Haim Velder's suicide is a Shakespearean tragedy - a pity he did not take responsibility for his actions

I met Haim personally five years ago, when I accompanied his family during his son's cancer, which he finally understood.

Kindness was a candle to his feet, ostensibly.

I hoped with all my heart that a plot had been hatched against him.

But if the complainants spoke the truth against him, there was nothing left but to regret that things did not turn out differently with the revelation of the affair.

Dr. Ilan Rabinowitz

28/12/2021

Tuesday, 28 December 2021, 10:40 Updated: 10:42

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About two weeks ago, Channel 13, "Reshet", hosted an important fundraiser for the "Mugalim" organization - the need for an essential time to build homes that will help with the individual care of autistic children with low functioning. Preceded by an exciting evening event where I was asked to speak (both as a specialist psychiatrist-therapist and pain) in front of an audience of a thousand families of the association. The speaker after me was the most revered and read author in the ultra-Orthodox community, Rabbi Chaim Velder.

Minutes before the broadcast on "Reshet", Avi Mimran, the father of Itzik - a low-functioning autistic and founder of "Mugalim", approached me and apologized: "Dr. Rabinowitz, sorry that your moving words at the event will not be broadcast today. We decided to take them down because in the film we see Rabbi Chaim Velder sitting on the stage next to you and we do not want his actions to sign the association. "I murmured:" But he claims sweeping innocence and a blood libel against him and has not yet been convicted. "

It does not matter. The ultra-Orthodox community has had its say. Anyone who thinks that rape and sexual harassment by those in authority and power are being swept away is a huge mistake. Sometimes the sentence there is more final than any court.

Expenditure outside the camp. Total boycott. Burning books. An eternal stain for a person and his family.

I was a boy and also an old man and few know that even though I got the name of "the psychiatrist of the famous in Israel", I also treat (whoever chooses me to be his doctor) the ultra-Orthodox community: Lithuanians and Hasidim, Gur, Viznitz, Belaz, "Ezra the healer" Rabbi Elimelech Firer, "Ezer Mitzion", Mea Shearim and the ultra-Orthodox community.

I knew Haim Velder well personally about five years ago.

The late and beloved son, the late Zviki Welder, contracted metastatic cancer, which made a name for himself. The doctors gave him a few months to live, with two toddler sons and a young wife in the background. His father Chaim was referred to me by Rabbi Firer, At a time when the ground is slipping under their feet.

More on Walla!

The last letter left by Haim Velder: "I have reached the limit of suffering"

To the full article

It would have been better if he had taken responsibility for his actions.

Velder (Photo: Official Website, David 25)

I was amazed then by the supreme psychic powers of Father Haim and son Zviki. In my medical recommendations flew to the US and Europe, where the son underwent innovative treatments that extended his life by three years. Three years he survived in full innocence, with immense happiness, with his wife and sons. "This is the last time we will meet, but forever I will remember your work for me," he said in a weak but confident voice. After hours his eyes closed forever. All of Bnei Brak was blocked at the funeral, many tens of thousands. A rare young man, who died prematurely, with his mouth and heart equal.The

author Haim Velder has published a fifteenth edition of his mythical, best-selling book, "My Name is Zviki Green," with a picture of his late son Zviki printed on the cover. This is a book that was published 24 years ago in the first edition.There is no ultra-Orthodox house that does not have a book and almost no child who does not know how to recite large parts of it orally.

Haim Velder would be proud to hear that his books are relevant to every time and sector and not necessarily to the ultra-Orthodox. "I write to children at eye level, in a language they understand and talk about the things every child experiences." For decades he has written about eighty books, all of which star in the bestsellers of the ultra-Orthodox cultural world. He has become a revered and well-known personality in every ultra-Orthodox home, a lecturer and a highly sought-after educational consultant. He was a very smart and impressive man, very charismatic, a leader and sweeping, transmitting values, values, when seemingly kind-hearted he is a candle to his feet.

When I read the important investigation of the Haaretz newspaper a month and a half ago, by journalists Aharon Rabinowitz (no family connection) and Shira Alec, in which brave testimonies of three women were presented, I shuddered and wandered annually.

As a clinician who specializes in straightforward psychodynamics, the concept jumped out at me: Reaction formation - a defense mechanism in which unacceptable aggressive impulses are hidden and controlled by an opposite excessive tendency.

The wolf in the sheepskin.

A person who conveys values, warmth, love for others, gentleness and sensitivity can turn from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, a cruel predator to young girls and women.

These are captivated by his charms and he does with them all he wills.

Welder's suicide scene, yesterday (Photo: Flash 90, no)

I had hoped with all my heart and heart that Velder was right and that this was a plot that was hatched against him and things never were. In the past week, when twenty-two horrific testimonies of girls and women were published before the ultra-Orthodox tribunal set up to examine Velder's claims, headed by Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu, there seems to be no room for doubt. Shocking evidence of the ongoing sexual exploitation of minors captured by a ruthless predator who serves as their admirable figure. Unfortunately for the rabbi, contrary to my recommendation, Haim Velder refused to appear before the court and take responsibility for his actions.

Katonati in the face of the honor of Rabbi Gershon Edelstein, president of the Council of Torah Scholars of Degel HaTorah and one of the leaders of the ultra-Orthodox-Lithuanian public, who likened the accusations against Velder to "whitewashing" and even to murder. "He who whitens the face of his friend in public, has no part in the next world." I also resented Rabbi Yehoshua Eichenstein, Rosh Yeshivat Yad Aharon in Jerusalem, who said that "students should be told that bad people brought a bad name on Velder and published the bad name everywhere, until they made him ashamed to show his face outside and made him sick, until he killed himself. ".

I can testify in my expertise and professional integrity that Chaim Velder was a strong man like a solid cliff, always stable in his mind and never needed the psychiatric and / or psychological relief of myself or my colleagues, even in a terrible crisis when he lost his beloved son.

As a doctor and as a person I am very sad today, to hear about the body of Father Haim lying on the grave of his beloved son Zviki. Shakespearean tragedy. Tears suffocate my throat. And yet, if the testimonies and recordings are true, I am more saddened by the girls and women who forever scarred and plundered their innocence forever. As a specialist psychiatrist, I know that it is very difficult to heal the mental scars of ongoing rape by a person you have given total trust in while blindly admiring. He is above your trust and has made your body as his own.

The ultra-Orthodox media may be modest about the story, but clear information: The earth is shaking today in the ultra-Orthodox community - a society that can at times teach us secularists about "and love your neighbor as yourself." If the complainants were telling the truth, there was nothing left but to agree with Rabbi Eliyahu's words: "It is a pity he did not take responsibility for his actions. He could have taught many through repentance. The lives of the victims precede his life."

It may be worthwhile in the future for such cases in ultra-Orthodox society to be investigated directly by the Israel Police, and on the recommendation of the State Attorney's Office to be heard in court.

I believe that there are judges in Jerusalem and only there can the facts be clarified and justice done.

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