Booster for the psyche in Corona times: an expert reveals what motivates us - "Laughter always helps"

More sport, less alcohol, better keeping things tidy - the range of traditional New Year's resolutions is wide.

Psychotherapist Marianne Rappenglück reveals in an interview how we achieve our goals.

For Marianne Rappenglück, people who go through life with a smile are the happiest of all.

Born in Partenkirchen and systemic therapist, she should know, after all, she has happiness in her name.

In her practice for psychotherapy in Harlaching in Munich, the 63-year-old hears again and again what makes people demotivated and unhappy.

"The pandemic unsettles, irritates and tires us," says Rappenglück.

“At the beginning of the year in particular, we are making good resolutions and setting ourselves goals.” And that requires discipline - but also humor.

Good morning, Ms. Rappenglück.

How did you start the day today?

I just went for a walk with my beagle, Beppi.

This brings me to 15,000 steps every day.

By the way, everyone should go for a walk at least once a day.

Going out is healing, even a walk around the block - or even along the middle ring.

The main thing is to leave the house.

Do you have a New Year's resolution?

Of course (laughs).

Like 95 percent of women, I want to lose weight again this year.

Eating is my great irrationality, after all I come from a family of restaurateurs and I really enjoy cooking myself.

What is the “secret recipe”?

When losing weight?

Just discipline, unfortunately.

(laughs)

2022: How do I keep my resolutions when the euphoria dies down at some point?

What good resolutions do you still hear in your practice at the moment?

Well, people simply want to "get rid of" a lot: the pounds, the cigarettes or the alcohol.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, however, many couples with children have also come to me.

In everyday life you quickly lose your nerve and become aggressive - so in the future you want to scream less and no longer be so irritable.

+

As a systemic therapist, Marianne Rappenglück runs a practice for psychotherapy in Harlaching in Munich.

© Janine Guldener

How do we stick to our resolutions?

Real goals are important.

Anyone who ran a half marathon three times last year can venture into the marathon this year.

Of course, this does not apply to someone who has never played sports before.

So it is important to be aware: Who am I?

What can I?

Where do i want to go

The more specific the goal, the better.

That way, there will be the least doubt.

When do we stumble?

As soon as we doubt, because doubts hinder our actions.

At the beginning of the year, many people swim right at the top of the wave of euphoria.

At some point it subsides, which is quite natural.

Then we have to keep an eye on the goal in a disciplined manner and under no circumstances should we resort to excuses, constantly complain and make ourselves victims.

That only leads to the fact that in the end we just shout or grab the chocolate and become frustrated and annoyed again.

Loneliness, insecurity and fatigue: the corona pandemic has put a damper on our happiness

Do you have a tip for everyone who is already struggling with their resolutions?

The human being is a self-determined and rational being.

So everyone has the strength and the power to decide what to do.

Failure is part of life and not a catastrophe.

But if you really want to quit smoking or lose weight, you have it in your own hands and have to want to proactively change something.

For my failure I can then neither blame fate nor other nebulous reasons.

That sounds pretty strict ...

Consistency is part of success.

But you shouldn't be too dogged either.

We live in a performance-oriented society that gives us ideals.

But always wanting to fulfill the hell out of it does not make us happy.

My tip: stay authentic.

How do i want to be

What can I?

When am I particularly happy?

For this you usually don't need golden taps or model measures - rather a relaxing walk, a nice chat while shopping and friends and family who listen and stand by you.

After all, humans are pack animals.

Marianne Rappenglück's tip: "Look where the fun is at home"

But when the whole family sits on top of each other for the purpose of home office, the nerves are quickly on edge again - how do you consistently stay relaxed?

You just have to grab your nose and see where the fun is going (laughs).

Even the long-term depressive Friedrich Nietzsche finally said: “I can pronounce laughter as sacred.” And that's how it is.

Laughing almost always helps.

If the noodle plate accidentally falls out of the boy's hand, it doesn't help to scold him again.

Just take a quick breath, in the next moment something like that is usually totally funny.

Others do not struggle with the quirks of living together, but with loneliness.

How do you motivate yourself best?

Also through the corridor outside, for example in the zoo or in busy places to watch people.

But I can't get upset about someone parking the wrong way.

You should be amazed at how the trees rustle or how the child who has just fallen gets up again and continues to run.

This is how you can collect positive memories.

And remember at home - new and old - and daydream.

Maybe you get a little sentimental about that.

But grief is better than aggression, and after that brief dip, you definitely feel better.

So does it motivate us to specifically try to see the good?

I agree.

Anyone who rattles nicely and innocently with the other waiting people at the bakery and doesn't scold about having to queue for so long is in a positive mood afterwards.

Small talk is healthy, as studies have shown us.

As well as everyday rituals, such as reading the newspaper in the morning, a cup of coffee or a game of cards.

That's where it lies again, the fun that motivates us in the long term to achieve our goals - even if the great New Year's euphoria subsides again at some point.