These moments, a second before the year returns equipment, are the summary stage.
We have of course had winners and losers and yearlings at the national and international level, but with your permission, we will start with some private summaries.
Much of the year I spent in traffic jams, and this is not the only area where I have not made much progress.
Even though I snore at night, I'm still married to the same woman, and even though I did not win a "Master Chef," I'm still a dad making schnitzels for those girls.
They actually progressed in life - one received a driver's license, another advanced in higher education, and a third was equipped with a poodle bitch named Jacob.
Unfortunately, this year too I did not buy Bitcoin, did not stock up on Tesla, did not have a hair transplant in Turkey and did not appoint a minister or ambassador, although the amount of hours I spent this year in training (even if it was at home) qualifies me as Minister of Energy. .
During the year I got up for work, paid bills and donated to the state through fines when I was photographed traveling in yellow lanes (more than Britney Spears was photographed in paparazzi photography).
But with all due respect to me, you deserve a more comprehensive year summary.
To this end, a virtual committee of experts convened under my leadership and unanimously elected, my mouth, the elected of the year.
As is customary in the worlds of annual summaries, and to make it easier for readers, our summary is divided into several categories, rather than in order of importance.
Virus of the year
Unlike previous years, in which this category starred viruses designed to spoil computers and various types of flu, this year took the Omicron crown, which with its launch made the Delta and other variants look like outdated iPhone models, not to mention Nokia 95, with a name that sounds like dessert in French cuisine and features Be more contagious even than crocomobus.
The branded storm of the year
The winner is undoubtedly "Carmel", which may not have justified the stormy predictions that hung in it, and in the end, Mount Carmel gave birth to a mouse, but the winning branding did its thing.
This time the storm was given there (and another lady's), similar to what has been the practice in the US for years, perhaps to make us feel that what is here is not just another local storm, but that we have also opened a branch of a global hurricane network in Petah Tikva.
Achievement this year
It belongs, of course, to the Tel Aviv municipality, which has managed to become the most expensive city in the world, and probably also the noisiest city in the world.
This is an absolutely impressive achievement for a city without parking, which has more traffic jams than a Coca-Cola factory, whose sidewalks are adorned with dog poop, and rainfall in the amount that Europeans consider summer destroys its infrastructure and makes it a combination of Venice and Calcutta.
Farewell to the year
Some would argue that this year's farewell is that of the glittering couple Noa Kirl and Margie, or that of Yehuda Levy and Shlomit Malka.
But the one who took the crown is the tear-jerking farewell of the Netanyahu family from its security guards (not including Bibi, who will continue to enjoy security).
This is the end of a long-standing relationship, which will surely leave its mark on both sides.
Beep this year
Songbirds and electric car horns competed here, but the one who took the crown was the prime minister's wife, Gilat Bennett, who despite the omicron celebrations around and her husband's recommendations to citizens, tweeted at everyone and went with the kids on a vacation abroad. However, it is estimated that such a leave could cost between two and three seats.
Composition this year
This award belongs to an unprecedented government, which manages to combine Ayelet Shaked and Mansour Abbas.
Bennett is responsible for an unprecedented achievement when he managed to jump to the top of the parade and the government right from the corner for your judgment, and with six seats.
Holiday of the year
The winners here are the Oknin couple, who were arrested in Turkey during a holiday on the grounds that they were spies, and released with the intervention of the prime minister and foreign minister.
Which made it clear that it is easier for the prime minister to return to the country people who are in a Turkish prison than his family members.
For the Oknin couple it was an unpleasant event, and should be given time to overcome the trauma, but it may well not be far off today and they will harness their experience for the common good and offer unique holiday packages to Turkey, including a tour of the site they filmed. Turkish government account, including food and accommodation on half board board and half midnight express.
Singer of the year
This title, which in the past went to people like Jordana Arazi, Ofra Haza and Arik Einstein, was won this year by Spaghetti, Oats, Strawberries, Roosters, Schnauzer and Gorilla.
Excavation of the year
This year's excavation is not related to archeology, nor is it to a family member of the excavating breed.
It actually took place in a fairly well-kept place, named Gilboa Prison, and by six terrorists who managed to dig uninterrupted even though the sewer was clogged.
The six were captured and returned to prison, but given the ability they demonstrated, it is worth considering letting them dig the Tel Aviv metro as well.
This year's comeback
Without a doubt, the recorded message.
After years of texting and WhatsApp, and after years of no one talking to anyone on the phone anymore, the recording is back, and in a big way.
In the early days of voicemail (not to mention the prehistory of the electronic secretary), we all proudly announced "Please do not leave a message" - since it is not our honor to listen to voicemails, so write to us.
And look at this miracle: now we're back to listening to messages, because today people are too lazy to write, or they no longer really know how to do it.
Conversation really is not, but it certainly brings the human voice back to the arena.
The most Israeli site of the year
Dubai.
Many Israelis found their happiness in the Emirates wearing a galabiya and a kaffiyeh, posing with a falcon on their hand and dressing up as the kind of Arab who did not threaten them and was glad they had arrived.
As the saying goes, a good Arab is a millionaire.
A real new Middle East.
The highlight of the visit is not Mount Sinai status, tea status or social status, but the bone-pulling status from the asado.
Relaxing this year
No, it's not necessarily the booster, thanks to which we are not kidnapping Corona and can patronize the rest of the world who are still stuck in a section of two vaccines, but rather US President Joe Biden.
Biden, whose rival Donald Trump has earned him the nickname "Sleepy Joe," has garnered much criticism for being a serial sleeper, but I see his habit of napping at meetings and public events as a reassuring message.
Knowing that even in a time of many crises and pressures the leader of the free world manages to put all tensions aside in favor of a healthy spring, makes it clear to all of us that perhaps the situation is not so terrible, and that there is someone to trust.
Sleep is basically his way of conveying to the Russians, the Chinese and Kim Jong-un a message that says: Friends - you do not keep sleep out of my eyes, I sleep well at night, and if necessary - even during the day.
yairn@israelhayom.co.il
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