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“I said: your manner is very strict. No more ”: The bizarre quotes from the district court

2022-01-02T20:30:12.359Z


“I said: your manner is very strict. No more ”: The bizarre quotes from the district court Created: 01/02/2022, 9:18 pm Under the watchful eyes of Justitias, sometimes adventurous scenes take place in the courtrooms. © dpa You get to hear a lot during the criminal trials at the Wolfratshauser District Court. We have collected the best quotes from judges, witnesses and defendants. Wolfratshause


“I said: your manner is very strict.

No more ”: The bizarre quotes from the district court

Created: 01/02/2022, 9:18 pm

Under the watchful eyes of Justitias, sometimes adventurous scenes take place in the courtrooms.

© dpa

You get to hear a lot during the criminal trials at the Wolfratshauser District Court.

We have collected the best quotes from judges, witnesses and defendants.

Wolfratshausen - “You mustn't ask me.

I ask you and you answer.

That's the game here. ”The judge explains the rules of the criminal procedure to the accused.

“That is a criminal offense”: The funniest and most bizarre quotes from the district court

“I haven't seen it yet, but I think I've had a sign in front of my head for a good 20 years that says: It's stupid as bread.

Just tell him a story, he'll believe it. ”The judge gives the accused to understand that he has considerable doubts about his admission.

"My suggestion: I am innocent." A defendant helps the judge to reach a verdict.

Youngsters freaking out at McDonalds - juvenile court assistance becomes clear

“That's just not an occurrence.

You don't go to McDonalds, yell and mob just because you're stressed.

You have to find another channel for that. ”The juvenile court assistant reads the riot act to a defendant (20).

The young man had insulted the branch manager in the fast food shop and poured a mug of Coke over his shirt (this, however, possibly unintentionally).

"You will soon be 21. Then it quickly becomes very expensive or very quickly very cramped - in the cell." The prosecutor explains to an adolescent at his sixth trial before the juvenile court what to expect if he continues to commit crimes as an adult.

Cocaine and Cannabis Problem?

No, it's all a question of timing

“Do you have a problem with cannabis and cocaine?” The judge asks the defendant, who was found to have residues of both drugs in a blood sample.

“No,” replies the defendant.

"I would say it was bad timing that I took two noses on the very day I was stopped."

"I'm going to do the master's school soon," says the accused, who has several criminal records, as he enumerates what has changed for the better in his life.

"Where?

In Stadelheim?

Then you have a place to stay right away, "replied the judge, to make it clear to the accused that there is actually only one way for someone who does the same" sh ... "again under the relevant open probation.

“I know that I have bad cards, at least here on earth.

But I know that at some point I will be judged.

Up in heaven at the latest. ”A defendant in her last word.

“Cars are my life” - even when racing illegally

“What about drugs today?” The judge asks the young defendant, who has had multiple drug crimes.

“Narcotics, that's long gone.

I used to smoke a lot ... “, replied the defendant.

“And beer?” The judge asked.

"Direct overconsumption has not existed since the incident," replies the defendant, still embarrassed because he roared through the village in Nazi slogans, which is why he has to answer for hate speech, among other things.

“I love cars.

Cars are my life.

I am very interested in them.

If I've known one longer, I'll need a new one. ”A young defendant (19) charged with a prohibited car race makes no secret of his passion for automobiles.

"It takes a bend like a sip of Cola"

“I also don't like being told how stupid I am.

But at some point you have to hear it, "says the judge to the accused, who is very upset during the verdict.

"He behaves like a sip of Coke in a curve." The judge's assessment of the behavior of a road user who insulted three policemen on the way to have his blood drawn.

“He lives in a hamlet.

There is no public transport.

Nothing is going on there - except for foxes and rabbits. ”Lawyer explains why his client, who was caught at the wheel with 1.5 per mille, should urgently get his driver's license back.

"It is your decision: If you continue smoking, you go to jail, with one and a half legs you are already in it." Ban on using illegal drugs violates.

Prosecutor arrested?

Quirky scenes at the district court

"You brought very bad cards with you, but you mixed the cards yourself." Richter explains to the accused, who is responsible for the distribution of drugs to minors, what impression it made for the jury that he a) did not attend the court hearing had appeared, b) had to be brought before the police, c) the police had found five grams of marijuana and a cannabis plant ready for harvest in his apartment when he was picked up.

"I hereby declare the arrest of the prosecutor for membership in a terrorist organization." A defendant on trial for insult and threat after the prosecutor read the indictment.

“The pictures are definitely disgusting.

But let's be honest: It used to be Egon Schiele, today we have it. ”A defense attorney wants to relativize the pornographic images that her client sent to an acquaintance on the Internet and tries to compare them with one of the most important painters of Austrian Expressionism.

“There are nicer views with an after-work beer in the garden.

It was the first beautiful spring day, and I stood exactly where I took the sun away from him. ”A victim feels sympathy for the accused.

This was verbally freaked out because the neighbor had pushed his mighty mobile home for years in front of the garden fence.

"Fucking the urine sample, that's the last thing"

“Your behavior is worrying: First of all, always go for it and then think.

To change that will perhaps be a life's work, it is a deeply rooted behavior. ”Assessment of the public prosecutor's assessment of the 17-year-old accused, who is also noticeable in the courtroom with her impulsive behavior and extreme fluctuations in emotions.

“They immediately turned around during therapy.

That doesn't look good, the colleagues at the court of appeal are pissed off.

And shitting at the urine sample, that's the last thing. ”The judge grumbles at the accused, who repeatedly violated the instructions of the management supervisory authority when he was given double parole, including by wanting to submit a urine sample using a dummy penis.

“One says it this way, another says it differently.

Great! ”Judge on the crux of testimony against testimony.

"It's frightening when someone receives a penalty warrant, and not even a week later, he is drinking his head full of delicious plum brandy and rioting at the police station." Richter shows incomprehension for a defendant.

A few days after he was convicted of negligent bodily harm, he first had a traffic accident with 2.8 per thousand alcohol in his blood and then massively resisted being sent to the sobering cell.

"My goodness.

I'm going crazy.

What kind of stories are served up here. ”The judge despairs at the creativity with which the accused garnishes his admission.

After jail is before jail: Young defendant is a permanent guest in court

“I haven't manipulated anything.

I'm not that stupid as an electrician.

That is a criminal offense. ”One defendant is indignant because, given his professional background, he is believed to have tapped electricity for three years in the emergency shelter that was made available to him by the city.

“You are developing a life line based on the motto: After jail is before jail.

It will be a drama: You will lose track of what you are currently in custody for. ”A youth court assistant to the young defendant who, despite long arrests already served, continues to commit a criminal offense.

"I quickly can't remember when I've drunk alcohol," explains a young accused who insulted foreigners with 1.8 per thousand and had to be handcuffed by the police because he completely freaked out during the check.

Not drunk - but pretty drunk

Defendant to the judge: "I'm sorry." Judge to the defendant: "That is fine, but we have to punish you."

“You touched me and I don't like that.

You lied to me, and I don't like that either, ”says the defendant, justifying why he insulted the police.

He apologized to the officer in the courtroom and recommends: “Next time, please just say: Come with me!

But don't touch, I don't like that. "

"I prefer to watch the Battle of Britain." One defendant shows little interest in the video of the body cam recording that documents his horrific dropouts.

"He wasn't drunk, he was drunk." A defense attorney points out a small but crucial difference in his client's condition at the time of the crime.

“I can't explain the insults.

I've only ever had good experiences with police officers.

But now there are new police officers, that's probably a problem. ”The defendant, who is no stranger to the police, puzzles why he suddenly freaked out with the law enforcement officers after years of peaceful intercourse.

“A pile of misery sits in front of me.” Richter shows compassion for the accused, who has been marked by alcohol.

Augustiner beer instead of cannabis: defendant draws his conclusions

“We rarely have such a alcohol in adolescents.

In rock music they used to say Keith Richards level.

“I said: your manner is very strict.

Nothing more, ”asserts the defendant, who is charged with having described the employee of a foreigners authority as a“ racist person ”.

After a moment's thought, the man adds: "She is pregnant, maybe she heard it wrong."

“I stopped using cannabis.

Two Augustinians do the same. ”The defendant, who is on trial for dealing in and possession of narcotics, asserts that he only consumes legal drugs.

“You can simply smoke it in a pipe, these witnesses.

He tells us robber pistols - I just don't know which one is correct. ”Richter is at a loss as to what the accused will benefit from, who is acquitted of the drug trafficking charge.

The charges were based on the testimony of the witness, who "did a big egg dance" in court.

"I'm a shit." Is the answer of a witness, why he did not intervene or at least immediately called the police when his partner was threatened and strangled by her ex-boyfriend.

"You can take off - only the masks for the time being." Richter loosens the corona rules at the meeting.

"I would like to apologize.

What else can I do so that I am not locked up? ”Asks the defendant when he is given the last floor.

It ends: "Mr. Richter, here you go, san's not too hard."

“In Germany they say he tells a story about the dead dog.

Please translate! ”, The judge asks the interpreter to inform the accused that he considers him untrustworthy.

“Children?” Asks the judge when he discusses the personal circumstances of the elderly defendants.

He gets a resolute “no” to the answer.

And the reason: "My husband had four from his first marriage, so I didn't need any more."

The judge agrees the personal details of the accused.

“From Schweinfurt, a Franconian?” He observes.

“Yes,” replies the man.

“You can't help it,” says the judge.

“No, you can't help it,” replies the defendant.

"There are worse things," the judge continues: "You could also be a Rhinelander." Then the defense attorney puffed through his hair: "I should have guessed that such a sentence would come."

You can find more news from Wolfratshausen and the region here.

By the way: Everything from the region is also available in our regular Wolfratshausen-Geretsried newsletter.

Source: merkur

All news articles on 2022-01-02

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