"This is a real life-saver, and these messages are very important and significant": The
Prime Minister's wife, Gilat Bennett, spoke rarely today (Tuesday), when she participated in an event marking the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, at the Knesset
"My name is Gilat Bennett, and I'm here because I'm the prime minister's wife. That's why I got the honor of speaking here, and that fact makes me a little shaken, and very excited, because in my perception nothing is taken for granted, and nothing just happens," Bennett said. .
"So if I came at this time, to speak here at this important event, in the Knesset of Israel, then I probably have a role to say something significant. For those who do not know, I am a professional parent counselor, and what I do every day, when I am not home with my four children, is to meet parents With your permission, I want to speak here not as a prime minister's wife but as a mother of four and as a professional woman who has been meeting parents daily for over a decade.
"This event is part of a day designed to commemorate the fight against violence against women. There are wonderful organizations and people in our country who are engaged in this craft, who dedicate their lives to it and do amazing work. In an abusive relationship. There are also organizations that offer assistance and treatment, allowing women to seek help safely. This is a real life saver, and these messages are very important and meaningful.
"But all these messages refer to a situation where there is almost tragedy, when the problem is already here.
And what I want to talk about in the next few minutes, is about prevention, which in my opinion, is a voice that is not heard enough. I'm sorry to say, but the violent partner of another 15 years , Is today a child, who grew up in some house. The spouse who will be in an abusive relationship in 10 or 20 years, grew up in some house today.
"The family is the place where a child learns everything about himself. Mostly, what is he worth. Am I worthy or unworthy? What attitude do I deserve to receive? Am I worthy to receive love? What are the ways in which love is shown? And with these beliefs they go out into the social field Looking for a relationship.Our relationship, our parents, to what we sow for years, even when they are young children, has a dramatic effect on the beliefs our boy or girl will form about the treatment they deserve and the treatment they will give.All these things do not happen suddenly when they are 24 and already "Spouses of someone or someone. We will learn all this from them during all their years with us."
Gilat Bennett, Lehi Lapid and Knesset Speaker Miki Levy,
Bennett added: "The children watch us, the parents - in the relationship between us, in how we talk to each other, in how we talk to the neighbor, to their teacher, to the cashier at the supermarket, how we talk to them. There they learn how people are supposed to treat each other. Be in a relationship, they applied exactly what they saw.From my experience as a counselor who meets parents daily, and as a mom who experiences reality up close, I see a lot of difficulty in parenting.We all want to be good parents, but many of us often feel helpless and confused, Simply because the methods of education that were once customary and adapted to other years, are no longer appropriate for today. Everything has changed. The methods and worldviews of education that were once correct are no longer valid.
"Take punishments for example. If once when we were kids we would do something wrong, Dad would look at us with such a look, and immediately we would understand and straighten out. The reason is that many of us were afraid of our parents and afraid of the punishment to come. But if we think about it for a moment, , Is the message that in a close and family relationship, I'm allowed to hurt you in order to teach you something. I'll hurt you. And even if there is no physical pain, there is often humiliation.
"We, as parents, need tools to learn how to bring about respectful cooperation, without threats and punishments. How to help our child deal with anger and frustration and grow resilience so that even if he is frustrated with his teacher or partner - he will know how to cope With the frustration within it optimally.Yes, we have a lot of responsibilities as parents.Believe me that I as a mother I feel it every day, but it is only because we have a role, to prepare our children, in a way that they will be ready for life in the community and able to fulfill their life mission as a son Or a spouse.But it's also a very optimistic idea, because if we have so much influence, and we have so much influence, it only says how much we can influence for good.
"And sow good seeds in our children's relationships: really listen to them, and teach them that they deserve to be listened to. Set boundaries in love, with respectful attitude toward them. Allow them to deal with frustration, and encourage them to stand up. Create a dialogue with them on issues. Important so that they know we can come and ask.If we just acquire the right knowledge, and tools, that will give us confidence in how to raise our children to be responsible and contributing adults - we can impact society, and the lives of all of us.
"So for anyone who is having difficulty in the relationship with the children or in the relationship I would like to address you from here with two messages: The first, is that you are really not the only ones. You are part of dilemmas, questions and issues that concern many parents today. "The second, after the awareness of the problem, is the treatment of it. Do not freeze on the yeast, do not let it work on its own. Talk, check, consult, with those close to you and if necessary also with professionals. It is in the hands of each and every one of us, right now."
The event, which was initiated by MKs Idit Silman, Meirav Ben-Ari and the Barak Foundation, was also attended by the wife of Foreign Minister Lehi Lapid and the Speaker of the Knesset, MK Miki Levy.
"Talk to your boys"
Leah Lapid said: "We are here today to shout your muted cry. To tell you that you are not guilty and you have nothing to be ashamed of. 'It is not you - it is him.' And we are here today to tell you that we want to help. We are your neighbor. Your girlfriend "We are the ones who work with you. We are your sister. We are your mother or your daughter. And we just want to help you."
"And I have another little request today, from the men. Talk to your sons. Talk to your friends. With your brother. Tell them that no woman is property and no woman is always and your worlds."