoticed either.

"For me, it's important to condemn the retouching phenomenon and hiding the truth. I think those who appear in retouching stories are victims themselves. I recently thought of a schoolgirl who uploads a picture of herself after retouching, and the boys come to her later and tell her 'you retouched your bags under your eyes.' It's a scene that's stressing me out.

"Awareness of this issue is important, but when you post posts that expose the retouching, as you yourself have been doing lately, make the humiliation legitimate - and that's something that's hard for me. I really think we're all as beautiful as we are, and should not be offended. 

"I also ask: why do you never put the big fashion companies on Photoshop that they do? A company needs to be set up to put money on a campaign without Photoshop. Only when you get to the root of the problem, you solve it.

"The same goes for women's sizes. I knocked on the doors of some companies to bring large sizes. I told them brass, and they did not bring. I am now collaborating with Reebok, and this is the first time such a large company has both XXXXL and stock in stock. "Once a leading company makes the move and puts in the money, it starts. I hope my full members will buy the collection, because it's historic."

Do you do Photoshop yourself?

"Not at the level of slimming the body and lowering the perimeters. If such a thing is done - it is without my knowledge. Symmetry and aesthetics are important to me, and if there is not good enough lighting under the eyes - I bleach. Photoshop for me is in the 'Laker' section of the production."

Speaking of which, what did you think of the great change that singer Adele went through?

"If it's good for her and fun for her, then stunning. Each one is allowed to decide on her own body, and that's really subjective. We should not interfere with that."

Adele.

"May decide on her body", Photo: GettyImages

• • •

After the pain of parting from the ex subsides, Barzilai's 2021 version feels open, at last, to a new love.

"In the months since then I have been in a period of great unrest because I want to break free from the separation and I really enjoy meeting new people," she explains.

"Before that I didn't go out with others and I didn't open myself up, and I think it's time for that."

So what, you opened a profile on dating sites?

"I do not have Tinder, but I have 'Raya' (RAYA), a dating app for celebs only that needs to be accepted, and a background check is done on you before you are approved. It is horrible, because there seems to be no Israeli there except me and Moshik Glamine ...".

What horrors did you see there?

"זה בינלאומי, ויש באפליקציה שחקני כדורסל, אמנים ואנשי עסקים. עד עכשיו ראיתי שם את דיפלו ואת דרייק. מבחינתי זה מעפן, כי אני מעדיפה טכנאי מזגנים. אני רוצה גבר עם גריז על הידיים".

לא חששת להיחשף כך חופשי, באפליקציה?

"אני אמנם עם השם והתמונה האמיתיים, אבל אני לא יכולה להיות כנה לגמרי באפליקציה, כי כולם מדברים ומעבירים אחר כך צילומי מסך. אני לא יכולה להיחשף עד הסוף, כי זה יכול לעבור לאלף ואחד אנשים אחרים. זה דבר שאני מביאה בחשבון, ואני משתדלת להיזהר". 

כעיקרון, קשה לך לסמוך על אנשים?

"מובן שהרבה יותר קשה לי בהשוואה לעבר, ובגלל זה אני גם לא נותנת מעצמי בקלות. זה מאתגר, אבל בסופו של דבר זה ישתלם למי שיצליח לעבור את כל המשוכות שאני שמה. מי שיעבור את כל הדרקונים - יגיע אל הנסיכה".

ואיך עוברים את המשוכות שלך?

"תכלס, שולחים לי הודעה באינסטגרם", היא צוחקת. 

גברים מתחילים איתך?

"רק גברים עם הביצים הכי גדולות בעולם ייגשו אלי. אני מכירה דרך חברים משותפים והעבודה".

איפה את עושה דייטים?

"יש הרבה ספסלים על הים ביפו, ושם אני עושה". 

היה לך קשר רציני מאז אילן?

"לא, אבל אני חושבת שאני כבר בשלה. אלייג'ה, המנקה שלי, אמר שבאוגוסט הבא אני אתחתן, ואני מאמינה באלייג'ה".

מפנטזת על שמלה לבנה בקרוב?

"לא מפנטזת, כמו שבא לי להיות מאוהבת. בא לי פרטנר. אני הכי שותפית ומונוגמית. בא לי מישהו לעוף איתו, ובא לי לבנות אימפריה". 

"אני הכי שותפית ומונוגמית. בא לי מישהו לעוף איתו, לבנות אימפריה". ברזילי, צילום: ערן לוי

על ילדים את חושבת?

"כן. ב'אקס פקטור' היתה זמרת שסיפרה על הבחירה שהיא עשתה לא ללדת ילדים, וכשהאודישן שלה הסתיים זזתי הצידה ולא יכולתי להפסיק לבכות. אני לא רוצה להגיע למצב שאני מוותרת על הזכות להיות אמא. זה תפס אותי ממש חזק, וחשבתי על זה המון. אני מאמינה שאהיה אמא מדהימה, אבל לפני כן, ממש כרגע, בא לי להתאהב. אני בשלה להתמסדות הזאת.

"במשך הרבה שנים חשבתי שאני לא יכולה לחיות בזוגיות. חשבתי שכבר לא אחווה את הדבר הזה בחיים. השלמתי עם העובדה שאהיה מרוכזת בקריירה, אבל אז אילן הגיע ולימד אותי שאני יכולה להיות בת זוג מטורפת ומדהימה. זה היה בשבילי שוֹק. עד אז חשבתי שאני כל כך מורכבת, ושאני לא יכולה בשניים.

"ואז החלטתי לשנות את הגישה והתחלתי לחשוב בכיוון החיובי. אני לא מתכוונת לוותר על זוגיות ואהבה, כי אני רוצה להיות אמא".

את יודעת, בימינו לא חייבים זוגיות כדי להיות אמא.

"True, but I already told you: I'm a team player. I do not like alone. Nothing I do alone."

erans@israelhayom.co.il

Source: israelhayom

All news articles on 2021-10-14

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