Opinion | Violence between children: responsibility begins in us Israel today

Does your child fall victim to school abuse?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is preoccupied with this question, and rightly so.

Preliminary instinct leads us to protect our children at all costs, and part of that protection is to find out, to ask, not to leave the child alone.

In the triangle between the education system, the parents and their child who is being abused, another, central and important, albeit slightly transparent, player is ironically forgotten - the abusive child.

His character is shaped in our imagination when it is complete and complete, the character lines are known, and of course the mental deprivations that led him to violence and bullying are known.

Although all of these are known, I recommend that parents rummage through their memory, and check when was the last time they saw in reality a real child who meets the characteristics of the "abusive child" inherent in our imagination.

I personally have not met such a child, but I know my child.

The cute, sweet, loving and beloved child of his friends, the one who now prepares homework in his room, and that nothing in his appearance or demeanor implies or will ever imply that he is an abusive child.

or not.

Maybe he really is the noble and strong boy who came to the aid of the weak, just as I asked to raise him, but I will never know until I sit down with him and find out.

Abuse of a weak child can take many forms.

The minority of bullying is characterized by the simple and classic model, i.e. "evil boy" who comes with a suitcase of problems from home;

The abuse of the victim is the axis of his life, and the orchestra of the unfortunate is conducted by the "evil boy" alone.

While this is a simple model that is easy to understand and grasp, you should be wary of it.

Go for the complex scenarios, the ones of life, the ones at the end of which we may find our sweet private child on the side of the bad guys.

A sea of ​​words has been spilled over the claim "children can be cruel".

The claim is true, but it is also a bit simplistic.

It is true that children can be bad, cause terrible suffering and be the devil of their victim, but they do not always know it.

In many cases the children will not pay attention, nor will they devote any further thought to the fact that their very existence is the daily embodiment of hell for their friend.

It does not take much to be abused.

Sometimes it involves pressing a button on the mobile phone.

Sometimes even it's not.

Your child may be unknowingly involved in the abuse.

Maybe he's just "flowing" with his friends while being completely passive.

Let's imagine the school yard as a metaphor, and imagine the victim standing at the center of a circle of children. Not everyone beats, some "just" do not let him out, some even type on a cell phone and do not even watch what is happening. Remotely on the circle.Which of these is your child?

My job is to raise my children.

Explain to him in tangible detail the consequences of his actions.

My responsibility is to make him take responsibility for his weak friend, and to understand that there is and will never be a circle far enough away to take it from him.

Were we wrong?

Fixed!

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