I Did Not Expect: What I Learned From The Responses To The Harassment Column | Israel today

Lifestyle of sexual harassment.

It took me 20 years to admit that this was my reality and that of many others, until I published the column “Me too” last week, marking four years since the MeToo protest, which gave me back.

It was a crazy relief and a move I would not have allowed myself to make if my father had been alive.

Too sensitive, too unfortunate.

We'll get to Mom's response later.

I really did not expect the profile of the respondents that came as a result of my exposure.

I was particularly amazed that the first to respond were none other than some of those responsible for speaking out.

Last Friday, even before the clock showed 6:30 a.m., I was privileged to receive three messages from men who had bothered me in the past.

Each of them wrote me the same word: "Sorry."

I replied: "Forgive."

Yes, I did it wholeheartedly.

why?

Well, there are those who believe that aggressive campaigns deter and raise awareness of the issue, but do not always bring offenders to take stock.

What particularly caught my eye in the messages I received was the immediate apology, after the column put a mirror in front of the harassers.

It's time to tell that these are former colleagues, which shows the hypocrisy in us, in the media - that judges others, but usually keeps the dirty laundry inside.

Why have I been silent to them all these years?

Because at the age of 20 and a bit, when an editor gets you to work with apprehension ("You're beautiful, I'll have problems here"), you well understand that you will find yourself out there if you flood the stories.

We are happy that today, an editor who says such a thing is the one who will find himself out.

The second wave of reactions came from women, not just my age. I was especially moved by older women, who shared personal and detailed emails about harassment they never revealed. The older of them, 94 (!), Called to tell how she identified with the trial about the constant need to keep boundaries to try to neutralize men who invade private space, and how she too tried in her youth to ugly herself, as a defender. Today she is greatly relieved that her daughters and granddaughters have the opportunity to complain. Others recounted how in their time, they used to accuse the woman of being the "whore" she seduced, and the whole incident happened at all through her own fault.

One woman and my best friend in the world, from whom I also inherited my DNA regarding harassment, drew my attention to the fact that already in the 1960s the late Naomi Shemer wrote "Waltz for Plant Protection" - and not many know that it is actually a song about sexual harassment in the army .

The song, performed by the Nahal band, came out in 1967 - days of great victories, when the IDF was a revered army, and no man or woman dared to speak against it or its commanders, some of whom reached out and harassed.

The sentence that seals the song sheds light on an unbearable lifestyle that many women have gone through, and others will sadly continue to go through, until the phenomenon is destroyed: / Then there was a different situation. " 

danieller@israelhayom.co.il