That Saturday night I was on my way home from my yeshiva in the captivity of Hebron.
On the bus we heard that Rabin had been shot and at home I heard Eitan Haber announce that the prime minister had passed away.
I deeply regretted and was saddened by the murder of this dear man, with whom I did not agree on a lot of things and thought he was seriously wrong when it came to the Oslo Accords.
But the very next day, when I arrived at the IDF in my unit in the research division, where I was the only religious, I discovered that I was guilty of murder, that because of Rabin he was murdered and that my dome was the source of all evil in the world.
Since almost every year there were those who bothered to remind me that I was the killer, never bothered to find out what I thought and simply cataloged me because I was a man of the Greater Land of Israel and because I was religious.
I will not forget this man who passed by us in Tel Aviv, while we were protesting against some agreement, he opened his luxury car and screamed at us that we were cocky.
An older, rich, successful man, bothered to throw harsh words at us just because we did not think like him.
And this was not the only time.
Always in anticipation of every day of remembrance for the murder of this dear man, bother to remind me that I do not belong to this holy day.
Reminded me that I, because of who I am, was actually the killer.
Because I think the Oslo Accords are a disaster, then I am a spiritual descendant of Yigal Amir, as Foreign Minister Yair Lapid said tonight.
But I am not a spiritual descendant of Yigal Amir, I despised this man then and I am disgusted with him today.
In his act, he murdered Israeli society and wounded it in ways that are difficult to describe.
The fact that I want unity among the people of Israel, the fact that I see my brothers on the Zionist and non-Zionist left, does not stop me from thinking that they are wrong.
That the Israeli left worships a golden calf of peace that will not exist and that will destroy us.
My immense love for dear colleagues, for relatives, just for your people Israel, does not prevent me from thinking that the desire to establish a state here of all its citizens is an apostasy in the very essence of our nation.
That here, on this land promised to our fathers Abraham Isaac and Jacob, we do not conquer.
We will never be colonialists here and we will always be here at home.
But as part of the grief over a horrific act, they tried and tried to shut me up.
Trying to keep me from saying that in front of you peace is bad, that the king is naked.
I will never stop saying my opinion and at the same time I will never stop loving the different and disagreeing with me.
Yes, Foreign Minister Yair Lapid, no, I am a descendant of the division of Yagel Amir, no, I am the one who divides the people, the one who really is this descendant is you, in your lack of listening, in closing your mouths.
You, the Foreign Minister, are an arrogant, non-listening person, completely convinced in his way without examining her, you are the true descendant of that hatred, not me.
