"Mom, something bad happened": Ben (†) was considered a driver of death - he is now dying a second time for the family
Created: 12/23/2021 05:07 AM
From: Klaus-Maria Mehr
Ben Apostoli dies in this serious accident on the A95.
He was considered a driver for two years, although he probably wasn't behind the wheel at all.
© Apostoli / Römmler
More than two years after the death of his brother Ben in a terrible accident on the A95, Raphael Apostoli (27) speaks about the loss, pain and impending trial of the alleged driver, who was until recently a victim.
Gauting - "Mom, something bad happened." Raphael Apostoli has to call his mother himself. The parents are visiting their families in Naples. The police did not reach anyone. Raphael finds out about the serious accident online and immediately connects. He knows what unusual car his brother and his buddy were driving. Ben, 23, had previously sent him a photo of the rented Audi R8 Spyder. It should have been Ben's last message.
The silver super sports car, around 600 hp and a top speed of 330 km / h, sped on September 1, 2019 at around 2 a.m. on the A95 towards Garmisch-Partenkirchen near Oberdill, first against the guardrail and then against a tree.
The car is moving so fast that it is torn apart by the impact.
The engine block, car seats and axles are spread over a 100-meter field of rubble on the roadway.
Dramatic pictures: supercar torn to shreds in an accident
View photo gallery
“What happened?” Asks Bens and Raphael's mother on the other end of the line in Naples.
The then 25-year-old Raphael had to tell his own mother what he couldn't understand himself.
"Mom, Ben died."
She doesn't believe him, hangs up.
His father calls back five minutes later.
He doesn't want to admit it either.
Raphael should just say it's not true.
When they get home, they are still sure that there is a mistake, that their cheerful, young son, the family sunshine, walks right in through the front door and puts a smile on everyone's face again, as he always did.
Nightmare accident on the A95 near Starnberg: 20 days after Ben, his grandfather also dies
Ben is no longer coming.
At some point the parents accept that too and break because of it.
You are not the only one.
The grandfather dies 20 days later.
He's already seriously ill by then, pancreatic cancer.
Ben's death finishes him off.
“Mama, Ben died.” An accident photo on the morning of September 1, 2019. © J. Römmler
After Ben's death everything is different - "This is no longer Christmas"
The family ties with the Apostolis, who have run Krapf in Gauting for 35 years, are very close.
The pain is especially hard to bear on Christmas Eve.
All six used to celebrate together.
Grandma, Grandpa, Mama, Papa, Raphael and Ben.
Always.
Each year.
No matter what.
Next Friday there will be four of them for the third time.
And there is no longer any real celebration either.
"He's just missing," says Raphael, "this is no longer Christmas."
Fatal accident with Audi R8 on A95: the alleged driver lied for two years
And this Christmas Eve the pain will be as big as it was the first time, maybe even bigger.
“It's like Ben died a second time,” says his brother.
Because an expert report suddenly recounts the night of the accident.
After long, meticulous investigations by the Weilheim traffic police and the Munich I public prosecutor's office, it turns out that the survivor's version, Alex K., 24, is probably wrong.
At the time, K. testified that Ben had driven.
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For two years, Ben was considered the "death driver of Gauting" who had himself and almost his friend on his conscience.
The family doubted the version for a long time, also because Ben, as an IT salesman, had probably spent more time behind the wheel than others after 30 years of driving.
For two years, Ben was considered to be the "death driver of Gauting" - unbearable comments on Facebook
Despite the suspicion, hundreds of friends carried the popular Gautinger to his grave.
But the stigma remained.
The prejudices were there.
They met Raphael particularly hard and unprotected on Facebook.
Under the accident photos, Raphael read every single comment and looked at the profiles of the writers.
One thing stuck in his mind in particular: "Karma regulates."
Ben wasn't just Raphael's brother.
He was his best friend.
His confidante, his support in every situation.
When he died, he could no longer support Raphael and it should be his own fault.
His Ben, suddenly an irresponsible speedster who, in the opinion of many Facebook commentators, deserves nothing but death.
His Ben should have done that.
His Ben, with whom he shared so much time, so many beautiful moments, vacations, love, Christmas.
His Ben, who has always been correct.
That was what made him stand out.
"He was our sunshine": Ben Apostoli's death leaves an open wound that is now fully torn open again.
© Apostoli
The feelings for Ben's brother are so intolerable that he stops feeling
For Raphael, the feelings at the time are so unbearable that he stops feeling.
His girlfriend is the first to notice.
Raphael leaves her and their home and moves into his dead brother's apartment.
To be close to his parents, to support them, but also to be alone.
“I changed very, very much back then.
I got very cold.
It wasn't her fault. "
Since the report was there, which classifies Ben as a passenger, the feelings are back.
The family is very grateful to the police and the public prosecutor for investigations
Neither the police nor the public prosecutor's office can do anything about the fact that the investigation has lasted so long.
On the contrary.
"One can only wish for such police officers in our situation." A traffic analysis report takes time and has to stand up in court.
The fact that the responsible criminal chamber takes an unusually long time to decide on the admission of the proceedings is due to overload, says a spokesman for the Higher Regional Court in Munich.
Raphael Apostoli will appear in court as a joint plaintiff
When the time comes, Raphael Apostoli will appear as a co-plaintiff and for the first time face the man who had claimed for two years that his Ben drove himself to his death.
Raphael will feel no such thing as satisfaction.
The trial won't bring his Ben back.
Instead painful memories.
But Raphael thinks of him all the time anyway.
One scene comes particularly often.
At Raphael's graduation ceremony, Ben takes his brother aside.
He has tears in his eyes and says: "I'm so proud of you."
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