"Fitness is closely related to nutrition, mental health, emotional status, and sexual health. You can't just pay attention to one part when dealing with your own problems."
The tiny Emily in front of her, behind her bright smile, had experienced a great change in her life.
She used to have a colorful life and has many jobs every day. She was diagnosed with blood cancer in 2018. The sudden illness made her rethink her life. "We often think that we have a lot of time to satisfy others. Try to imagine that you are currently on a sickbed. , You will definitely not regret not having more work, you will only regret not having pleased yourself, isn’t it ridiculous?”
After being sick, she learned to live in the present and care more about her feelings.
By chance, Emily met a sex coach and became a friend. She sent her the first sex toy. By taking care of her physical and mental needs, Emily learned about sexual health and self-love ( The topic of self-love is very relevant. "The journey of finding ourselves is very important. When we understand ourselves better, we can prioritize various people and things in life. In terms of work, colleagues, friends, and partners, In fact, none of us have the space to waste time."
"
Just
say what you have, Same things in the sexual content."
Photography: Zheng Zifeng
Behind Emily's brilliant smile, it turned out that life had changed dramatically.
(Photo by Zheng Zifeng)
Emily Lola Tan is full of energy when she speaks, dancing freely on the poles.
She is engaged in business development and is also a pole dance instructor. She is also an anchor for sharing mental health and sexual health issues on the Podcast. "I have my own pole dancing school in Malaysia, where I teach aerial dancing and I can also perform. A fitness trainer, everyday a lot".
After many years of holding multiple jobs, her life has always been very fulfilling.
Emily, who has a wheat complexion, dances freely on the pole, showing vitality and healthy body.
(Photo by Zheng Zifeng)
I have been a workaholic since I was a child, "work hard to survive"
Emily has been a "workaholic" since she was 15 years old, and her daily schedule is densely compiled. "It's the same way when I was young in the United States. There is a hustle mindset (struggle mentality). Close to the hardworking thinking of the previous generation."
After growing up, she worked in Singapore, India, Dubai, Spain, and Hong Kong. She described that no one advocated mental health at that time. She only came into contact with this concept in the past five years. People in their early tenths pay more attention to this aspect. They are very important to have me-time (private time)."
"When I was young, I had a hustle mindset (struggle mentality). I felt that I had to work hard in order to survive. It was closer to the hardworking mindset of the previous generation."
Emily is a small man who has been a "workaholic" since the age of 15.
(Photo by Zheng Zifeng)
There are many types of health points, and there are connections between each. Fitness is closely related to nutrition, mental health, emotional status, and sexual health. You should not just pay attention to one part when dealing with your own problems.
Pole Dance Instructor Emily Lola Tan
Suddenly diagnosed with blood cancer two and a half years ago, thinking about life on the couch
Emily, who has a toned body shape, said that health is not just about fitness and a balanced diet. "There are many types of health, and there are connections between each. Fitness is closely related to nutrition, mental health, emotional status, and sexual health, so we can deal with our own problems. You can’t just pay attention to one part at a time.”
Learning to pay attention to physical and mental health stems from a bad illness in 2018.
Emily, who was in Spain at the time, was diagnosed with Acute myeloid leukemia (acute myeloid leukemia). Since the most serious leukemia can be fatal within a few weeks, she urgently needs to find a suitable donor and undergo a bone marrow transplant after returning to Hong Kong.
A sudden illness in 2018 caused Emily to rethink about life and what is most important to her.
(Photo by Zheng Zifeng)
At the end of the same year, Emily successfully completed the bone marrow transplantation. It ushered in side effects all over the body, including excessive liver enzymes, kidney function problems, skin deterioration, massive hair loss, oral ulcers and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, in order to reduce infections Risks. Emily needs to stay away from the crowd as much as possible. She has been resting at home for a long time after the operation. Now she still has to go to the hospital for follow-up and blood draw every month. She needs to be admitted to the hospital for detailed examinations every three to six months, and a long road to recovery. She rethinks life.
"When I was resting, I thought about a lot of things. First, I found the best treatment method, and then I focused on rebuilding my physical and mental health." She described herself as a fitness trainer, but when she was seriously ill, she could not heal herself, so she must ask a professional. People asked for help, "I found an Exercise Physiologist to design and supervise the exercise plan based on the health of my various systems; I also came to the Functional Health Coach to help me find the root cause of the illness and Remove psychological barriers.”
You think you are strong enough to face these traumas, but you can't, but your body will feel the shock and leave a memory.
Pole Dance Instructor Emily Lola Tan
The therapist revealed that he had been sexually assaulted and required an abortion: I never dealt with the pain properly
"Many people in Hong Kong think that when you go to see a therapist, you must be mentally ill. In fact, it is not necessarily. Sometimes you just need someone to remove some psychological barriers for you."
Emily described that there were problems getting along with her boyfriend during the recovery period, "because I had to focus on my body and mind, instead of putting him first, I felt a strong sense of powerlessness at that time."
Later, her emotions evolved into anger, "I don’t know where that anger comes from. Some people will say if you are angry because you have cancer and you are not angry at being selected, but in fact it is not. I never thought about it. Why me this question".
After talking with a psychotherapist, she found out that the anger came from her past traumatic experience. "When I was 15 years old, I was sexually assaulted and became pregnant. I needed an abortion, as well as the various pressures I received as an immigrant, and came from my family. Some of the traumas... These injuries all happened when I was young, and I never dealt with them properly."
Emily's mood deteriorated during the anti-cancer period. She was confused by the anger from unknown sources. Later, after talking with the therapist, she found that the anger came from the trauma of her youth. She experienced sexual assault and became pregnant when she was 15 years old. The abortion operation left an indelible pain, but she never handled it properly.
(Photo by Zheng Zifeng)
She also read a lot of articles during the break, and one of them mentioned that if you don’t deal with the mental pain properly, it will be reflected in the body after a long time, "You think you are strong enough to face these traumas. , Actually can’t, but your body will feel the shock and leave a memory.”
We often think that we have a lot of time to satisfy others. Try to imagine that you are on a sickbed. You will definitely not regret not having more work, but will only regret that you have not pleased yourself. Isn't it ridiculous?
Pole Dance Instructor Emily Lola Tan
Sex is part of health
Emily described the experience of the illness as a blessing in disguise. Although she had begun to slow down in her life before she fell ill, the cancer demon still struck. : "Sorry, I am already standing in front of you"".
Before suffering from cancer, Emily believed that sex was only for satisfying each other, and was never regarded as a pleasant thing. "When I talked about this topic on the Podcast, I found that many people have similar ideas. In fact, sex is also a part of health. We only have sex therapists who treat sexual disorders. Why are there no mentors who discuss sex and health?" Cancer made her know how to care more about her own feelings. "We often think that we have a lot of time to satisfy others. Come on, you will definitely not regret not having more work, you will only regret not having pleased yourself. Isn’t it ridiculous?”
The journey of finding ourselves is very important. When we know ourselves better, we can prioritize all kinds of people and things in life. In fact, we have no space to waste time in work, colleagues, friends and partners.
Pole Dance Instructor Emily Lola Tan
At the meeting of fate, Emily met her sex mentor Sara and became a friend. She sent her the first sex toy, Starlet, to her. She began to discover that sexual health had a lot to do with the issue of self-love.
(Photo by Zheng Zifeng)
Sexual health is closely related to self-love: just say what you have
At the meeting of fate, she met her sex mentor Sara and became friends. She sent her the first sex toy, Womanizer Starlet, to enjoy the joy of stimulating the clitoris. "Starlet has only two buttons, which is a good thing for novices." A product that is easy to master", Emily said with a smile, Asian women may be more nervous when using sex toys. "Their male partner may say, you don’t need these, you already have me, It’s not the same thing (both are Different)".
Emily began to understand that sexual health was originally related to self-love issues, and now she is more courageous to express her needs. "The journey of finding ourselves is very important. When we understand ourselves better, we can prioritize all kinds of people and things in life. In terms of work, colleagues, friends, and partner relationships, we actually don’t have the space to waste time.” “Just say what you have, Same things in the sexual content”.
The sex toy brand Womanizer has cooperated with adult product store Sally Coco to set the 25th to 31st of this month as Sexual Health Week, and the branch in Central will launch new versions of sex products.
Emily was invited to share her story with the guests at the Sally Coco Central Store. He will also host a sensory exercise workshop today (28th), integrating floor movement and dance concepts, encouraging participants to have a self-talk with their original senses by touching their bodies , Learn to break the pressure from society, "In this workshop, I will share some basic knowledge of self-intimacy. Before establishing contact with others, I will start with my own feelings."
Venue provided: Aerial Arts Academy, Sally Coco Intimate Lifestyle Store
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