At the age of 16 Reinhard Bieniek met his wife Silvia.
In retirement, they wanted to travel a lot on the spur of the moment.
Since multiple sclerosis has confined Silvia to a wheelchair, Bieniek has been happy to have an evening off.
Miesbach - In a row house in Miesbach is a 69-year-old man who in retirement would have preferred to go hiking on La Palma, and puts a water bottle on the wheelchair of the woman, whom he would have liked to have by his side because of her cheerful nature . He puts the straw on her lips and goes through the daily plan that he has been working on for years and will probably work on for years to come. “You give up a large part of your life,” says Reinhard Bieniek. He used to be a system administrator at Siemens. He has been looking after his wife Silvia (70) full-time for ten years.
Silvia has multiple sclerosis (MS).
Your damaged nerve cells pass on information little or no information at all.
Some people, despite having MS, lead relatively normal lives for decades.
Others end up immobilized in a wheelchair within a few years.
Silvia belongs to the second group.
Put his wife in a nursing home?
Unthinkable for Bieniek
It's just before ten o'clock. Like every day, Bieniek got up at 6 o'clock; at 7 o'clock the nursing staff rang the bell, got Silvia out of bed, washed and dressed. At 7.30 a.m., Bieniek took his wife down to the ground floor with the stairlift. Breakfast, housework. He's about to go shopping and cook lunch. In between he keeps giving Silvia pills; make sure she drinks enough. Bringing Silvia to the nursing home is out of the question for Bieniek. She took care of him for 25 years. Cooking, household, finance. "Now I can give her something back."
Bieniek met Silvia at the age of 16 at the Miesbach secondary school. He has traveled the world with her, attended many concerts and went on countless hikes. Both had imagined their retirement to be just as active. "If the weather is nice, on the next plane and away," says Bieniek with a smile. "If you want to make the Lord God laugh, tell him your dreams."
The first signs that these dreams might be in jeopardy were noticed by the Bienieks three decades ago.
Around Silvia's 40th birthday, her arms became numb more and more often, and her gait became more and more unsteady.
For a long time, doctors spoke in clauses of chronic nerve inflammation.
That was the way it was back then, says Bieniek.
After two years and an in-patient examination in a neurological clinic, Bieniek accidentally came across a doctor's letter from Munich.
"Suspected MS" was written there.
Now he knew what to expect.
Anyone who struggles will at some point hang on the tree, says Bieniek
Silvia struck the diagnosis against the head, he recalls. Him aswell. “You have to see that you can get out of there. You can't change anything big. ”The two try to use the remaining time, hike and travel as long as possible. Mostly they fly to La Palma, for the last time in 1993. After that, Silvia no longer makes it.
Bieniek is slowly growing into his role as a carer. At 59, he took early retirement to look after his wife full-time. Due to a flare-up of illness around the turn of the millennium, Silvia developed dementia, which robbed her of part of her mental abilities. But she keeps her lust for life. Since the doctors resuscitated her after a double pulmonary embolism in 2018, she can no longer stand and has to be fed. If Bieniek now wants to go away for a long weekend, he looks for a care place for Silvia almost a year in advance. “On the next plane and away” is unthinkable. Bieniek: "We learned the disease from scratch."
Bieniek takes on his role.
That Silvia's illness can only get worse, that he works himself off to watch a loved one slowly dissolve - he has learned to come to terms with it.
"When you start quarreling, at some point you hang on the tree."
Many reliefs break away due to Corona
Despite all the challenges, Bieniek is doing comparatively well. For the domestic help of the BRK he pays around 300 euros per month, the Café Mitanand of the BRK, where Silvia likes to spend afternoons, around 100 euros per appointment, the stairlift cost thousands. Reliefs that he can afford because he has earned well and because according to the old pension law, Silvia receives full pay, as if she had worked until retirement. Those who suffer from MS today or who have earned poorer income have to forego help. As chairman of the MS regulars' table, Bieniek knows some who feel like this: "There are certainly many well-groomed people in the district who have not left the house for years because the opportunities are lacking."
Because of the corona pandemic, Bieniek is currently hardly leaving the house.
Café Mitanand remains closed, the MS group no longer meets, concerts are canceled.
No changes, no free evenings.
Bieniek gets up, cares and goes to bed.
“From 7 p.m. I sit in front of the telly until I get tired.” Relaxing for a weekend, “that would be a dream”.
Bieniek is about to go shopping.
As he does every day, he hopes to meet someone he knows to chat.
How does one who wanted to travel a lot feel when such meetings are high points?
Bieniek: “Satisfied is the wrong word.
But it could be worse. "
The most important information about the fundraising campaign "Readers help readers" at a glance
Beneficiaries
This time, many individual people instead of a few large organizations benefit from the local newspaper's “Readers Help Readers” campaign.
In cooperation with the District Office, the local newspaper enables caregivers and their cared for a vacation from and with care in the district - with accommodation in suitable accommodation and care.
Donation account 13 300
Donations can be paid into account 13 300 at the Kreissparkasse Miesbach-Tegernsee (bank code 711 525 70), IBAN DE04 7115 2570 0000 0133 00 - in person or by bank transfer.
Pre-printed transfer slips are available in the Sparkasse branches in the district.
For technical reasons we are unfortunately unable to enclose a transfer slip with our expenses this year.
Donation receipts
The payment slip is recognized by the tax office as a donation receipt up to an amount of 200 euros.
The district office issues donation receipts for donations over 200 euros.
In order to avoid queries, donors are asked to give the full address on the transfer.
Attribution
Anyone who supports “readers help readers” with at least five euros is named as a donor in the newspaper.
If you want to remain anonymous, please note this on the transfer.
No actions
Because all events that traditionally collect for the campaign are canceled due to the corona, every single donation is important this year as well.
We thank all readers for their support.
