"Tell me, the kids, you troll." When the children are naughty, many parents will get angry and can't help scolding them, but the seemingly ordinary words may suddenly become deeply hurt when they are heard in the children's ears. Words.
In fact, this is a form of verbal abuse, and severely it will affect the development of mental health.
An illustrator who had divorced his parents in childhood, coupled with poor academic performance and verbal abuse by his relatives, made him lose his sense of security. He lived in fear all day long. When he grows up, he is even more afraid of taking airplanes and even taking elevators. He hopes By sharing their own stories, arouse the public's attention to verbal abuse.
Illustrator Mickco suffered from verbal abuse in his childhood, which affected his growth. He hopes to arouse everyone's attention to verbal abuse by sharing his story.
(Photo provided by Save the Children of Hong Kong)
Mickco is a well-known fashion illustrator in the city and a contemporary artist. He has collaborated with many famous brands to create unique illustrations. His works are all over Louis Vuitton, Tiffany & Co, Valmont, Lancôme, diptyque, etc.
He seems to be going smoothly in the workplace, but there are hidden sad memories behind him.
When Mickco was 3 years old, his parents divorced. Before the age of 6, he followed his mother to live in Macau. His mother was too busy with work and could not take care of him. Later, he had to hand him over to Mickco's father.
He sometimes gets along with his grandmother who is in poor health, and sometimes he is taken care of by other relatives. Until the age of 12, he follows his father to live out of town.
In his childhood, the brushes and drawing papers that accompanied Mickco the most, so he fell in love with painting and art, but his dream was not supported by his family.
(Photo provided by Save the Children of Hong Kong)
Poor grades as a child accused of useless dreams of not getting support from family members
In his childhood, he was accompanied by paintbrushes and drawing paper the most, so he fell in love with painting and art. "Now I remember that I come from a broken family and I like to project my own things into the paintings, so that everything becomes perfect." It is a pity. The previous generation thought that painting was not promising, and his relatives did not approve of him becoming an illustrator, and they would say a lot of embarrassing words to stimulate him.
He still remembered that when he was a child, he did not get good grades in his studies. He often heard something that made him feel uncomfortable. "They think that I do not study well and are useless. They make me doubt myself when I grow up, and they will put me and Compared with relatives’ children, because they do well in school, I wonder why I’m so stupid.”
He has grown up now, but the words he heard that day are still vivid.
What Mickco is most afraid of hearing is "trapped you into a dark room", "I am really afraid of being trapped in a secret room because I have a phobia of secret rooms."
Because his father was often absent and his grandmother had a stroke and was in poor health, Mickco felt insecure in his childhood and lived in fear all day long. When he grows up, he is even more afraid of flying, even in elevators.
Mickco said that what the adults said to him back then had a great impact on his future growth.
(Photo provided by Save the Children of Hong Kong)
The speaker is unintentional and the listener intends
What the adults said to him back then has a great influence on his future growth. "When he grows up, he chats with his relatives and talks about things back then. They all forget what they said. In fact, the speaker has no intention of speaking."
"Many people do not know how to be parents at birth. They all need to learn slowly, but this is not an excuse to hurt children. Adults will unconsciously put their emotions on children, but they are unintentional and will Work tempers or emotions are placed on me. In fact, they love me very much, but don’t think it’s okay after saying these things, because it has a great impact on the children.”
"They think that with intimidating words, children will become obedient, but in fact they are not. If you don’t use intimidation and use rewards instead, you might make the children happier, just like going to work, and you won’t want the boss to scold them every day. You, compare your heart to yourself, and the boss will give you bonus, you will be happier."
Looking back on his childhood, Mickco said with emotion, “If someone told me that they would be around to support me, maybe my childhood would be very different. Even if you can’t be with a child, but let him know if something happens, you will support him. Verbal comfort is actually enough."
He also reminded parents that not every child can be strong enough to face these words, "I was very strong back then and knew how to ask for help, but not everyone understands that some children may have serious emotional problems as a result."
It is recommended that adults say more compliments
Mickco was punished by his teacher when he was a child. What he heard during the process caused him to question himself as he was growing up, which left a shadow on him.
"In addition to verbal abuse from parents, teachers also have the opportunity to harm children's mind and body. Pay attention to the tone and criticism of children, and don't speak too much. For example, saying to children: You are stupid, useless, and poor in reading, which will leave you behind. Shadows and loss of self-confidence", he suggested that adults should say more compliments to improve their physical and mental development.
Stuart Stuart, director general of Save the Children of Hong Kong, said that many people ignore the trauma caused by verbal abuse to children. I hope that Mickco's story can arouse parents and caregivers' attention to children's speech and encourage everyone to communicate with children in positive words.
Save the Children of Hong Kong will hold "World Children's Day: Saying "Activities" in Yuanfang on the 20th next month to promote the cessation of verbal abuse, the protection of children with love, and the healthy and happy growth of children.
World Children’s Day: Talking about "True" Event
Date: November
20-28
Venue: MTR Kowloon Station, Elements Shopping Mall (Elements) Water Zone ZARA Opposite,
Painting My Heart "Sunny" Works Exhibition: 11 am to
Talking about "True"
at 8pm.
Guest sharing: November 20th from 2pm to 3pm
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